1. Pride. All the members feel warm because they belong to the dormitory. Members feel that they can get along well with other members, understand each other, trust and support each other. 3. Self-esteem and self-affirmation. In the dormitory, members can maintain their self-esteem and their own personality. 4. A sense of security. In the dormitory, members feel protected and supported. 5. sense of responsibility. Members have a conscious sense of internal responsibility and are afraid of damaging and destroying collective norms because of their own actions. Second, when the interpersonal relationship in the dormitory is not * * *, you can adjust your emotions in the following ways: 1, correct your mentality, cherish the friendship between classmates, face up to and learn to deal with interpersonal problems around you, and don't blame each other, blame and worry when there are no * * notes in the dormitory life. My purpose is to deal with the problem well, not to make it worse, so at this point, you can think from another angle. It's time for me to handle my own affairs independently, which is part of my growth. I should face it bravely and peacefully and let this note disappear as soon as possible. 2. We can discuss with each other and formulate some necessary systems to mobilize everyone to care about the public welfare undertakings in the dormitory. As long as most people support it, things will get better. Don't always let a person talk about a person, which will make him (her) feel very passive and stressed. Dormitory is a place where everyone lives together. We should work together to create a good atmosphere. 3. Put yourself in others' shoes and be tolerant of others. Everyone lives in the same dormitory. In the long study life, students may disagree, quarrel and have friction. At this time, calm down and wait for the resentment or anger to subside before dealing with it. In particular, learn to look at problems from multiple angles, in which considering problems from the perspective of others can especially solve conflicts. 4. Abandon the "idealized" state. Contemporary college students' evaluation and expectation of interpersonal relationships often show an "idealized" psychological tendency, that is, they imagine interpersonal relationships too well and expect too much from others. However, people often encounter "interpersonal reefs" in real life. At this time, if you cling to an idealized state, it is easy to bring yourself psychological frustration. Therefore, in interpersonal communication, we should admit contradictions, attach importance to reality, treat and deal with interpersonal problems with a peaceful attitude, and keep our emotions in balance! Third, the dormitory relationship is the most basic interpersonal relationship in the university stage and the most basic unit of daily activities. It is very important to live in a dormitory and have a good relationship with dormitory members. Harmonious relationship and good mood are not only beneficial to study, but also to physical and mental health. On the other hand, if the relationship is not harmonious or even tense, it will cast a shadow over life and bring a series of negative effects. So, how can we handle the dormitory relationship? 1. Work and rest with roommates in a unified way, and give tolerance and understanding in daily life. There are three or four people living in a dormitory, or five or six people or even more, so it is appropriate to adjust with a unified schedule. Only when we coordinate and abide by * * * can we reduce disputes, eliminate friction and maintain normal life order. If you are a "night owl", you go to bed very late at night and wait until all the dormitory members are asleep before washing and sleeping, which will easily wake others up and affect their rest. Over time, you will arouse the resentment of your roommates. Therefore, all members of the dormitory should try to unify their living time and reduce the gap between work and rest. If something really happens, members who get up early or go to bed late should also try to reduce the influence of sound and light on their roommates. 2. Don't form a "clique" in the dormitory, treat everyone equally, don't favor one over the other, make friends with some people and alienate others. Some people like to be close to the dormitory. They always whisper to the same person. No matter what they do, they come in and out with one person. It's easy to make other members of the dormitory unhappy and think that you disdain to associate with them. As a result, you two may have a good relationship, but you have alienated others. This is not conducive to the establishment of * * * dormitory relationship, not worth the candle. We are not opposed to the establishment of profound friendship, but we must never sacrifice the width and breadth of friendship. Don't invade your roommate's privacy. Everyone has his own secrets and enough curiosity. We shouldn't try our best to explore the privacy of roommates. When the other party turns a field into privacy, it has a special sensitivity to this field, and any topic that tries to break into this field is not welcome. It is especially important to note that you must not rummage through your roommate's clothes without his consent. Pay special attention to this problem, don't just think you are an acquaintance and ignore the details. In addition, sharing a dormitory, sometimes it is inevitable to know some privacy of roommates. We should also keep our mouths shut and tell others that this is not only disrespectful to our roommates, but also immoral. The above aspects must be done seriously, otherwise it will inevitably offend roommates. 