After reading the previous answer, there is already a theoretical analysis. Let me talk about two depressed patients I have come into contact with in my life. One of them got worse and worse, and the other committed suicide several times but finally recovered.
First of all, her characteristic is that she doesn't like to talk about anything and can't solve it by herself. In fact, this is not depression, but colleagues and bosses around her say that she has depression. As long as she is unhappy and frustrated, she begins to say that she has depression again.
Over time, she really tends to be depressed. Personally, I think it has something to do with people around her constantly giving her psychological hints. You always label her as "depressed", and she will think that she really has this problem.
Therefore, if the child has depression, it is best not to give him these negative hints and not to make him feel that he is defective.
You can give him more relaxed and happy positive comments according to his performance. If he doesn't do well, tell him it doesn't matter, give him love and encouragement, not criticism.
Let's talk about the second place, severe depression, coupled with poor health, two attempted suicides. At that time, her mother was always with her, but her mother's company was crucial. In short, it is to constantly deny her and think that she is an extreme and unhealthy child. Even if she wanted to eat vegetables, her mother felt too weak to eat meat, and then she brought a big bowl of meat.
Of course, it's her mother's problem, but if you are with a depressed person, sometimes you will find his thoughts or views on things strange or negative, but you should try your best to understand, not deny and criticize.
Fortunately, the patient recovered slowly after being accompanied by enthusiastic people for about a year. I summed up their methods of companionship, hoping to bring you some reference:
People usually like to impose their ideas on others, but if they really want to accompany people with depression, they still have to listen to her. Even if what she says is wrong, don't deny it in a hurry, but show your understanding of his feelings. Then slowly lead to positive and optimistic aspects.
The story is not made up, but some positive energy content around him. Let him feel this atmosphere and put more optimistic things in his heart.
Every time he makes progress, he can give some praise and affirmation, which can inspire him and let him see more hope.
Everyone is equal, even if he has depression, he still enjoys the right to be treated equally. Don't wear colored glasses to see people with depression. Don't think it is a defect or discrimination.
After all, everyone wants to be treated equally. If you treat him condescendingly, you will also break his heart.
Nothing can be done overnight. The treatment needs to be done slowly. Don't deny, force or criticize just because you are in a hurry. Love and warmth are the most important things.
In short, in addition to cooperating with doctors' treatment, patients with depression should be accompanied psychologically, with more understanding and affirmation, more love and warmth, and more positive hints. I believe it will be better.
The above is my answer based on cases in life, for reference only, thank you.
Hello, I'm Ji Yan, a national second-level psychological counselor, and I'm honored to answer the question "How to accompany depressed children".
The topic does not reflect the gender and age of the child. No matter the mental discipline or psychological direction, it is rigorous for patients or visitors. In developmental psychology, the psychological state of children is divided into many stages and should be treated differently. Because each growth stage has its unique sexual characteristics, "targeted" can better help children and parents.
There is another very important question. The criteria for identifying depression are very strict, and it is difficult for ordinary people to distinguish between "depression" and "depressed mood". Clinically, we often see some people being labeled as "depression" innocently. For minors, once labeled, it will affect the child's life.
Many children do show symptoms of "depression" at some stage. Parents take their children to the hospital for diagnosis, and the value of depression and anxiety is very high. Therefore, it is concluded that children are "depressed", but in fact, "numerical value" does not represent symptoms, especially children before and after puberty, whose emotions change greatly and are easily influenced by various factors, which are difficult to be understood by parents and teachers, and will show a state similar to "depression" at some time. This state can be adjusted.
In the cases we received, many parents found that children with depression would have the following unscientific practices:
1, theoretical education. After many parents find their children's problems, the first thing they do is "theoretical education". Many parents appear in turn, trying to make their children "obedient".
2, the reason for the child. Nowadays, children are very smart, and some of them have even surpassed their parents, so parents should not try to impose their own cognition on their children.
3. Bring the children to the "knowledgeable" people in the eyes of parents and let others help discipline the children. This will make the child feel disgusted.
4. Snoring stimulates children. Some parents are used to punishing their children by coercive means because their children are in poor condition and under great pressure and can't control their behavior.
5. I dare not see a doctor. Because of fear of being looked down upon by others, saying that the child is "problematic" and unwilling to take the child to the formal medical department for treatment, the most suitable consultation and treatment opportunities are lost.
6. Buy medicine through informal channels and give it to children privately. Whether it is depression or depression, the best way is to combine all aspects, such as the combination of traditional Chinese and western medicine, the cooperation of psychiatrists and psychological counselors.
7. "Afraid of children." Many parents are afraid of "offending" their children every day after they know that there is something wrong with them.
