Many people think that psychological counseling is a conversation process, but is the real psychological counseling process really as simple as talking? Psychological counseling is really more than just talk. I prepared it for you. I hope it can help you.
Resume study after dropping out of school
I dropped out of school for a year because I was pregnant and gave birth to a child. After dropping out of school, it was my first class. Book air tickets and hotels in advance and have a good vacation, just to make up this compulsory course during the eleventh period.
Now that I have gone back to work, time seems tight. I only previewed a small part of the book "Problem-solving Consulting Mode" after the group consultation this year 1 month, and I have almost forgotten the previewed content.
I arrived in Beijing early on September 30, and slept for several hours after dinner because of the fatigue of the journey. Then I got up to preview the textbook, and my initial impression of this course still stayed. I only know that this course is very important, very important and contains a lot of gold. If you miss it, you will regret it (for life), and you probably know that this course teaches you how to consult according to the formal process, and there will be a set of processes. If you follow this process, there will be no big deviation.
However, I don't know the specific content of the class and the unexpected gains that may occur in it, because after all, different classes (I am a student of the first Shenzhen class of 1879 plan) may have different experiences in different places.
The next day (65438+1 October1), I came to the classroom, saw the handouts on the table, and previewed them quickly half an hour before class, so I probably got a preliminary understanding of the class content.
(2) actual combat drills, listening to teachings, and enlightening.
The first practical exercise:
On the afternoon of the second day of class (65438+10.2), Mr. Liao gave us the opportunity to do exercises. The exercises were about concentration and scene composition. Even the chair angles of consultants and speakers have professional requirements, which makes people's brains wide open.
First, some students take the initiative to play the speaker? A problem student and other students volunteered to raise their hands to practice the counselor. The progress of the first consultant was not smooth, and the second consultant was only slightly better. When I arrived at the third consultant, I took the initiative to raise my hand.
After taking office, I was a little uneasy, but I quickly adjusted my state, my eyes were firm, my manner was natural, and I quickly devoted myself to consulting. At first, I introduced myself, then I built a basic scene, and then I was anxious to lock the speaker's question and threw out a series of questions. In fact, the feeling at that time was that the other party felt relaxed at first, but as I asked questions one by one, the other party seemed to resist and was not so willing to continue. I want to keep it, but the time is up and I have to leave.
After the drill, first, the bottom students commented, and then the teacher Liao commented, and mentioned some points that should be paid attention to as a consultant, such as:
1, the counselor relaxes, which will make the interviewer relax; The consultant's nervousness will make the speaker nervous;
2. The consultant should show a professional and serious expression, but not serious;
3. What's the problem? Visitors themselves know, but consultants don't, so let visitors lead the way.
4. A truly powerful consultant should not guess visitors. Visitors will talk about important things. If they talk too much, we'll talk again.
Teacher Liao also commented on my practice on the stage, letting me know that at the beginning of the consultation, what I did didn't need introduction and preaching. Now that the speaker has come, he will know where this is and who you are.
Besides, I also know that when building a scene, I should pay special attention to what I say and don't tell the speaker? Can solve your problem? , but to say? Maybe after our discussion, you can relieve your troubles or find a solution to the problem? Teacher Liao's famous words can be quoted here. Our job is to help him clean up, not solve it. ? .
The second practical exercise:
Then the second speaker is a man who is troubled by the relationship between husband and wife (played by a female classmate who is a man consultant). At the beginning of the consultation, it is obvious that the interviewer is wandering around in the same place, and so are the first consultant and the second consultant during the practice. When Mr. Liao asked if there was a third student who wanted to continue as a consultant, no one raised his hand (at that time, he wanted to raise his hand, but after self-evaluation, he found it too difficult and decided to give up), and then Mr. Liao personally went into battle to prepare for the next consultation.
Although Mr. Liao went into battle in person, the speaker still seemed to beat around the bush, saying something, going back, saying something, and going back. Many of our classmates sitting at the bottom can't stand it. They think the speaker is too difficult, and a question goes round and round, always unable to get out. We are a little restless at the bottom, and some students have been unable to hold back. Now, I'm sitting at the bottom, and the question in my mind is, what should I do when I encounter such a case? Because, at my present level, I don't think I can handle such a complicated case, and I'm impatient, and maybe I won't be patient in the end. After careful observation, I found that Mr. Liao on the stage was still poised and talked to the speaker in an orderly way, walking once, twice and three times? Finally, I don't know when I actually took the speaker out of that circle and let the speaker see his own problems. Then, because of the time, the negotiation came to an end temporarily.
Summary of practical exercises:
The second case is obviously not as easy as the first case. Teacher Liao asked us what it was like to sit at the bottom and watch the speaker beat around the bush. A classmate at the bottom said generously, do you really have the impulse to rush to the stage and beat up the speaker? After that, we burst into laughter. Teacher Liao joked:? It is the counselor's anti-empathy to rush up and beat up the speaker. ? Then, Teacher Liao said something that impressed me deeply. Be patient, measured and tolerant; It is difficult for a person to walk there, but even if it is difficult, don't help him, let him walk by himself. If the case is difficult to talk about, the counselor should try not to ask, because if he does, he may not be able to talk about it; Sometimes we can't say it, maybe it's the visitor's problem (the behavior pattern of the visitor can wait and let the visitor say it himself)
Which teacher Liao mentioned? Waiting, forbearance, companionship and reflection are the most important topics today (10.02)? .
