If what I want before I get married is to get along well with my mother-in-law, I treat her as filial as my own mother. She thinks that my filial piety will treat me as a daughter, and my heart will change, and my reason will change. This is a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
However, after many years of marriage, I have long lost this idea, and even when I was very naive, I took it for granted.
Now, my expectation for my mother-in-law is not to make trouble, not to make trouble, not to do anything, and just to live my own life. I don't care whether my mother-in-law wants to help take care of the children, pay for a nanny or buy gifts for the children. I just want to make her happy.
This is my ideal mother-in-law relationship now.
However, imagination is always beautiful, and reality is properly used to hit the face.
Because of the disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, many people want to divorce and stay away from this family when they are angry. Many girls are even given action. The reason they gave was that her mother-in-law was too much to live.
However, is this really the case? Or is there really only one truth?
Is divorce really just because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
They are all good people, but the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is still not harmonious! There is an aunt in my mother's house downstairs. She has been in a village since she was a child and has always had a good relationship with my mother.
Before the demolition, her son married a daughter-in-law from other places.
My daughter-in-law comes from a relatively poor city in our province. She met her son when she came to work in our city. They got along well and got married.
When I got married, my aunt was worried that her daughter-in-law's family was too poor, and the lion would ask for a high price bride price. However, what everyone didn't expect was that her daughter-in-law's family didn't ask for a bride price or even a red envelope. She just asked for six vacuum-packed snacks as sacrifices when she was worshipping God.
This makes my aunt very happy. It's great that she bought six kinds of snacks for less than 50 yuan and married her daughter-in-law.
After the daughter-in-law passed the door, she soon became a model for the daughter-in-law in the village.
The girl is diligent and willing to work, and she still has a job in her eyes. When you come back from work, you don't have to talk about housework. It's all done.
Cooking is a good cook I can prepare more than a dozen dishes for my guests in an hour, and the taste is still very good.
It stands to reason that such a daughter-in-law should be liked by her husband's family.
However, as my mother-in-law's aunt, I don't know why, but I always get along with my daughter-in-law.
The contradiction between the two people is also getting bigger and bigger in the process of getting along.
In the fifth month after the daughter-in-law gave birth to her eldest daughter, the whole village was demolished. After the transition period of half a year, she got her first house.
The son and daughter-in-law looked at the daughter who began to learn to walk and began to plan for the future. They discussed with their aunt not to buy a second house, but to take the money directly and add the savings at home to buy a school district in our city.
However, my aunt is reluctant to part with the money. She thinks that when children go to school, they stop going to school. Why bother to vacate the school district?
Besides, now that the family has enough money to live in this house, there is no need to take another house. It is the right way to save money and provide for the future.
Therefore, she is determined not to buy a house or take another house.
By this time, although the daughter-in-law and she have opinions, they are not big.
However, young people's ideas are really different from those of old people. Since the old people don't want to take money out to buy a house, the daughter-in-law and son discuss it and make money to buy it themselves. So, after discussion, he decided to let his son go abroad to work as a laborer for two years, so that the money he earned would be higher.
The daughter will ask her aunt to take care of her. After the daughter was born, the daughter-in-law resigned and came back to take care of the children. In order to save the school district, she had to go back to work to earn money.
However, my aunt won't!
Aunt feels that her daughter-in-law is unreliable and her money is not as good as her own, so she would rather drive an elevator at the construction site than take her children to work.
Moreover, she also blames her daughter-in-law for buying a house and letting her son go abroad. She thinks that her daughter-in-law doesn't earn a penny at home and spends money indiscriminately. Even the daughter-in-law bought some eggs for her daughter as a complementary food, and called her the black sheep.
As a result, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law reached its peak. The two sides just quarreled a few words before, but now they are in a state of war and quarrel at any time.
In addition, the husband and wife are separated, and international long distance is very expensive. After the daughter-in-law was wronged, she could not complain to her husband, which made her feel wronged and finally filed for divorce.
Although the son was unwilling in all aspects, he came back to go through the formalities, while the daughter was taken away by his wife.
