1
My classmate Lian Jie is a strong woman. She used to be a creative representative in college. At the critical moment, she played an irreplaceable role as a leader in various meetings. When I graduated, of course, I was chosen to study abroad.
However, studying abroad means that Sister Lian will leave her boyfriend, and the relationship of foreign love has been in jeopardy. At that time, we all thought it would be a problem for Sister Lian, and we volunteered to be her bosom brother. I didn't expect Sister Lian to look natural.
"Of course, it is my dream to choose to study abroad." Sister Lian said calmly.
When Sister Lian left, many people sympathized with her boyfriend. The classmates even think that Sister Yan is really a selfish person, but her boyfriend understands and explains to Sister Lian, "If she stays, it won't be her own. I love her just the way she is, and she is not wrong. "
In the past two years, Sister Lian continued to learn the art she loved, while her boyfriend worked hard after graduation and accumulated the capital to buy a house and a car. Two years of foreign love, no one can imagine, but we all know that we survived, and the end of the road is the church of marriage.
A few days ago, I went to attend the wedding of my college friend Sister Lian, and when I saw Sister Lian again, I found that she was more temperamental than before, and her boyfriend was more mature and steady.
No one has given up on himself for anyone, but everyone has become better for each other in their own lives, from meeting by chance to destiny takes a hand, from a foreign country to sharing a bed. You haven't changed, and I haven't changed, because I like you and I like myself with you.
2
At the same time as Sister Lian, she was a famous "China Good Girlfriend" in our class in college.
Originally regarded as the apple of her eye at home, she often saves pocket money just to secretly buy a brand-name dress for her boyfriend; I burned my hand and left a scar in order to cook his birthday dinner in the kitchen. Even when I graduated, I decided to go to a foreign land with him in order to live in the same city with him.
However, after entering the society, Mei Zi was broken up by her boyfriend of five years.
After breaking up, I still asked him mercilessly, "Is there really no room for our relationship for so many years?"
I advised Mei Zi not to do anything, because everything she did was superfluous, but Mei Zi still didn't give up, crying and telling me that he was her dream future. She loves him more than herself.
Later, Mei Zi did many things in secret.
When it rained heavily, she braved the rain to send him an umbrella from home, and then watched him get on the taxi.
She sent him all her photos in a beautiful photo album on Valentine's Day, and then learned that she had a new girlfriend.
She spent all her savings just to buy him a brand-name suit he once liked, but he didn't pick up the courier at all;
She even went to ask every friend around her, asking him what he lacked recently and what help he needed. Finally, all her friends blocked her.
……
Sister Lian sent invitations to get married, and she didn't have the strength to attend. During that time, her life was chaotic and her spirit was exhausted. She tried to save it, in exchange for her boyfriend's words, "Leave me alone."
People who don't know that she has broken up are boasting that Mei Zi is a rare woman who knows romance and does so many touching things for her lover. But when I looked at her stiff eyes, I was obviously tired.
three
Touching scenes in TV series are often the protagonist's desperate efforts to realize a small wish of his lover, even if he pays everything, even if he is unknown.
"I love you more than myself" was once regarded as the supreme true love. But really putting yourself into love life is actually a manifestation of not loving yourself.
Many times, the paranoia about love makes us forget the person who likes him and the person who was free at the beginning. I forgot myself, so much so that I started bring disgrace to oneself, thinking that I could never leave that person.
A reader once asked me why she had been with him for so many years, and he finally left so easily.
In fact, whoever leaves can live a good life. Love is actually a process of enjoying yourself better. The other person can let go earlier. Maybe he has no feelings for you at all, but he knows how to love himself better and will let go faster.
The reason why he left is the same as the reason why you fell in love with him, because you love yourself. When one person can't give what another person wants, you should get out in time.
This is not a selfish thing. Wilde said: "Love yourself is the beginning of a romantic life."
four
In a relationship, loving yourself at different stages has different meanings.
Love yourself at first, in order to find the one that suits you best and treat each other rationally; If you want to love yourself in the future, you should be as self-respecting and self-loving as Sister Lian, not betraying and not easily losing your way. To love ourselves when we are finally injured is to tell us to stop in time. Only those who know how to love themselves will know how to love.
When The Big Fish Begonia was released the other day, the heroine in the movie even sacrificed herself and ruined her home for The First Hero. Some people were moved, and more people stood up and spoke.
Indeed, we may all have had the madness that I love you more than myself, but long-lasting love is often not so vigorous. A truly long-lasting love life must come from two hearts that know how to love themselves and respect each other independently, because the essence of love is to fully enjoy yourself.
Don't always think about turning into spring mud to protect flowers. What can you love without yourself? Mature love is two flowers, each blooming, unique to each other and enjoying the spring scenery together. Life is magnificent. Wang Xiaobo told Li Yinhe that loving you is like loving life.
The sea is not full of mountains, but there are always glaciers on earth. No matter how exquisite the goblet is, it is best to hold only one-third of the wine. We don't need much love.
Psychological counselor. WeChat official account: Su Yuan (ID: Su Yuan -s)