4. Actively participating in dormitory group activities is not only an activity, but also an important form of connecting feelings between roommates, so we should actively participate in cooperation. Don't naively treat group activities as a boring move that costs money and effort, and show disdain. In fact, they are all emotional inputs and indispensable life experiences. Roommates decide what to do together, and we should respect their choices. If you really can't attend, you can put forward your own ideas and opinions. Don't reluctantly participate, but let your roommates feel that you are dealing with things. Don't flatly refuse to hurt their interest. It can be said that the existence and quantity of collective activities also reflect the unity of this dormitory from one side. If you don't take part in such activities often, you will appear more or less unsociable. 5. Give care to others, help them when they are in trouble, and ask for good interpersonal relationships when they have something to do, on the premise of helping each other. You should have a good sense of cooperation in the dormitory. When others are making the bed, you should think about whether this kind of thing needs help. Someone is ill. Would you like to go to the canteen to help him buy food? Mutual assistance is indeed indispensable, because it is difficult for people to live independently at any time. Even if it is only a small matter, mutual care and help can deepen friendship. It goes without saying that we should give our roommates care and help in our daily life and study. When they are in trouble, we should lend them a helping hand. So, when we have something, is it appropriate to ask our roommates for help? The answer is yes. Because sometimes asking for help can show trust in others, and you can get along well and deepen your feelings. For example, if you need help, and you leave your roommate to find someone else, your roommate will think that you don't trust him. If you don't want to ask others, how can others ask for help in the future? In fact, as long as you pay attention to your discretion and don't embarrass others, it is entirely possible to ask your roommate for help. 6. Don't refuse snacks, invite roommates to buy some fruits, melon seeds and other snacks to the dormitory. Give it to you, don't push it. Don't refuse because you are embarrassed to eat others. Sometimes, your roommate invites you to dinner because of your birthday or other things, and you should also be happy to go. It doesn't matter even if you don't have the money to "invite" him back, because mutual return is not only embodied in material, but also in psychology, which is different from the principle of "equivalent exchange" in commodity economy. When you accept the invitation, in a sense, you are also giving others face. If you refuse all snacks or banquets for a long time, others will inevitably think that you are arrogant, so you will "stay at a respectful distance." 7. Don't speak too fast is an important activity in the dormitory. It is a pleasant thing for roommates to exchange information and opinions with each other, but they often have disputes over trivial matters, and "sleeping with the party" has become a "war of words." Some people like to make fun of others and take advantage of others. Even if they are joking, they will not end up with their own losses. Some people like to argue, trying to persuade roommates to show their abilities and let them "respect" themselves; Some people are afraid of being looked down upon, so they deliberately play the devil's advocate in the "sleeping party" and even expose their own shortcomings and make personal attacks on others. This kind of person who likes to talk fast and take advantage is actually stupid, giving people the impression that he is too competitive and difficult to cooperate. If you don't respect others, others won't respect you. You talk big and try to be smarter than others everywhere. In the end, you will only arouse others' disgust and no one will say hello. 8. Maintain the living environment of * * * and complete the chores. Dormitories are places where people live. Everyone has his own corresponding living space, and at the same time, he must abide by the rules of life that everyone maintains. Many dormitories have a system of taking turns to be on duty, so that everyone can perform their duties in the same sanitary environment, such as fetching water, sweeping the floor and taking out the garbage. These are for others as well as themselves. If someone is lazy, when it is his turn to be on duty, others can't drink boiled water, the room is in a mess, and the garbage is not taken out. Others may not say anything, but they will be dissatisfied. After a long time, there are more people who are not on duty, and the rule of taking turns on duty will be invalid. The chores that every member of the dormitory should do not only refer to doing his own thing well, but also include doing the collective thing well. Some people are lazy at home and everything is taken care of by their families. Living in the dormitory inevitably exposes their bad habits: they never boil water and drink others' every day; Clothes do not pay attention to sorting, throwing; The public health of the dormitory is even more indifferent, and things like sweeping the floor and cleaning the doors and windows are expected to be done by roommates-I don't think any group will welcome a selfish, lazy and sloppy person. 