For a time, the family fell apart. Moreover, the relationship between the son and aunt has also cracked. There is almost nothing to say between the daughter-in-law and the aunt now, but as long as you open your mouth, you must shout.
Two months later, the daughter-in-law and son chose to remarry, agreeing that it was inevitable to buy a house and move out no matter how her aunt stopped them.
However, now, the two sides still live together. Aunt drives the elevator every day, daughter-in-law takes care of the baby at home, and son will come back soon after going abroad. There seems to be hope at home, but there seems to be no hope at all.
Because the daughter-in-law has little communication with the aunt, and the aunt always feels that the daughter-in-law has bewitched her son and turned him against her, everyone will say that the daughter-in-law is not good.
What happened in her family is a typical case in our eyes.
Are there any bad guys in here?
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Aunt is not bad in nature, but a little snobbish and selfish.
Is the daughter-in-law ungrateful? No, a few years before my daughter-in-law got married, she really treated her husband's grandparents sincerely, let alone her in-laws.
But that's life.
At the beginning, the daughter-in-law chose to divorce because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Many people think this is a pity. After all, the relationship with her husband is not broken. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can't stand it. Anyway, they bought a house and will not live together in the future.
However, the words of persuasion are simple, but the parties are hard to bear. After all, there are only two people in the family, she and her mother-in-law. They really don't have the financial ability to support themselves. They have no right to speak, and most of them can only play dumb and calm down. After all, the elders can go out and scold the streets because of the difference between generations and people's quality, but the younger generation can't deal with them like you.
The husband is thousands of miles away and wants to communicate, but there is nothing he can do. Occasionally, he can't stand in her position and uphold justice for her.
Only the daughter-in-law knows the grievances.
If her divorce behavior is an impulsive decision, then her performance after remarriage must be the experience and lessons brought to her after divorce.
My son hasn't called his aunt for a long time because of the breakdown of this marriage. Even if his aunt calls, he is perfunctory.
My aunt hasn't figured out the crux of the problem yet. She thought her daughter-in-law was just a little girl who followed her.
The relationship between husband and wife under the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is mostly not much better.
When many people divorce, they will attribute the divorce to the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The daughter-in-law thinks that her mother-in-law is not good enough, too vicious and too snobbish, which leads to the failure of her marriage.
My mother-in-law thinks that her daughter-in-law is not good enough, and marrying such a daughter-in-law really doesn't deserve her son's charm.
But they ignore that the reason for divorce is often that the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious enough, because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
You see online, many girls talk about their mother-in-law, and a bunch of people comment: That's it, don't divorce, keep the New Year?
But the girl said: My husband is very kind to me. If he hadn't been kind to me, he would have left long ago.
It can be seen that if there is no problem with the relationship between husband and wife, most girls can still tolerate the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The essence of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law game is actually the game between husband and wife!
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the relationship between husband and wife. Some time ago, my good friend was divorced because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
During that time, my friend had moved away from home, rented a house outside, and the divorce agreement was ready, just waiting for her husband to sign it.
However, her husband woke up at the last minute of signing.
He woke up because his divorced colleague and good friend in the office had a conversation with him.
Everyone calls this colleague Brother Qiang.
Brother Qiang's ex-wife is very beautiful and has a good figure. She is recognized as a beautiful family in the office.
Many male colleagues envy Brother Qiang.
Brother Qiang is also proud of having a beautiful wife, and the relationship between husband and wife is also very harmonious.
However, their relationship between husband and wife entered a turning point, that is, his mother took care of his wife after she became pregnant.
His mother is a talkative person, who is a little stingy and controlling.
How controlling is she? For example, Brother Qiang took her to the supermarket. On the way, he happened to meet a male colleague in the same office and took the children to the supermarket.
When two people meet, they must greet each other, introduce their families and exchange greetings.
But Qiangge's mother refused to force Qiangge to say hello to others, and even directly stopped Qiangge. The scene was very embarrassing.
