The following are some hazards summarized by some educators:
Harm physical and mental health
Physically: Because many puppy lovers are emotionally unstable, impulsive, emotional and have poor self-control, they often have various negative emotions, which will affect their health. This will lead to a series of physical discomfort, and over time, symptoms such as digestive tract diseases and hypoglycemia may occur.
Psychologically: For puppy love, puppy love is a process full of joy and depression. Because of their love for each other, puppy lovers often change their mood because of each other's harsh requirements; There is also pressure from parents, classmates and teachers because of puppy love, which leads to psychological imbalance; When they can't meet their lover, puppy lovers tend to be restless, addicted to fantasy and beg for comfort in fantasy. If this kind of psychology develops too deeply, a few people will have sex with the opposite sex because they can't restrain their emotions, thus causing serious psychological distortion of puppy lovers.
Interference learning
It is very common that teenagers have poor self-control ability, often have no intention to study, and their grades drop. This is the most important reason why people who oppose puppy love oppose puppy love. Everything affects everyone differently. What is good for others may be bad for you, and so is puppy love. It depends on how you handle this matter.
Easily encourage deviant behavior
Many psychologists believe that teenagers are enthusiastic, impulsive and have poor self-control ability. Therefore, many boys and girls in love can't control their feelings and have sex prematurely. This is the most serious harm caused by puppy love to both sides' bodies and minds.
May lead to crime
Dog lovers are generally young and energetic, and are very sensitive to some events. Especially in front of his girlfriend, boys are angry with some behaviors that make them "jealous" and fight with some people, which leads to crimes.
There is another situation, because parents don't support it, the money spent on falling in love can't be taken out, which induces the idea of stealing. This is the most serious harm of puppy love to society.
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Early love consultation
Because most parents and teachers are against puppy love, some educators believe that only the joint efforts of schools, families, society and students themselves can effectively solve the problem of puppy love. They made the following suggestions:
We should overcome bad tendencies and correct our thinking and attitude.
Consciously restrain yourself and reduce bad stimulation or temptation.
We should strengthen the cultivation of ideals, beliefs and values.
Example:
On and off campus: the education of love
Text/Gan Qin (Miaoxi Primary School, Wuxing District, Huzhou City)
At that time, I had just transferred to Miaoxi Primary School and taught the graduating class for the first time. I still can't figure out the students' personalities.
One afternoon, I taught myself and corrected my homework in the office. Suddenly I heard someone shout, "Lili, I love you!" " Lily, I love you! ..... "Listen carefully to the voice coming from our class, and I'll rush to the classroom to find out. As soon as I entered the classroom, I found that the sound was played from the tape recorder. Seeing me come in, Liu Kai, a student, quickly turned off the tape recorder, and the students burst into laughter. I asked the students seriously, "What's the matter?" Seeing me like this, the students all looked at Liu Kaimo and fell silent. I guess it must be Liu Kai's prank again. I learned from other teachers when I first took over: Liu Kai is a problem student, who not only has poor academic performance, but also often causes trouble.
I asked Liu Kaixian to go to the office first, and I stayed to know the situation myself. The monitor told me that after school last night, Liu Kai said "Lili, I love you" to the tape recorder while there was no one in the classroom, and prepared to record it for Lili. Just now, the representative of the Chinese class wanted to play the tape for everyone to listen to the text, but it was inadvertently released. At this time, other students also said noisily: "Liu Kai often writes' love letters' to Lili." "Sometimes I draw a heart with an arrow." "Lily never reads his' love letters' and always throws them in the trash can." "Liu Kai also says that she loves her very much and will marry Lily in the future." ..... I was dumbfounded, is it puppy love or unrequited love? Still so crazy.
This problem is really tricky. What shall we do, criticize and blame? Calling parents to school again? But on second thought, he is still a child. If his parents find out, he will be scolded and teased by other students. Maybe he will hate me; Maybe he will be more rebellious, maybe he will feel inferior and degenerate. ...
Back in the office, Liu Kai still stood there, saw me coming, and bowed his head deeply. "Liu Kai, do you really love Lili?" "Yes!" He still kept his head down. I didn't expect him to admit it. "When did it start?" "In the fourth grade." "Why do you love her?" "She is beautiful and studies well." "Does she love you?" "No." His voice is very low this time. "Have you ever wondered why she doesn't love you?" "If I don't study hard, I will ruin it."
"There is nothing wrong with loving someone." Seeing that I didn't criticize him, he looked up at me in surprise. "But you love her condition is not mature enough. You are not studying well now, and you have no job. What can you love her with? She's getting better and better, but you're not making progress. Can you still catch up with her? " I stood up and said kindly, "If you really love her, you should seize the opportunity." He looked at me in surprise. "It's not too late for you." He was a little surprised. "You are actually a clever student. If you put all your thoughts into your study, your academic performance will be greatly improved. As long as you work hard, you will also be a student with excellent academic performance. Only in this way will Lili respect you. When you have a job and the conditions are ripe, hope comes. I won't tell your family about it either. I hope you work hard. I believe you will succeed. "
Since then, Liu Kai has never written a "love letter", and he is more satisfied than before. Originally, his qualifications were not bad, but he didn't study hard. In the final exam of that semester, he scored more than 90 points in mathematics, which surprised all the teachers and classmates in the class.
After graduation, Liu Kai often wrote to greet me. Last year, his good news came: he was admitted to his ideal university. He is getting closer and closer to the goal of "mature conditions for loving a girl" that I set for him.
So far, I am glad that I didn't show disappointment at that time, didn't complain to my parents directly, didn't criticize him blindly, but helped him "make suggestions" and took a love education class.
