First, establish a good consulting relationship and collect relevant information about the parties' help-seeking problems.
(A) to establish a good consulting relationship
The basic condition of effective consultation is that the consultant must maintain a good consulting relationship with the parties. The so-called good consulting relationship means that the consultant makes the client feel understood, valued and cared for with the same, consistent, sincere, caring and supportive attitude, so he trusts the consultant and is willing to open his experience and discuss problems with him. At present, most consulting schools think that consulting relationship will affect the consulting effect, because without good consulting relationship, consulting can only stay on the exchange of superficial information.
At present, some non-professionals misunderstand the consultation, because they don't know that the consultation effect depends on the consultation relationship. They think:
1. Negotiation can make the parties change immediately.
2. As long as the consultant has talked with the client, it will be effective, otherwise the consultant is incompetent.
3. Consultation is a question-and-answer process, and the consultant can quickly understand the problems of the parties and analyze the reasons to help them understand.
The reason for this misunderstanding is that they mistakenly believe that at the beginning of negotiation, the problems of the parties must be solved immediately. They don't know that no matter how capable the counselor is, unless the client wants to, the counselor can't enter the inner world of the client, let alone lead the client to perceive the unknown feelings and thoughts. Therefore, the purpose of the first stage negotiation is not to help the parties solve the problem immediately, but to establish a good negotiation relationship.
How long it takes to establish a good consulting relationship varies according to the characteristics of the parties. What is certain, however, is that without a good negotiation relationship, there will be no long-term negotiation results.
(two) to collect information about the problem of the parties seeking help.
At the beginning of the consultation, the customer will describe his problem. At this time, the consultant must listen attentively to the customer's description, respond to the customer when necessary, and convey his understanding of the customer. In order to collect the information asked by the parties, the relevant information of the parties can be further collected by asking questions when necessary.
Second, in-depth discussions between all parties to explore the root causes of the problem.
When consulting enters the second stage, the consultant has a good consulting relationship with the client, and the consultant can guide the client into the deep inner world and explore the experience that the client does not know.
At this stage, the counselor can guide the client to explore related topics from the information collected in the first stage, and trace the root of the problem from the apparent explicit behavior. Because different consultants have different theoretical frameworks, the direction of exploration is also different. For example, family theory, gestalt therapy, cognitive therapy and behavioral therapy have different explanations of abnormal behavior, so the direction of discussion is naturally different.
Three. Take measures to solve the problem and terminate the consultation:
The purpose of the third-stage consultation is twofold: first, after all parties understand the root cause of the problem, they must make plans and take actions to solve the problem. Second, end their consulting relationship.
As far as the first goal is concerned, in the second stage of the discussion, all parties have understood the root of the problem. Some parties can change their behavior directly from the epiphany in the second stage of exploration, but more parties must draw up plans to change their behavior with the assistance of consultants, so as to leap from epiphany to action and make the results of change concrete in behavior.
Extended data:
Behavioral psychological counseling is based on learning theory and behavioral therapy theory. It holds that people's problem behaviors and symptoms are caused by wrong cognition and study, and advocates that psychological counseling should focus on the current behavior problems of visitors and pay attention to the learning and solution of a special behavior problem in order to promote the change and disappearance of problem behaviors or the acquisition of new behaviors. The founder of behaviorism is Watson, but Pavlov's classical conditioned reflex, Skinner's operating conditioned reflex and Bandura's social learning theory have great influence on psychological counseling.
Pavlov experimented with dogs. When dogs eat, it will cause saliva secretion, which is an unconditional reflex. If you ring the bell for a dog, it won't cause saliva secretion, but if you feed the dog while ringing the bell, the dog will also salivate after hearing the bell several times alone. The stimulus that had nothing to do with saliva secretion-bell-turned into an unconditional stimulus that caused the unconditional reflex of saliva secretion-food signal, and turned into a signal stimulus that caused saliva secretion.
If conditioned reflex is not strengthened and maintained, it will fade. For bad habits, psychological problems, psychosomatic disorders, etc. It is formed by unconscious conditioned reflex, and we can use counter-conditioned stimulus to eliminate and repel them in consultation.