Taking stock of nonverbal behaviors in psychological counseling Generally speaking, the transmission of information between people is mainly achieved through verbal expression and nonverbal behaviors. Human nonverbal behavior is very rich. It expresses more and more accurate contents and emotions than words. It can supplement and modify the content expressed in words, or it can appear independently, representing independent meaning.
Therefore, in psychological counseling, the counselor must not ignore the information conveyed by the nonverbal behavior of the visitors, which may not be obtained from verbal communication. Once it is missed, it is often impossible to accurately understand the inner experience of the visitors, and it is difficult to make an accurate psychological analysis of the visitors and make a correct judgment, thus delaying the best psychological consultation opportunity. Therefore, in psychological counseling, psychological counselors should strengthen the observation of nonverbal behavior of visitors in order to obtain accurate and timely information.
facial expression
Facial expressions are closely related to people's emotions, and a person's inner emotions are often revealed in one way or another. Therefore, in psychological counseling, the observation of facial expressions is often an important means to judge the mood of visitors. For example, when a visitor walks into the consulting room, he may look obviously distressed and depressed. He knew at a glance that he had encountered a problem that he would never understand and was willing to discuss it with the consultant. In the process of consultation, the facial expression of visitors will change many times, and the consultant must be able to observe the change of this expression to guide the progress of the conversation or change the content of the conversation. If the consultant only pays attention to oral communication, he may miss a lot of important information.
How can we get the information conveyed by facial expressions? The most commonly used method is gazing. Counselors can get some important information from the other person's eyes when staring. Generally speaking, when one side listens to the other side's narration, his eyes often look directly at the other side's eyes, and when he speaks, this kind of eye contact will be less than when he listens to the other side. Why do many people avoid looking at each other when they speak, mainly to avoid overlapping topics. If you look at the other person while talking, it means that the other person can interrupt him when he pauses. If he pauses, but doesn't look at each other, it means that his thinking is not broken. This signal means: this is not all I want to say, I am just thinking. ? If the counselor interrupts the visitor's narrative untimely, it will make the visitor unhappy, feel that he is not accepted, and even change the theme of the narrative and interrupt the clue. If during the conversation, the visitor looks away after reading a paragraph, a sentence or a word, it may mean? I'm not sure what I said. .
In consultation, when the counselor explains and explains, the eyes of the visitors may also show different emotional colors such as confusion, complete understanding, sadness, surprise, happiness and concentration; When the counselor's words hit the nail on the head, the visitor's eyes may also stare at the ground for a long time, staring at his hands or feet. Although he didn't make any verbal response, it may reflect his inner struggle and thinking process.
In short, in the process of consultation, visitors' eyes will show different performances as the conversation goes on. Counselors should be good at grasping the psychological changes of visitors in time according to the specific situation in order to obtain accurate information and achieve better consulting effect.
Of course, in the process of consultation, consultants should also be good at listening and speaking with their eyes, which directly affects the effect of consultation. Generally speaking, the position of the counselor and the visitor should be arranged at right angles to avoid direct eye contact between the counselor and the visitor, so as not to make the visitor feel overwhelmed, breathless and speechless. When the consultant is listening to the other party, don't look away at will, which will often make the visitors think that the consultant is not listening to himself, thus creating the idea of not being trusted. The counselor's eyes should generally move within the mouth, head and cheeks of the other person, and his expression should be relaxed. This can give the other person a very focused and polite feeling.
Body movement
When confirming the emotional characteristics of visitors, facial expression is the first place to pay attention to, and the movement of body and limbs also plays an important role in information exchange. Exercise is a way for people to communicate by changing their posture.
Body movements include gestures and body postures. The use of gestures is related to body posture. With the help of gestures and postures, people can express various emotions such as surprise, distress, anger, anxiety and happiness. A depressed person may have a slight hunchback besides dim eyes and tight brows, his hands are constantly doing monotonous movements, and his body movements are relatively slow, which seems to require great efforts; An anxious visitor often moves his hands and feet quickly and endlessly, and his hands may be shaking constantly; A shrinking person always keeps his hands in close contact with his body and his head down? As some researchers have pointed out, the posture of the body, the tension and relaxation of the muscle system, and the movement of the head, hands and feet can all be regarded as a kind of communication information with signal significance.
Body movements not only show the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of the parties at this moment, but also reflect a person's psychological state to some extent. At the same time, a person's psychological state also affects his actions and behaviors: a person who always feels unhappy will frown all day and frown becomes his fixed expression; An aggressive and nosy person is always nosing around; A gentle and kind person often smiles. In addition, people can change their mentality by changing their body posture or movements. Some scholars believe that when people are depressed, as long as they hold their heads high, they can change themselves from depression to confidence.
In consultation, more confident people can often face up to the consultant for a long time; People who lack self-confidence and are not practical in their hearts are the opposite; Confident people blink less and have less nonverbal behaviors that represent negative meanings.
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