Puppy love-key points of consultation
(1) Understand the reasons for puppy love. With the improvement of living standards, adolescent boys and girls are generally in good nutritional status, their physical development is accelerated, their sexual maturity is advanced, and their sexual consciousness is budding and restless, which makes them have a strong demand for sexual experience prematurely. Due to the advent of adolescence, they are psychologically eager for independence. Once they get rid of the shackles of family, they will long for love. The colorful extracurricular cultural life increases the chances of contact between boys and girls, but in the process of communication, they inevitably love each other, resulting in puppy love; Due to the openness, richness and increasing information of social life, students can get information describing love from various channels, which is extremely attractive and infectious, causing their desire for association and imitation; The lack of ideal moral education, especially love education, leads to many students' lack of progress, weak moral concepts and ignorance on love issues. Many students regard goodwill and friendship between the opposite sex as love, but due to the influence of feudal traditional concepts, friendship between the opposite sex has no place. If there is more contact between students of the opposite sex, they will be coaxed into "love", and the parties will sometimes be forced to go to Liangshan. School leaders and teachers set various restrictions on the communication between boys and girls, and blamed the students who broke through the restrictions. As a result, "forbidden fruit is especially sweet", but the restriction aroused some students' curiosity and found the opportunity to try the taste of love; Students admitted to technical secondary schools think that it is difficult to find a suitable object when they are assigned to the countryside after graduation, and now they should seize the right one; Some students are beautiful in appearance and romantic in nature. They believe that the happiness of youth lies in the whispering of flowers and moons. In order to pursue this kind of happiness, they will easily fall in love with others, but some students just talk about love for fun and curiosity, and then make it come true.
(2) sever the relationship. Just as establishing love requires mutual consent, ending puppy love also requires mutual consent, so as to leave no future trouble. The party who offers to end puppy love should break off the relationship with firm will and decisive and appropriate methods. You can have an in-depth dialogue with each other in a proper place and in a rational situation. In conversation, you should first affirm the love, help and care of the other person in the process of love, then tell the other person the harm of puppy love and the importance of learning, and persuade them to put out the fire of love, cherish the seeds of love in their hearts and spend their energy on their studies and personality improvement. You can also use letters. Because letters have more buffer space than interviews, the wording can be more calm and decent, but no matter what method is used, it is necessary to prevent the misunderstanding of the other party and convince the other party as soon as possible.
(3) Interrupt contact. From the boundary of ending puppy love, the friendship and affection between male and female students are normal feelings. As long as love returns to goodwill or friendship, puppy love is over. However, because the emotion aroused by love is strong, and the reason and inhibition of middle school students are quite limited, so to end puppy love, we should try to avoid being alone and temporarily suspend all channels of emotional communication. After a period of emotional freezing, rational control of feelings becomes a habit, and then normal communication is restored, so the tree of feelings will not recur.
(4) transfer emotions. Transfer time and energy to intense study and healthy after-school hobbies. Pay more attention to state affairs, participate in collective activities, speak more famous books and philosophical articles, think more about your own progress, think more about your future career, and think more about how to explore and forge ahead in a complex society in the future. In this way, our minds and horizons will be broadened, our ambitions will be lofty, and we will be full of vitality and move forward forever.
It refers to the premature love of girls who have not reached the age of love before puberty. Puppy love is a worldwide social phenomenon. Puppy love is caused by environmental factors and is related to sexual excitement and germination caused by precocious puberty; It is also related to the loneliness, emptiness and psychological lack of support of girls. Boys and girls who fall in puppy love are attracted, admired and supported by each other because of their love, and their feelings are joyful and pure. Because of the dominant emotion in puppy love, it is usually irrational. Most people have the intention of physical and sexual contact, but they don't always put it into practice. A considerable number of puppy love girls are satisfied with warm emotional atmosphere and intimate language communication. Of course, some people's sexual behavior is based on sexual impulses.
Young girls' puppy love can generally be divided into three types: imitation puppy love-this refers to the type of puppy love in which the development of sexual consciousness is still in the early stage close to the opposite sex, imitating adult love out of curiosity, regardless of the consequences, with obvious playfulness characteristics; Naive puppy love-falling in love is out of the desire for the opposite sex, as long as you like some characteristics of a certain opposite sex. Thinking that the other person has a good voice and plays the ball well, he will flirt secretly or simply write a letter to date, which is obviously blind. This is puppy love, first love, falling in love out of admiration for the appearance, ability, demeanor and personality of the opposite sex, and starting to consciously pursue love. However, we can't fully and deeply understand all the connotations of love, which is the type of puppy love in the later stage of sexual consciousness development.
For adolescent girls' puppy love, as teachers and parents, first, we should strengthen education and make them realize that she is not stereotyped in thought, immature in psychology, independent in economy, not oriented in career and still in the development stage in all aspects. Puppy love is extremely harmful to her physical and mental development and ideal future; Second, we should guard against procrastination, always grasp the mentality of young girls in communication with the opposite sex, and once signs of puppy love are found, we should promptly and tactfully eliminate puppy love in the bud by means of hints, instructions and confidences. Third, to give them positive guidance is to be rational, emotional and persuasive, to guide them to treat the opposite sex correctly, and to control their feelings with moral strength and self-control ability. Don't criticize easily, even reprimand, criticize, beat and scold and humiliate in front of her peers. This is very easy to produce the "Romeo and Juliet" effect, which makes her more closely linked with the feelings of the opposite sex because of resistance, and turns puppy love into true love. Therefore, girls have suffered great mental pain, and their feelings with their parents have also been hurt. Individual puppy love girls leave or commit suicide because of humiliation and anger. These lessons are worth learning.