Active discipline reading experience 1 Active discipline is a different way of education, which allows students to concentrate on solving problems instead of passively accepting punishment and reward. Let children cultivate self-discipline, sense of responsibility, spirit of cooperation and their ability to solve problems in a cordial and firm atmosphere. Learn social skills and life skills that will benefit him for life.
As a teacher, the most empathetic sentence in the book is: "I believe that children must feel worse if they want to do better." When I educate my students, I will severely reprimand the particularly naughty children. The children are obedient on the surface, but they are not convinced. Indeed, although punishment can temporarily stop bad behavior, it can't permanently solve the problem. Children will do better only if they are in a good mood. Therefore, only by encouraging children to experience a sense of belonging and value can we achieve long-term positive results. Children are sensitive, but weak in expression. It needs our teachers and parents to carefully interpret it, instead of beating and cursing to suppress children's wrong behavior. In the long run, it has not really solved the problem, but has brought new problems.
"Reward" and "punishment" frequently appeared in our previous teaching work. The book "Active Discipline in Classroom" has taught me a different way-active discipline, making students feel cared for by establishing emotional connection, advocating a kind and respectful attitude, and helping students solve problems by encouraging mode.
"The purpose of positive discipline is to let students focus on solving problems instead of passively accepting punishment and rewards." This view reminds me of being punished for violating discipline when I was a child. I promise I won't make the same mistake again because I'm afraid of being punished again. And when I was in junior high school, I was punished for copying the wrong questions in the political test paper three times. The dense words and the soft feeling of writing also make me afraid of writing. On the other hand, I also use extra points to encourage students to participate in learning activities. It is not difficult to find that students will not be interested if teachers don't pay attention to the evaluation of extra points in a class.
Positive subject reading experience 2 In a blink of an eye, my son has been in the second grade of primary school. I can't believe it's the ninth year of parenthood. Facing the growing children, we always have to face all kinds of problems and new challenges, accompanied by all kinds of confusion, anxiety and confusion. The hurried time was too late to recall, but it just passed quickly.
Parents who love their children always want to bring their children what they want. We have to learn too much about how to accompany them and how to shoulder the responsibility of being parents. This is not only the growth of children, but also the cure of my childhood. I feel the pain and lack of growing up, and I am particularly worried that my children will make the same mistakes again. So I often read books to find answers and methods. Stumbling all the way, one parenting book is like one treasure book, which supports me to approach the right path, enlightens me again and again and opens my heart.
I still remember that after my son was born, the first parenting books I came into contact with were Sun Ruixue's Love and Freedom and the Sensitive Period of Grasping Children. I was lucky enough to finish reading these two books in time, and I was nourished like an unused experimental field of a new mother. At the beginning of a life, behind his various behaviors that are not understood by adults is the growth law of phototaxis. As mothers, we need to provide him with enough support to protect him from being stopped by family members who don't understand. We should separate anxiety from fear from love, not treat children as adults, but really see their needs. This is very important in ensuring the smooth growth of 0-6 years old.
The child grew up gradually, and I later read Positive Discipline. I learned that few children are satisfied with themselves when their behavior is out of control. They need to be encouraged to learn from their mistakes, and they need ways to make up for their losses. Parents need to change their attitude from humiliation and blame to support and real discipline, and correct them in a kind and firm way in the spirit of love rather than anger. In this way, children will regain a certain degree of self-esteem in this process and grow up in mistakes.
There is also a good book called Happy Education. We cannot do "empty" education. What a pity if children only have strong learning ability and know how to get good grades in exams, but they have no self and don't know why to study! The most important thing in life is happiness. Everyone should have their own unique happy life. To pursue such happiness, we must help children realize their self-worth. Every life has its own unique talent. When a certain way suits a certain life, you will find it full of energy and passion. Only he knows this feeling best. We should respect his freedom of self-choice.
Family education, first of all, is companionship, and affection makes children feel safe. Later, I read that you are children's toys. We need to spend time listening to and responding to children's needs instead of isolating and rejecting them. Sometimes a child may really not know what to do. He needs your guidance, providing solutions or guiding children to think about solutions. Cry because they don't have enough language skills. Please give the crying child enough support and love. After crying, the child will be more likely to tell you how he feels. If you find that your child is always unhappy, you should re-evaluate your daily activities and whether to give your child enough exercise time, quiet time and various activities to exercise his intelligence and physical quality.
Accepting children's introversion and shyness is usually an innate character, and children's over-sensitivity to strange faces and environments has genetic roots. They have a delicate inner world, they will take the time to analyze why some people do certain things, and they have wonderful imagination. Shy children usually grow up to be sensitive and understanding adults.
Although we still fall into the whirlpool of wrong education methods from time to time, at least I have been trying to be a competent mother. The goal of our efforts is not to be close to perfection, but to keep awakening.
Later, I watched the House of Origin, which was so good that everyone wanted to see it. What kind of environment we can provide for children determines whether this seed grows healthily and happily. This environment does not mean how good the material space is and how superior the learning resources are, but whether we can provide a stable and loving spiritual world. That's why I'm always in a whirlpool, that is, my lifestyle is influenced by my family background. I want to know clearly why we can't easily control our emotions, our own problems and the problems of the previous generation. This is a pattern handed down from generation to generation. We don't want to blame our parents, we should find out the root of the problem.
