The general situation is that a junior high school student can't continue his studies because of the pressure brought by the family education model, so he chooses to drop out of school and seek psychological counseling.
During the consultation, the patient felt annoyed and anxious because of the interruption of his studies. The counselor's action is to help the case understand and support his decision, that is, to choose to pay attention to his inner feelings at this time, instead of enduring or ignoring the symptoms that have appeared and continuing to learn in pain.
raise a question
This makes a new psychological counselor very confused: it is said that psychological counselors should remain value neutral, but in this case, psychological counselors' values are obviously that "inner feelings and mental health" are more important than "external learning", at least at this stage, so psychological counselors have not stayed in the position of value neutrality.
The deeper problem is coming. Psychological counselors become psychological counselors because their internal value system must think that mental health is very important. Then, in their work with visitors, this value has been used as a hidden premise in the background. No matter how the counselor maintains value neutrality in the life events presented by the visitors, the values oriented to "mental health" have existed from the beginning.
The counselor asked again, "So as psychologists, where do we need to lead our visitors?" What kind of values or orientations can really lead to mental health? Do we really have this ability? "
Good question.
I say this is a "good question" because many psychological counselors have asked this question, which proves that it is everyone's problem, but there is no such problem and it is not a problem.
Whose values are these?
If the counselor thinks that we can guide the values of visitors, then we really think highly of ourselves. If an industry or individual can guide people's value orientation, it means that there is an absolutely correct collective value orientation, but in fact, the absolutely correct value orientation that conforms to all people does not exist at the psychological level.
So how to answer the fact that the value tendency of "paying attention to the inside" and "mental health" has been operating as a prerequisite in psychological counseling from the beginning?
At this time, the psychological counselor needs to have a clear picture, see the visitors and see himself, and distinguish his value tendency from the visitors.
What makes this man sit opposite you at this time?
Is it a consultant? Of course not!
It is the visitor himself!
It was the visitor who made the present decision himself and went to the psychological counseling room to seek professional help in the psychological field at this time. Slogans such as "paying attention to the inside" and "mental health" are clear or unclear in the surface consciousness of visitors, but it is he who makes decisions and actions here and now. He didn't go anywhere else, but he came to you as a counselor.
Therefore, it is not the counselor's values that play a role in the emergence of psychological counseling services from beginning to end. Psychological counseling is only put here as an option. Only when visitors come here to pick them up can counselors form a working alliance and begin to cooperate with them.
Who is guiding?
So, where should we lead visitors in the work alliance? That is, the second wave of questions at the beginning of the article, "What kind of values or orientations can really lead visitors to mental health?"
What consultants have to do is to clean their own pipes as much as possible. The cleaner we are as a pipeline, the less we invest in our own projection and defense. Facing the pressure of collective consciousness brought by visitors, it is easier to calm down and clearly reflect the true self that visitors want to express.
Visitors have their own way of returning to their true selves, but they are covered up by layers of old patterns and collective consciousness. The road is covered with so many sand roadblocks that he can't even tell which is sand and which is part of the road. He expresses his feelings and thoughts in front of the counselor, who is more transparent and professionally trained, and traces the direction bit by bit through the expressions of the visitors.
Understand the visitor's words, and then use more and more clear language to help him see and confirm which are the gravel roadblocks on the road to self-return, and which are the masonry pedals of this road-this is what the consultant is doing-the road and direction are all the visitors' own.
Where does it lead?
That's even more mysterious. For some dependent personalities, what is the direction of visitors without the "authoritative guidance" of psychological counselors? You're not going to bring yourself into the ditch, are you?
Here I want to talk about people's spiritual attributes. That is, whether there is a universal ultimate goal within human beings, which leads people to the happiest place inside and creates spiritual and material prosperity outside the world from inner joy.
Abundance is not an absolute quantitative comparison, but a feeling of fullness. This "no shortage" experience is manifested in people's life, interpersonal relationship, career, entertainment, wealth and other aspects. No matter how the surrounding changes, no matter how others evaluate it, there is always an assured self standing firmly in the center, not worrying about gains and losses, not looking around, not stealing outsiders' eyes, or even stealing worldly success or failure. Even if I lose everything, I will never lose that "I".
The original you, who created everything you experienced before and after, are "immortal, unclean, neither increasing nor decreasing", pure but not dirty, and will not change because of the secular sea. Different from the past, this time you know, you know the existence of this "you", you can feel this existence, so you enjoy some kind of possession, that is, I have myself.
Always like this. Every time I write an article, I know what I want to say, but I don't fully know it. As long as I follow my heart, I can always go back to the central source and get information from the original source.
Primitive self
In psychological counseling, it is everyone's "true self" and our "final destination" to guide visitors forward, show their true self and return to the counselor. This "original" is like the center point of a sphere, and the whole sphere is composed of countless straight lines passing through this center point. From the surface of the sphere, life experiences and patterns are very different, but from the central point, the countless directions pointed by these straight lines only represent different experiences, different forms of expression and different regression paths, and the central self is always there.
Can I try in any direction when we know that the real self is the center? I can show it in any way. The answer is, of course! This is the freedom and pluralism that people show after returning to themselves, not being bound by collective consciousness, and living into their true selves.
This is the ultimate goal of psychological counseling, so that everyone can live as themselves.
The process of psychological counseling is to follow the visitor along his direction to return to the center. It's not a counselor's road, but a visitor's own road among thousands of roads.
Division of labor in alliance
Back to the beginning of the article, I said, "this is not a problem." Do you understand now? It is never the counselor who is guiding, but the visitors themselves who are drawing the road. The counselor took a clearer picture for him with a flashlight and stayed with him for a while. As for where to go, when to stop and when to start, it is not for the counselor to decide, and the inner self of the visitor will dominate everything.
Cleaning up the "pipeline" and bravely walking on the road of self-regression is what a professional psychological counselor should and can do.
Who are you?
Finally, do people really have this central point? Just ask yourself if you feel, like it or not, whether you are comfortable or not, and you will know that you have a "self" that belongs to you only, and this "self" is the center.