9. Learn to praise others, and don't be stingy with praise. Everyone in the dormitory life group has shortcomings, and everyone will have his bright spots. After living for a long time, he will always find it lovely. So don't be stingy with other people's praise in dormitory life. Everyone likes to be praised, as long as your praise is sincere. When a roommate wears a beautiful dress, don't be stingy, but praise from the heart: "The dress is beautiful"; When roommates get excellent grades, don't be jealous and bitter, but express congratulations in time. This has formed a good humanistic atmosphere in the dormitory. Welcome to pay attention to Renren.com's mutual help and enjoyment platform for college students. "If you don't want to waste these four years in college" can play a vital role in establishing dormitory relationship. 10. A reasonable way to solve daily contradictions is inevitable to quarrel in the dormitory. After a dispute, it is also common that no one wants to admit his fault. This is a time to test a person's honest attitude and courage. If you become enemies because of a little thing, not talking when you meet will cause jealousy in your heart, which will not only hinder the * * * relationship in the dormitory, but also have a bad influence on the parties. Therefore, no matter whether you are at fault or not, it is most reasonable to take the initiative to express reconciliation and forgiveness with each other. If one side shows friendship, the other side will bury the hatchet. The question is who can take the initiative. When there are problems and contradictions in the dormitory, we should communicate in time and don't speak ill of them behind their backs. In such a small group, gossip will only aggravate contradictions and worsen relations. Although the above 10 points are trivial matters in daily life, if they can all be achieved, it will play a multiplier role in dealing with dormitory relations. On the contrary, a small "ant * * *" can also destroy the "embankment of a thousand miles" of good dormitory relations. Fourth, the growth stage of the dormitory The growth process of each specific dormitory is different. Some of them may merge in a short time because of the consistency of personality and the small number of students, while others may still be separated when they graduate from college for other reasons. However, generally speaking, the growth of dormitory can go through four stages. The first stage: polite keywords: excitement; Friendly; Warm From the day we entered high school, the wonderful picture of college life was like a bunch of bananas hanging on the elephant's head, hanging there forever, and we ran for our lives. The sweetest thing on this bunch of bananas is undoubtedly "dormitory life". When we tried our best to break through the finish line, we finally waited until we peeled off this banana, rubbed our hands several times and fantasized many times before opening the dormitory door. The door opened in an instant, and the crib, big desk, small wardrobe and washstand were almost exactly the same as imagined. What attracted our attention most was the roommate who came to the bed early. They turned their heads, and our first reaction was to smile politely. In this smile, dormitory life opened the first act of politeness. Because of parents' education, because of more than ten years' life experience, because we don't know each other's depth, and because we are determined to be the most popular people, we all show the most educated side at this stage. Get up, smile and say hello, and strive to make breakfast for you; Call a friend in class for fear of leaving someone behind; Speak wisely and everyone will be happy. Once you meet someone who needs help, immediately respond with one voice, gather around and offer suggestions, and discuss sesame and mung beans as a national event. The "fallen" roommate was grateful for tears. During this period, the dormitory shines with the light of mutual help, friendship and great unity, which makes my roommates feel refreshed and makes me feel that I am a well-deserved "four haves" newcomer. I feel that I have found the warmth of a small socialist family again, and my dreams and plans are growing rapidly in everyone's mind. The second stage: the true colors are revealed. Keywords: self; Chaos; The first stage of contradiction usually lasts for two or three months. After half a semester, all roommates can't help but have such polite and moderate communication. It seems that I have been modeling for too long, and now I really want to stretch my waist, kick my legs, shake my head and jump twice. At this time, everyone's personality characteristics and living habits also emerge from the ocean of politeness. Relaxing in the dormitory begins with sleeping in. One winter morning, someone did not get up on time. Ren's roommate asked about the cold and warm, and coaxed him with words. He just tripped over a sleepy head, and finally he simply covered himself with a quilt and said, "I won't go to this class!" " "The first deviant, orderly life order was disrupted. The boss took the guitar off the wall and made a noise. The second child attacked something with great interest, and his mouth was wide open: the third child reading novels by candlelight at night is as annoying as the fourth child reading English in the morning; The old five turned the dormitory phone into a love line; Old six dirty clothes piled up like mountains; Old 7 1 eat all day; The bus ... from nodding and smiling to yelling, from being polite to fighting, everyone is moving, and the air in the room is getting hot. Relax and show your true colors, bring richness, enrich and show differences, and produce contradictions. Several hot-blooded young people