It is because of this incident that all colleagues in the office think that Brother Qiang has a mother who is not on the road.
The reason given by his mother was that his colleague came with the child and said hello. If something happens, they will buy things for their children, which is a waste of money!
It is such an old lady who makes a mess of the relationship between young couples.
Brother Qiang was overwhelmed by the storm of his mother-in-law at home. He felt that the old lady was his mother. It is such a temper that he can't dissuade him, but he can only persuade his wife to be patient again and again.
Finally, three months after the child was born, my wife filed for divorce. She didn't want children or money, just wanted to get a divorce quickly.
Brother Qiang agreed when he saw that his wife insisted on divorce.
Life after divorce is not easy. The child is taken care of by the old lady, and he has to work to earn money to support the child.
Even if his heart is full of thoughts about his wife, he feels sorry for his wife and regrets that he never stood up and persuaded his mother for his wife, but this is irreparable.
It's not that he didn't let his wife remarry, but her wife said, "I've had enough of your family!" " "After all, I can't save my wife's heart.
And he is getting more and more decadent. He used to pay great attention to his image, but he was too lazy to shave or dress up. For him, his heart is dead.
Even so, when he got home, he had to endure his mother's endless abuse of his wife, who was a heartless woman and must have hooked up with another man with ulterior motives.
At the same time, he abused his woman who was unable to control himself and let her take care of her children when she was old.
He said: "I know what kind of person my mother is, but I still feel that my wife must put up with my mother, but even I can't stand it sometimes." I have never helped her. No wonder she left me. "
It was this passage that made my friend's husband suddenly regret it and asked his friend to give him another chance to watch his performance.
From then on, he was able to shoulder the bridge responsibility between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which made friends very grateful to Qiang Ge for persuading her husband with his own experience.
In fact, in the end, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law hurts not only the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also the relationship between young couples.
We often say that as a husband, we should fulfill our husband's responsibilities, as a son, we should fulfill our son's obligations, and as a connector between the two sides, we should make a good connection.
This is the truth, but it is very difficult to do it, and it is even more difficult to do it well.
After all, people are biased and full of profit-seeking. Dealing fairly with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a great test for men.
What's more, housework has always been said to be reasonable, and both sides dragged him to complain and forced him to make a statement. After he is fed up with splints, he will inevitably choose to break through.
For your mother and your wife.
If you break out with your mother, she won't hate her son, but she will hate her daughter-in-law more; If you break out with your wife, the relationship between husband and wife will not be harmonious.
So, you see, the seriousness of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lies in this.
Many girls said: If my mother-in-law hadn't picked up things in the back, my husband and I would be fine.
The problem has been pointed out sharply, but the girls don't know it.
The key point of divorce choice is not the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but the relationship between husband and wife.
Husband and wife, time and harmony; If the husband and wife are not in harmony, they will be divided.
It's that simple.
When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are in conflict, the status of the middleman is extremely important!
Finally, it is easy for many people to ignore the relationship between husband and wife in family relations.
They will find out all kinds of reasons for the disagreement between husband and wife, and what the mother-in-law is stirring up; The family he came from made him not understand love; In-laws are so used to it. Wait, wait, wait.
However, they forget that as a husband, he should be a mature man himself and should have mature considerations when doing things.
The relationship between husband and wife is a matter for two people.
If a mature man, instigated by his mother-in-law, can't tell right from wrong, but just listens to the instigation and makes trouble with you, then this man must not be a person who can tell right from wrong.
This is what I often tell girls. Finding a husband is never that simple. After all, how many storms have you experienced in your life, and how do you spend it when you meet such a man?
And those girls who are trapped by such a marriage should understand that the external is always external, and this talent is the most important. The men they choose, either transform themselves, or tolerate themselves, or divorce themselves, there is no other way to go.
This is what I always say: in marriage, learn to control your own man and don't give others an opportunity.
This other person, not only other women, but also those mothers-in-law who like to make trouble without reason!
# Emotional PK Taiwan # # The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is tense. Do you want to divorce #