Yes, we sit at the bottom, just feeling impatient or unable to hold back, but we never thought that it would be difficult for us as speakers to get out of our own circles. We only saw the superficial part of ourselves, but Mr. Liao saw the deep part of the visitor's heart, which made me worship Mr. Liao again with capital letters.
(3) Basic training
The consultant enters the visitor's frame of reference;
In the next few days, we did some exercises one after another, such as a brief description of semantics, emotional reflection and summary. In this exercise, I was deeply impressed by an example. Teacher Liao gave her own example and talked about her work and family. Let's briefly describe it and reflect on it emotionally. The staff suggested staying in Beijing for a rest during the break, but for the sake of my family, I went home to Tainan and went to Beijing for classes a few days later.
Several students raised their hands, without exception, focused on Mr. Liao's concern for his family, without mentioning or ignoring Mr. Liao's own feelings. Teacher Liao said humorously at that time. It seems that everyone cares more about my family and pouts at us like children. They don't even care about me. We were amused by Mr. Liao's humor.
After laughing, I was lost in thought: why didn't you mention the key points and concerns of the visitors? Is it sometimes that we, as consultants, put our concerns in the wrong place and have no idea at all? Later, Teacher Liao answered my doubts in one sentence. Your subjectivity will enlarge what you care about and narrow the description of the visitor himself? .
This reminds me of what Teacher Liao said. As a consultant, you should know the direction of the other person's perception and attention, not drag the other person over. It's hard to pull each other over. Your job is not to show visitors what you see. Instead, the consultant should enter the visitor's frame of reference and see what he sees.
Teacher Liao reminded us: when consulting, don't try to solve the problem directly from the beginning (although it will eventually be solved), but help him solve the problem slowly. You should learn not to interfere, think it over and see what will happen to him. Follow him, walk behind him, and do nothing (the core point raised by Laozi is also my favorite). It is not doing nothing, but letting him do it, let him face it, bear it by himself, and let him fully show it. ? Teacher Liao also stressed? Do nothing, is it important that the front is empty? Only in this way can professional technology be better applied in the future. ?
How to help visitors make development action plans;
In the steps of "problem-solving consultation mode": help seekers invest and explore? Help people who ask for help understand themselves? Explore ways to solve problems? Development action plan? One step that impressed me was the development of an action plan. Many people know how to do it, but they can't, so the consultant should help the visitor to make an action plan suitable for him.
At this point, I mentioned an example of giving up the original job because the child wanted to find a job when he grew up because he got married and had children. The consultant should not only help her list the specific steps, but also help her complete the details in the specific steps. For example, her first step is to list at least 30 organizations or employers, so you need to let her know how to collect 30 lists, such as the recruitment column in the newspaper (equivalent to our recruitment column), such as the list of big companies and so on. Even the question of where the recruitment column of the newspaper is published, you need to help her check it with thinking steps. For example, when looking for a job, should your previous salary be lower or higher, which is what you learned here (do you know the answer to this question, I know)?
This is a course to eliminate worries:
In addition, in the following, when encountering some special circumstances, such as the need to express their negative emotional feelings in a self-affirming way, the consultant should use the participation model method to explain related concepts, demonstrate how to do it, use case practice, give feedback and actually implement it (I also admire it in Capital).
Before attending this class, as a psychological counselor, I often thought: isn't psychological counseling just talk? It may not be effective after it is said, and the effect may not last. After talking, can you really help visitors? I even doubt myself, let alone the visitors.
(d) Persuading, shocking and polishing basic skills are the primary skills.
After this course, I have been completely convinced by psychological counseling, and I have achieved scientific, professional, rigorous, exquisite, elegant and calm (1879? Twelve-character policy? ) I am deeply shocked. It turns out that psychological counseling is really more than just talking about it.
As far as the specific steps are concerned, there are many details and processes in the stage of establishing the consultation relationship: first, the consultant should focus on setting up the scene, then the theme, viewpoint, semantic brief description, emotional reflection and empathy. 9 times, help visitors sort out their problems, and then challenge, face to face, and personalize to help visitors understand themselves? The above are the basic skills, and also the most used skills in consultation. With the experience and demonstration in class, I really want to put down the genre and technology first, and settle down to learn the most basic kung fu used by all genres first.
A word from teacher Liao? Only when you dare to face difficulties and live vigorously can you have the right to challenge others? , also deeply touched me. Yes, as a consultant, do you dare to face the difficulties yourself? Are you alive by yourself? I think this may also be a question that consultants should deeply reflect and think about.
I hope that after many years, I can become a lecturer who brings enlightenment, gains and touches to others, and I am also a respected senior psychological counselor. Come on! ! !
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