live in the same room, and a little bump is always inevitable. Nothing is better than at home before. I can't interfere with other people's habits, and my dissatisfaction is not easy to tell everyone. Living in six or seven voices and a dozen pairs of eyes every day, I will find this life really troublesome for a moment! The third stage: people are grouped. Keywords: intimate relationship; Small groups; It is tacitly understood that when cracks appear in large groups, it is the time when small groups accelerate their formation. It turned out that a group of large troops stopped in a pile, and they voluntarily combined into a small team that was light and gaudy. When we found a roommate with similar interests, the joy was indescribable. It is calmer than love, but it lasts longer than love. When we first entered school, we tried our best to write and call our old classmates and friends, pour out our troubles and relieve loneliness, but now we give more time and mood to our new friends around us. Often, the most precious friendship in youth comes into being at this time. When we sing, we are accompanied by youthful chords; When we express it, we have a smart and smart heart to respond; When we seek knowledge, we follow closely with the same diligent steps ... The friendship of universities is more selective than that of primary schools, more interesting than that of middle schools, and more sincere than that after work. This is the most open-minded period, and the desire for friendship is as strong as the desire for love. In the process of growing up, I met like-minded partners and found interesting things to do together, so that I could taste how sweet the honey of life is. The influence of friends is enormous, and many things are done with mutual encouragement and support: rehearsing a program, participating in an exercise, and even talking about a love affair. We have too many things to ask, advice and reliable allies. Girls sleep in the same bed and talk all night to show intimacy, while boys show loyalty by asking each other to get drunk. Many times, many * * *, reminiscing about the past and smiling at the future, is really a happy life! The fourth stage: a world keyword: stretching; Tolerance; When every small restaurant next to the school is eaten up, when we stop talking about ideals, work and postgraduate entrance examination, when all the brothers and sisters we once admired graduate, we become "old classmates" on campus. A few years of life may seem bland to others, but for us, it is a rainbow after a storm. Great sorrow and great joy, everyone changed their bones and muscles and reshaped a brain. Looking at a schoolmate who is as naive as he was then, he will inexplicably give birth to some vicissitudes. We are more independent, more tolerant and as gentle as the elderly. We will not be nervous because of trivial matters, nor will we favor one over another because of personal preferences. Dormitory life entered a warm and harmonious world. We know every roommate's temper and shortcomings, and we have also felt everyone's cuteness and charm. We have mastered the skill of getting along with them skillfully. At this point, we have melted the ice and melted the snow, and now we are friendly. Friends are still friends, but friendship is from the outside to the inside, and there is no need to show people intimacy from time to time. Once mysterious and self-contained, the small group unconsciously returned to the big group. There was a rare lively scene at the dinner table. If self-restraint and courtesy when entering a new school are deliberate requirements for oneself, then the free and easy upbringing shown at this time is really the embodiment of one's own temperament. Dormitory is a big family and a small society, which has taught us to grow up imperceptibly. The dead will never come back. University dormitories are full of various flavors and flavors, which can only be deeply understood by personal experience. Freshmen can neither have too many illusions nor have any panic about dormitory life. A new environment always needs a certain stage to adapt, and the key lies in how to deal with the relationship in the dormitory. Dealing with people is a compulsory course for college students, and it is also an unavoidable problem after entering the society. Starting with coordinating the dormitory relationship, we should handle the relationship with roommates and take the first step in dealing with interpersonal relationships. Ten essentials of dormitory relationship "Go to bed and turn off the lights!" "Hey, I haven't slept yet, wait a minute ..." Before the words were finished, the dormitory was already dark, and Xiaoying slammed off the light: "Turn on your own desk lamp!" The next day, Xiaoying got up early in the morning and didn't take it lightly. The pots and pans made all the lights in the room turn on. The poor don't go to bed until 3 am. Everyone doesn't like Xiaoying's tinkling in the morning, so we decided to send the dormitory administrator to talk to Xiaoying at night. Fifth, expert advice: be more tolerant and cherish. For the problem of how to deal with the relationship between university dormitories, the teacher of the Psychological Counseling Center of East China Normal University has prescribed a "magic prescription"-"Essentials of University Dormitory Relationship": 1. Work and rest with roommates in a unified way, and give tolerance and understanding in daily life; 2. Do not engage in "small groups"; 3. Do not infringe on the privacy of roommates; 4. Actively participate in group activities; 5. It is difficult to help others by caring for them.