The most scientific way to benefit children is, first of all, parents should realize:
1, no matter whether the child is depressed or often depressed, don't blame the child, let alone try to force the child to "pull away". A child with a fever, you tell him not to have a fever, which will only increase the child's anger.
2. Every depressed child must have an emotionally unstable guardian at home. Parents need to improve with their children and see their own problems. We all know that all kinds of pressures are great at present, and the anxiety value in the population is generally high. Parents must release their emotions reasonably.
Don't make unnecessary attempts when you can't communicate effectively with your children. Many incorrect understandings will increase children's sense of helplessness and powerlessness. Be sure to consult professionals to find the most suitable method for children, and don't copy others' methods.
4. If you find that your child's problem is really serious, at least one member of your family should take the same attitude of "hen protects chicken" and give the child "strong" protection no matter what happens in a certain period of time. Please remember that what you are doing now is not the same as "doting".
This answer is a bit long, because "depression" is a very special and worthy of attention. I hope I can help you. I hope to recover soon.
What should parents do when facing depressed children?
When a child is sick, parents will reflect on themselves and find that they did not do well enough in the process of their child's growth, so self-blame and guilt come to mind and want to compensate the child. It is this kind of psychological compensation that makes parents not know what to do when facing their children. Instead, it has become a weight for children to constantly ask their parents to do this and that, and constantly break through behavioral restrictions.
Therefore, parents really need to change the way they get along with their children and change the way of education, but they don't need to feel guilty or want to compensate their children.
In the process of educating children, we need to understand them and listen to them, but more importantly, we need to accompany them, help them understand the behavior rules that should be established in the process of growing up and their expectations for self-growth, and encourage them to achieve self-growth behavior.
Parents should forgive themselves, because parents need to constantly tolerate their children's behavior in the next process. First, parents need to tolerate themselves first, learn to tolerate themselves, and then face their children's excessive behavior to understand and tolerate them.
When a child suffers from depression, his mood often falls into a trough. Unknown so often feels depressed and cries, sometimes for a long time. Parents feel distressed when they see their children crying, and want to comfort their children so that they are not so sad and happy.
Not only depressed patients, but also normal people, crying is also an emotional catharsis we need. Don't let a child cry, and don't let a person cry when he is in a bad mood. On the contrary, it is a behavior that goes against normal physiological phenomena, which will make people more uncomfortable. Such depression will lead to more diseases.
Therefore, when a child wants to cry, we should allow him to cry. What we need to do is to be with him. When he is willing to tell, we can listen, and at the same time ensure the safety of the child, so that he will not do anything that hurts himself or others in crying.
In the past, children didn't learn to play mobile phones, but parents could discipline them and approve them. But now that the child is ill, he can't scold. Say the child ignores you. Before playing, he discussed with his children the time to play with his mobile phone. If the child wants to continue playing, he will make trouble if he doesn't give it to the child. Parents are worried that their children's condition will deteriorate and even have self-injury behavior. They can only swallow this anger by themselves. What should we do?
First of all, parents should understand why children play mobile phones. What can children get by playing mobile phones? They can often get a sense of accomplishment and develop friendship from playing mobile phones, and mobile phones become children's spiritual world. Children with depression often feel many failures in the real world. At this time, if they are deprived of their spiritual world, the children will have a sense of collapse.
However, it is indeed harmful for children to play mobile phones for a long time. Parents still need to let their children establish appropriate rules of conduct. The principle of establishing behavior rules is small steps. For example, your child currently plays mobile phones for more than 10 hours a day, so it is obviously not objective for you to let your child play for only two hours a day at once. We can set a goal like this: within half a month, let children play mobile phones from ten hours a day to nine hours a day.
As long as the time for children to play mobile phones is reduced, even by ten minutes, it must be affirmed.
Depressed patients also have emotional irritability, and the object is people who bring him a lot of anger, mostly parents. These behaviors are all expressing the anger that his parents have accumulated in his heart for so many years.
Although we have to understand that this is a way for children to vent their emotions, and his anger needs to be expressed, at the same time, we must also realize that these beating and cursing behaviors of children definitely need to be corrected.
At this time, parents cannot resist. Parents should try to understand him. What is behind his excitement? What makes him feel sad and unhappy? Through such communication, parents can better understand their children and how to communicate with them.
Secondly, parents should adhere to a gentle and firm attitude when communicating with their children. We shouldn't communicate with children in an accusatory tone, which is very offensive to them. Many times, children just don't like their parents' attitude, and they completely ignore or even deny what their parents say. Therefore, we must adhere to a moderate attitude, but we must adhere to principles and the bottom line.
Thirdly, when communicating with children, we should pay attention to respecting their opinions. In other words, we should fully listen to children's opinions, discuss with them, and formulate rules of conduct with their consent. This regulation is very clear. For example, the time for playing mobile phones is not "the less you play, the better", but the specific time, how long you can play in the morning, how long you can play in the afternoon, and how long you will cancel playing mobile phones if you violate the regulations. Once the rules are made, both children and parents must abide by them. When there are clear rules to follow, parents can communicate with their children with a gentle and firm attitude.
