What should I do if my parents urge me to get married? Many marriageable people will inevitably be asked about marriage by their parents when they go home on holiday. They urge me in your ear every day. Although I know that my parents are good for themselves, I am still annoyed by repeated urging. Let's see what happens if parents urge us to get married.
What if my parents urge me to get married? 1 Mr. Han, an enterprise in longhu district, Shantou, asks for help.
I am 29 years old. I graduated and went back to my hometown. Now I work in a corporate office. I have a house, a car and a loan. My family is in a hurry. I feel very tired. I used to think there would be someone who could wait, but now I think I should find someone who can get married as long as the conditions are right. Recently, I always quarrel with my mother because of this matter, which makes me listless, feel tired in life, and suddenly feel that I have no goal.
Recently, several blind dates have been ignored by others, and I have not chased them. Now I can go back after them. I'm not in the mood to do anything now anyway. What should I do? When you grow up, you can't just think about yourself, but also care about your parents' age and the eyes of people around you. Sometimes I really regret coming back. I might as well work hard in the city where I go to school for a few years, and maybe there will be good results. I don't know. I just don't think I have the energy to do anything.
Emotional counselor analysis
Hello, my friend! Marriage is a big event, and you can't get married in a hurry because of your parents' urging. Such a married life may not be beautiful and harmonious. It's easy for you to lose your fighting spirit under such pressure now. You should know your current needs, your requirements for marriage, and then take the initiative to find the one that suits you. When your parents see your behavior, they will feel comforted and will not keep urging you, then you will also reduce the pressure in this respect.
My parents urged me to get married. What should I do? 2 1. Urge me to get married, please stop!
The Spring Festival is coming, and many people have started a new round of "marriage anxiety". The main reason of "anxiety of urging marriage" comes from the pressure of parents, relatives and friends to ask questions about marriage.
I took stock of the common online marriage promotion routines, and my parents really did everything they could.
Netizen Xiao Chen: (Resolving loneliness)
My cousin told me: an only child like us, if both parents are gone, then we are the only ones in the world. Have a baby, someone with your blood! I was stunned for a long time.
Netizen short period: (family line)
My mother has no culture. After I was indifferent to the straightforward urging of marriage, one day I said earnestly, I won't urge you, but mankind will pass it on from generation to generation (original words). I feel a little guilty for delaying the mission of mankind.
Netizen Xiaoming: (Department of Life Philosophy)
My mother told me that day that I didn't want to rush the marriage. I was afraid that if you were hospitalized in the future, or if there were any major decisions in your life, no one would make up his mind.
Netizen Swallow: (Brainstorming Department)
One day, my father gave me a puzzle: "There are ten alleys in front of you, nine of which are killing organs. What can you do to survive? " I shook my head and my father said quietly, "It's very simple. Find the right lane. "
Both parents want to achieve the same goal, but the means of urging marriage are different.
It seems that you are too old to get married and have children. It seems that you have made a big mistake.
But the fact is that today's young people have their own way of life, and the pace of life is very different from the past. Not everyone can immediately enter the marriage life and live a leisurely life.
......
This young man is a real headache.
Parents, please stop urging marriage!
2. Chinese marriage urging is not marriage, but "fate"
I don't deny that the parents' starting point for urging marriage is good, and they are all for the happiness of their children.
But sometimes it's counterproductive to rush.
In March this year, a 32-year-old boy in Hangzhou was urged by his parents to burn charcoal to commit suicide.
The young man, the eldest son of the family, is introverted and resigned three years ago. He lied to his family that he was at work and pretended to go to work every day for fear that his family would worry.
Parents often urge marriage, and the young man lied about having a girlfriend. His parents happily took out 300 thousand savings to buy him a car, and the young man could only use one lie to round up another.
Later, under the repeated urging of his parents, he got married, and the young man committed suicide by burning charcoal. Fortunately, he was rescued in time and saved his life.
His parents are also very remorseful. They thought that urging marriage could point out the direction of their son's life, but they didn't expect it to hurt his son.
Parents who love to urge marriage are often very controlling. They think that everything is fine when children get married, but they don't think that pressure can't be turned into motivation, but will become a weapon.
Coincidentally, two years ago, there was a 27-year-old girl with high education in Jinjiang who insisted on blind date under the careful arrangement of her parents.
Every time a blind date fails, the girl will be scolded and abused by her parents. Gradually, the girl's psychological pressure is increasing. Finally, one day, she jumped off the building in despair.
She left a suicide note: Mom and Dad, please arrange a ghost wedding. I will never resist again. ......
It seems that our life must follow the secular arrangement.
When you are single, someone will urge you to fall in love. Oh, why don't you fall in love? How wonderful it is to fall in love. ...
When you are in love, someone will urge you to get married. Oh, when are you getting married? Marriage is the right way of life. ...
When you finally get married, someone will still tell you to have children early out of kindness, because life is complete with children. ...
It's not over yet. Diapers, milk powder, kindergartens, key primary schools, junior high schools, senior high schools, interest classes, going abroad and finding a partner, life is really endless. ...
At any stage, there will always be people worried about you. Live according to other people's expectations, and don't expect to catch your breath.
We can't let ourselves go and think about what we need most and what kind of life suits us best.
If all people in this world live in the same way, what's so wonderful?
3, 4 tricks to teach you to deal with marriage.
The traditional culture of China tells us that it is filial piety to carry on the family line.
Therefore, in the face of parents urging marriage, even if they are not ready to get married, they should give timely feedback to their parents and communicate frequently. Parents are worried about you when you have children.
So what we have to do is:
(1) Give parents reassurance.
What do you want and don't want? Speak your true thoughts and tell your parents that you are struggling in your career and have more important things to do. Now you can live a good life alone.
Please parents understand.
Then tell your parents: within a few years, you will definitely get married, please believe you.
At the same time, describe your plans and preparations for the future, follow your parents' wishes and invite them to participate in the discussion.
In the process of communication:
Don't quarrel with your parents, it will only get more and more chaotic.
(2) List negative teaching materials in life.
Collect or recommend some negative textbooks to parents.
Look at that, and that, after a year of marriage, they left, poor child.
Look again, so-and-so, so-and-so, get married in a hurry, get married unfortunately, and quarrel all day.
……
You don't want me to be unhappy in the future, so be careful when you get married!
(3) Put psychological pressure on parents in turn.
If parents are strict, you can say:
"If I marry whoever I want to meet your needs now, if I am unhappy in the future, don't regret my current behavior."
Of course, if you jump off the wall in a hurry, you can't say it, and your parents will be sad, too.
(4) Let parents trust us.
If a person is born in an open family and parents adopt an open education for their children, then the children will be more willing to express their ideas.
Many problems, to put it bluntly, are communication is not in place.
Parents have no right to decide marital affairs, but they must have the right to participate.
So don't refuse to communicate with your parents. Only when you give them hope will they have confidence in you. People are mutual.