Happy Parenting Law is a very suitable book after reading Origin and Fate. The book talks about the structure of the brain, the developmental sequence of children's brains, and the concepts of lower brain and upper brain, namely "emotional brain" and "rational brain". The brain is like a two-story building. When emotions get out of control, the emotional roof of the lower brain is lifted, and the upper brain can't think rationally, so it can't continue to develop a rational brain.
There are still many books to read and many methods to learn, but my implementation is not good enough, so I still can't play my role well. I need more gradual changes, which is our common growth.
Experience in reading formal training 3 I have long heard of formal training, but I have never read it. Recently, this book, which has been praised by countless parents and teachers, has been ushered in. When I got it, I read the preface first It turned out that the author was actually the mother of 7 children and the grandmother of 29 children. It was really a surprise. I accidentally read a sentence in the book: there are always several children, which can make the second-grade teacher want to retire early, and the fourth-grade teacher wants to take the summer vacation quickly. After seeing it, I couldn't help laughing and laughing. I really want to see what methods can be used to "discipline" such children in books. Active discipline is a way to discipline children without punishment or arrogance. Only in a cordial and firm atmosphere can children cultivate self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation spirit and their ability to solve problems. Only by learning the social skills and life skills that will benefit them for life can they achieve good academic results. How to make children acquire this ability with active discipline is the main content of this book.
When I get a new book, I am used to reading the catalogue first. I was suddenly attracted by the "importance of birth order" in the third chapter, let alone anything else. The book says that the oldest child and the youngest child in the family have certain similarities in personality. The boss is responsible, independent, aggressive, conservative and so on. Because bosses are the first-born children, they often mistakenly think that they must be the first or the best to be important. The smallest and most obvious feature is pampering. Many youngest children are not only loved by their parents, but also by their brothers and sisters, which makes them easily mistakenly think that they must constantly manipulate others to serve themselves to show their importance, and they are often good at using their charm to inspire others to do things for themselves. By contrast, the youngest child may find it difficult to adapt to school life. An only child may be like the oldest or the youngest. In our present society, most children are only children. With the liberalization of the second child policy, more and more families have two children. Therefore, our students will basically show the psychological characteristics of the eldest or the third. Judging from the students in the class I teach now, when they first entered school last year, some children showed poor sense of responsibility and rules, and they were slow to adapt to primary school life. Even one or two children can't do what the school rules require, which is very self-centered. After reading what is written in the book and recalling the family situation of these children, it is true that the child is the youngest in the family, or that the parents are very spoiled.
It is also mentioned in the book that the birth order of teachers will also affect individual teaching styles. As a boss, teachers usually like to be responsible. I prefer order and order. I like to see the students sit neatly and do as they say. As an only child, I am inclined to the psychological characteristics of the boss. Seeing this, I think I really need this book. I hope I can learn wisdom and strength from the positive discipline methods introduced in this book, and strive to keep students orderly through mutual respect and understanding, and never become an authoritative teacher.
Positive Discipline Reading Experience 4 I read the book Positive Discipline again. After reading it, I have a deeper understanding of the words "kindness and firmness". First of all, we should respect the attitude of children and abide by the rules that have been agreed with them. Secondly, the two complement each other and are indispensable. Only by combining the two can we avoid excessive control or arrogance.
First, look for the reasons for bad behavior.
Children don't behave well because they are pursuing a sense of belonging and self-worth in the wrong way. When children have bad behavior, it is probably because parents have not given their children enough sense of belonging and self-worth. Therefore, parents should not be angry because of their children's bad behavior, but should reflect on themselves.
Second, use the method of positive discipline.
(A) the four steps to win cooperation
1, indicating understanding the child's feelings.
2. Show sympathy for children, not forgiveness.
3. Tell your children how you feel.
4. Let children focus on solving problems.
Note: when a child makes a mistake, don't be wordy and don't say "I told you so ...". This will not help solve the current problem, but will only increase the child's disgust)
(b) Ask more enlightening questions
When children make mistakes, don't tell them what to do, but ask more enlightening questions, such as "What happened?" "What do you think is the reason?" "What do you think we should do?" "How to avoid it next time?" . This can not only improve children's expressive ability, but also cause children to think about how to solve problems.
(3) Active suspension
When there is a conflict, give both sides an emotional buffer period. If the child is young, parents can "pause" with the child, such as reading together. If the children are older, you can communicate with them in advance. If there is a conflict, leave the scene temporarily and discuss the solution together when everyone calms down.
(4) Decide what you do, not what your children do.
When the child has some bad behaviors repeatedly, don't nag the child what to do, but tell the child what you will do. If children always throw dirty clothes about, don't force them to put them in the laundry basket. You just need to tell them that you can only wash the clothes in the dirty clothes basket and implement them kindly and firmly.
(5) Teach children to learn from mistakes.
