"I hate my brother. I don't want my brother at home. When I play with my brother, sometimes my brother makes mistakes, but my mother always blames me and doesn't like to look down on my brother. I am a child, too. At first, my mother and father loved me very much. It is because of my brother's appearance that they give me a feeling of indifference. My brother robbed my parents of their love. I don't like him. I hate my brother. "
Lily was cleaning the room for her children when she suddenly found such a piece of paper on the desk. It occurred to her that her daughter secretly wrote on the table yesterday.
At that time, I still disliked my children. Why don't I come out and help take care of my brother? Later, when I entered the house, the child fell asleep, and I didn't ask again. I didn't expect to see such words today.
After Lili married her husband, she soon became pregnant and gave birth to her eldest daughter. It was enough to raise my daughter, but before the opening of the second child policy, my family was tickled and thought it was good to have a son as a companion for my daughter.
I thought that my child, now about 5 years old, would certainly understand his parents and show a liking for his younger brother, but I found that the child's inner thoughts were not like this.
In many families with two children, the relationship between brothers and sisters is not as simple as we thought. Parents may have never considered Dabao's idea before giving birth to a child, but put Bauer directly in front of them.
They always think that children are too young to understand and will definitely accept their parents' demands, but this is not the case.
Just like the idea expressed by Lili's eldest daughter mentioned above, it may be one of the main contradictions of many second-child families now, and it is also the general psychological state of many Dabao.
Once before, I suddenly saw the appearance of "prevent the second child" on the browser, which was really shocking.
At that time, out of curiosity, and there were two children in my family, I wanted to know what these children really thought. I didn't expect these posts to show Dabao's arduous journey.
They don't think Bauer should show up. They don't like having another brother or sister.
Is the second child really that annoying? After visiting the second child, I learned that many people hate the second child, mainly for these reasons:
The former little princess suddenly became Cinderella. Will she be happy? Girls, in particular, are more sensitive.
"Once I went home, I saw my father, mother and brother talking and laughing, but when I came back, everyone stopped. For an instant, I felt that this home no longer belonged to me."
Many parents are always worried about whether their Dabao will be angry, so they may not want Dabao to feel happy when they are in contact with Bauer.
But under the same roof, it is inevitable that the above misunderstanding will occur again.
For children, they just want to see what they want to see, and this kind of scene will hurt them, make them depressed, and think that they don't belong to this family, as if they are redundant.
Everyone has a demon in his heart, but when the environment he contacts is kind, the demon will always be in his heart, and when jealousy, anger and anger appear in his heart, the demon will gradually emerge.
For children, when they grow up slowly, they don't always hold the so-called kind attitude.
In particular, the emergence of Erbao has given children a sense of competition.
Such thoughts have accumulated in my heart for a long time, which will naturally make the child's jealousy obvious and unwilling to contact with his brother and sister.
My best friend Honghong gave birth to her eldest daughter in 16, and the family is very happy.
But in the process of contact with other people, my daughter sometimes asks Hong Hong, "Mom, mom, why do others have brothers and sisters and I don't?"
At first, red was extremely resistant to this topic. I have always believed that only a child can have talent, educate her well and cultivate her into a better person.
But later, I couldn't stand the expectation of my eldest daughter and asked the child, "Do you want a brother or a sister?" When children show a very eager attitude, they begin to actively prepare for pregnancy.
In the process of pregnancy, children will also show extreme curiosity about their younger brothers or sisters. Sometimes I tell them stories, which makes Hong Hong feel very happy.
On the night when Honghong gave birth to her baby, she didn't cheat her baby, but told her eldest daughter about it and said that the younger brother she expected was about to be born.
Knowing the news, the eldest daughter was more excited than before. After leaving the hospital, I always hope to help my mother and eldest daughter in my spare time.
She cares more and more about her younger brother, who is simply a brother-in-law.
Coupled with the usual love for his younger brother, the child showed the responsibility of a sister. Whatever my brother likes, he will always give it to him.
In the process of contact with mom and dad, sometimes my mother is angry and thinks my brother is crying, and she will also pull away her mother to prevent her brother from being beaten.
Indeed, judging from the situation of her family, I also feel that the second child or the second child family is not as embarrassed as we thought.
If parents can be in a more correct state. Let Dabao accept Bauer's birth and be willing to take care of Bauer. Naturally, the family is extremely happy.
No child can be born hostile to other children, and the attitude of parents is extremely important in a family.
Therefore, I also hope that everyone can consider the impact of this kind of eyes and attitude on children.
In a family, parents and children are related by blood, so from the beginning, their status is extremely close.
However, for Dabao and Bauer, they are two people in the family who have a competitive relationship.
Especially for Dabao, his sense of crisis is more obvious, and the sudden changes of his parents will also make them uncomfortable.
So be sure to give your child a psychological preparation, and don't decide whether to have a second child at will, regardless of your baby's psychological state.
Before and after pregnancy
(1) Ask your child's opinion.
"Baby baby, do you want brothers and sisters? Have you ever expected a younger brother or sister? Do you like your brother or sister? "
"If mom gives birth to a younger brother for you, will you?"
"Do you want your sister to play with you?"
Such a simple statement actually shows parents' respect for their children, and the child's answer is one of our reference opinions.
In this way, the child's inquiry can also understand his true inner thoughts without affecting the future relationship.
② Let the two children get along happily.
I believe everyone knows that prenatal education is more important. Mom and dad can communicate with their children in about 5 months.
After that, the parent-child relationship will become more and more harmonious. After the mother is pregnant, Dabao's participation will actually bring the relationship between the two brothers and sisters closer.
Especially in the process of prenatal education, mothers can let children listen to the heartbeat of their younger brothers or sisters, feel the existence of their younger brothers and sisters, and make children interested in the birth of their younger brothers and sisters.
After the baby is born
After the child is born, the attitude of parents is extremely important to Dabao. In this process, we must also find out Bauer's own situation and his parents' real thoughts.
(1) Let children accept the appearance of Erbao.
"You see my brother was born, isn't it cute? Someone will play with you in the future. "
"My brother is so young, we must take good care of him."
Sometimes we will honestly express our inner thoughts to our children so that they will not be misunderstood. Never hide them.
(2) Communicate on an equal footing and get along like family members.
After Bauer appears, the pattern of a family may change, but we also need to know that Bauer, Dabao and his parents are complete, and the family must never become strangers.
Some parents prefer boys to girls, and they will show disgust for their eldest daughter after giving birth to their sons, which is also very wrong.
In addition, in the process of taking care of Bauer, parents need to consider Dabao's psychological state and communicate with their children more to avoid hurting their psychology.
The child's own psychological endurance is not as strong as we thought, so parents should be prepared before and after Bauer appears.
Discuss with children in advance, then let them get along better with Bauer, and constantly guide and show equal love for Bauer and Dabao. I believe this family will be happier and happier.