Li Nainai is an old man. He helps his son take care of his children. Although his family is ordinary, he is kind-hearted and good at cooking. My son and daughter-in-law work in big cities, and they are usually under great pressure. After having children, Li Nainai loved the young couple very much, so he offered to take care of them and cook for the young couple to improve their lives.
When I first came here, it was really nice here. My son and daughter-in-law are very filial, but after a long time, the contradiction comes out: Li Nainai has become a free nanny at home, not only taking the baby to cook, but also washing clothes and cleaning, which makes her back ache every day. Not only that, the young couple not only don't understand Li Nainai's efforts, but also often find fault with her.
After a long time, Li Nainai was heartbroken. The child went to kindergarten, returned to his hometown with his luggage, and had a hard time with his son and daughter-in-law.
Many people always leave their children to the elderly, thinking that the elderly should take care of their children! As we all know, children are the responsibility and obligation of parents, and it is mutual affection for the elderly to help, and there is nothing wrong with not helping. The old man has worked hard all his life and can finally retire and enjoy his old age. If it wasn't for his children, why did he leave his hometown and come to this strange city to look after them?
For them, the most terrible thing is not to pay, but to pay but not get the respect they deserve, but to be complained by their children.
Friends who take care of children know that it is very hard to take care of children, especially after walking and jumping, they are very tired almost every day, and their backs are sore and backache. Young people are still like this, why bother to be an old man?
A few years ago, my son was still young, and I often took him to the park to play. Every time I meet a white-haired uncle, about seventy or eighty years old, who bends badly and carries a child over one year old. I often see him, so I will talk to him. Once I asked him, uncle, aren't you tired of taking care of children at your age? Uncle smiled and said, no, I could carry 2 sacks of peanuts when I was a child. What's so tiring about this?
How can you not be tired? I can only give up!
A casual search on the internet will lead to many contradictory topics between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It is a good thing for the elderly to take care of their children. Why are there contradictions? Don't all young people know how to be grateful?
In fact, the contradiction between the old and the young is mainly due to the different concepts and habits of the two generations.
My mother and I have different parenting concepts. My mother thinks that she has given birth to two children and brought up her grandchildren, so she has enough parenting experience, so when taking care of the baby, she often follows her old experience, such as bathing the newborn. My mother thinks that the newborn is too delicate to take a bath, so she deliberately hides the bath I prepared; The baby eats complementary food, and my mother likes to chew rice in her mouth and feed it to her children, because she always does. ...
My mother and I have too many differences in taking care of the baby. We quarrel almost every day, but we don't hold grudges. Might as well quarrel with each other. If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were so noisy, they would have been stiff.
Moreover, the habits of young people and old people are different. Old people like to get up early, while young people like to stay in bed; Old people are frugal, young people like to eat and drink, and spend money lavishly ... Some old people always meddle in their children, which is also the main reason for many contradictions.
In fact, the main reason for the contradiction between the old and the young is distance. As the old saying goes, "distance produces beauty", but if you are far away, you won't quarrel every day because of trivial things.
So young people try not to live with old people after marriage. If you need the help of the elderly to take care of the baby, or if the elderly are unwell and have to live together, you must formulate three rules to stifle the contradiction in the cradle.
Living together, how to avoid the contradiction between young people and old people?
1, young people should know how to be grateful and don't be shopkeepers of cutting.
Young people may be grateful when they first come home to help with the baby, but after a long time, they may become accustomed to taking the baby for granted, and even increase the workload of the elderly, such as asking them to wash clothes, cook and clean up, and see the elderly when they are in a bad mood.
In this regard, old people can make good arrangements with young people in advance, such as taking care of the baby, not cooking or doing housework, sleeping with their parents at night, and taking care of themselves on weekends and Saturdays. Old people need time to do what they like.
Many elderly people are more worried about their children, and may contract three meals and sanitation at home, mainly depending on their own choices.
2. Learn scientific parenting knowledge with the elderly.
Old people are old and have poor ability to accept new knowledge, but this does not mean that they can't accept new knowledge, just need the help of young people. While taking care of the baby, young people can point out what the old man did wrong, and then learn scientific parenting knowledge with the old man.
Some old people are stubborn, so young people should not worry. They can consult doctors/experts with the elderly, and they trust experts more.
3. Communicate in advance and understand each other.
Living with the elderly, differences are inevitable, but as long as we can calmly deal with each other and communicate with each other, the problem will be solved soon.
There are contradictions that are not terrible. The terrible thing is the lack of communication, which makes misunderstandings and contradictions more and more serious, affecting the feelings of husband and wife, parent-child relationship and family harmony.
The pictures in this article are all from the network, so delete them.