First of all, we should regard our mistakes as opportunities for learning, instead of being depressed after making mistakes. Having the courage to admit mistakes after making mistakes and actively looking for solutions is to set a positive example for children. Encourage children to tell their mistakes, accept their mistakes, and find solutions with them.
(6) Hold family meetings regularly.
You can have a family meeting on a fixed day every week. Hosted by family members in turn.
The contents of the family meeting are as follows:
1. Thank the family members and give examples.
2. In view of the problems that happened some time ago, reach the unanimous opinion of all employees. If no agreement is reached, the problem will be put off until the next family meeting.
3. Discuss the distribution of housework and encourage children to undertake housework.
4. Plan family activities.
5. Share mistakes and discuss solutions together.
We often have a lot of judgments, expectations, accusations, disappointments and anger about children. But in fact, love and happiness are the whole purpose of our discipline of children. Expressing unconditional love for children, taking responsibility, taking mistakes as learning opportunities, looking for positive aspects, saying "no" to children kindly and firmly, and helping children find true "yes" are the correct parenting methods that parents and teachers can and should adopt.
Experience in reading formal training 5 I recently read the book "Formal Training" and read the reading experience written by Teacher Deng. I was very moved at that time. I quite agree with the positive self-discipline, kindness and firmness proposed in the book, which is very close to my idea of organizing classes, but too systematic, too perfect and too profound. Later, because I was too busy at work, I never had time to read this book seriously. Later, I couldn't wait to buy this book, studied it carefully for more than a month, reviewed and reflected while reading, and recorded my feelings. I feel that my previous understanding is really superficial. This reading has given me a deeper and more comprehensive understanding of positive discipline. Now I will sort out my learning experience during this period.
Positive Discipline, written by American psychologist Dr. jane nelsen, is a classic, which has benefited millions of children, parents and teachers for life. The book repeatedly emphasizes that positive discipline is a way to discipline children without punishment or arrogance. Only in a cordial and firm atmosphere can children cultivate self-discipline, sense of responsibility, cooperative spirit and problem-solving ability, learn social skills and life skills that will benefit them for life, and achieve good academic results. The book mainly introduces how to use positive discipline to make children acquire this ability, and tells us how to communicate effectively with children with a large number of cases, as well as the underlying reasons behind it. The book convincingly explains the deep meaning of why parents and teachers must do this, and how to correctly interpret the information behind children's wrong behavior and how to take the most effective countermeasures.
It is very important for adults to guide and guide children, but children should receive equal dignity and respect; They should also have the opportunity to develop the life skills they need in an atmosphere of kindness and firmness rather than blame, humiliation and pain. We often deprive children of the opportunity to contribute in a responsible way to gain a sense of belonging and value, and then in turn blame them for their lack of responsibility. This is exactly where we are. We adults have made rules instead of letting children discuss them, otherwise we will be punished, and it is in the name of "I love you, and I am doing this for your own good". We talk about love, but our faces are ferocious. No wonder children are confused and rebellious. We must understand that it is our bounden duty to provide opportunities for children and cultivate their sense of responsibility and self-motivation.
The book mentions two sentences many times: "Where on earth did we get such an absurd idea? If we want children to do better, we have to make them feel worse first?" "Children will do better when they are in a good mood." I am very touched. In the face of children's bad behavior, when dissuasion doesn't work, I always think that "doing something wrong should be punished", and punishment will make children do better and become better people. Like many people, I was fooled by the effect of punishment at that time, and I wonder why children "don't have long memories."
Positive discipline does not use any blame, humiliation or pain (physical or mental) as an incentive. It is based on mutual respect and cooperation, combines kindness and firmness, and takes this as the cornerstone to cultivate children's life skills on the basis of self-control. Comparing the four standards of effective discipline, especially for children, I am ashamed that all the educational management methods I have adopted fail to meet these standards. Many times, as a parent, I enrolled my child in an interest class without considering whether he likes it or not, and often forced him to do something he didn't like.
Nelson warned us that the feeling behind our words and deeds is more important than what we do or say, and what we do is never more important than how we do it. If we can often ask ourselves, "am I giving strength to children or hurting them?" We will be more efficient when dealing with children. How to treat children's bad behavior? Drex emphasizes encouragement as the most important skill that adults should learn when helping children. He said many times: "Children need encouragement, just as plants need water. They can't survive without encouragement. " Nelson believes that it is the best way to help a misbehaving child through encouragement, which is really not easy to do. Encouragement is not a compliment, but an opportunity for children to form the cognition that "I have the ability, I can contribute, I can influence what happens to me, and I can know how to respond". Encouragement is to teach children the necessary life skills and social responsibility in daily life and interpersonal relationships. Encouragement can be as simple as hugging, helping children feel better and do better.
I'm sorry that I haven't finished reading this book until now, and I don't understand the educational concept of positive discipline. The bottom of my heart is selfless, and the world is wide. My child is growing up slowly. If we had known earlier, our parent-child relationship might have been better and we might have been happier. Fortunately, I found that some principles and methods mentioned in the book can continue to be applied to our lives or work, such as taking the initiative to pause and respecting each other. When we meet another self, I believe my work and life will be more harmonious.