Hello, I'm Mr. Panda and Ms. Liu.
I understand your hard work now. I can also understand your parents' concern about their children's mental illness. But I hope you can be strong.
Accompany children out of the gloom of depression.
I hope my answer can give you some help.
If family members suffer from depression, they must pay attention to it and fully understand the symptoms of this psychological disorder.
Depression can be divided into:
The most troublesome part of psychological problems such as depression is the ups and downs of the course. Each attack lasts at least 2 weeks, and even years for the elderly. Most cases tend to recur, most can be relieved, and some can have residual symptoms or become chronic.
The main symptoms of depression are:
Depression is a mental illness.
The pain and injustice of mental illness, if not the parties, is extremely difficult to feel. In the underdeveloped past, many parents simply and rudely defined their children's depression as the weakness of their children's personality.
Parents who don't have a deep understanding of depression, a psychological disease, often use the wrong method.
Finally, make the child's situation worse.
Parents want their children to be physically and mentally healthy, and adults face the pressure of work and the burden of life. And children who become depressed.
Parents will feel powerless and helpless. This will also lead to parents' emotional instability. Even create an extremely depressed family atmosphere. This aggravated the child's depression.
Depression, a psychological disorder, will affect children's physical function if it lasts for a long time.
After many people suffer from depression, there are not too many adverse physical reactions at the beginning. However, with the severity of depression, children begin to close themselves off and lose the positive motivation of life, which often leads to anorexia and insomnia, which will harm their health.
A person went from mental health to unhappiness and bad mood, and was finally diagnosed as depression. This is because the blow and injury of one specific event after another has pushed children into the fog of depression step by step.
If parents want to help their children out of depression, they need to analyze the causes of depression.
Generally speaking, the causes of children's depression are:
Many children will get depression, which is closely related to their family environment. If the child is in an overly strict family or has experienced domestic violence, or there is a marital conflict between parents. It is possible to lay the groundwork for children's depression.
If a child is beaten by a teacher on campus, his classmates will be isolated and even bullied. It may also be psychological stress or even emotional problems caused by study. Will form a depressed mood.
Children's psychological endurance is weak, and after some great failures in life, they will be devastated. It means giving up on yourself. At this time, depression will accumulate.
We need to understand that when children's depression becomes more and more serious, it is impossible for children to recover simply by taking care of their parents.
Many parents are afraid of illness and medical treatment. Worried about gossip, or lack of scientific understanding of depression itself, will lead to the delay of children's illness, and finally become very serious.
Therefore, parents need to take their children to the local hospital for examination as soon as possible to confirm their depression stage. Treat the child according to the doctor's advice.
Parents need to arrange a psychological consultation for their children in time, and through scientific psychological consultation, alleviate the psychological pain caused by depression.
In the face of depressed children, many parents will be helpless, and some parents will show impatience when their children cry.
Sometimes even children will lose their temper because of depression and say something hurtful. Parents do not control themselves in time, but are angered by their children and will treat depressed children with reprimands and accusations.
Therefore, parents must do enough psychological construction for themselves, understand some abnormal behaviors of children during the onset of depression, and don't form opposition with children.
Understand and tolerate children as much as possible.
Relieve children's psychological pressure.
The most feared thing about depression is loneliness.
Because depression will weaken children's willpower, when children stay at home alone, they will have a negative idea that the whole world doesn't need themselves.
In severe cases, if parents are not around, there will be some strong stress reactions. Then there may be some self-injury behavior.
When children feel lonely and desperate, parents should comfort them in time and express their support for them.
What children need most now is the companionship and love of their parents. Never give up the child.
Which parent in the world wants to make their children suffer?
Depression, a huge black dog, needs a family to face it well, and Qi Xin works together to fight it.
I hope your children can live a happy life!
First, depression is a real disease, just like high fever and fracture, it must be treated symptomatically, and depression must be treated comprehensively with antidepressants in psychiatric department.
Second, intimate companionship-the case is in a bad mood, and it is more dangerous in the early morning.
Third, unconditional tolerance, only praise the right, not criticize the wrong.
People with depression feel that they are not good at anything, and their sense of self-identity and value is low. It is best to find a professional psychological counselor for consultation and guidance. Secondly, the family only needs to understand companionship, and there is no need to persuade too much, because our unprofessional persuasion may increase his trouble.
Note: Depression and depression are two different things and cannot be confused. If the child is only depressed and has depressed emotions, most of them are emotional reactions accumulated by setbacks. At this time, it is mainly to help children analyze the causes of setbacks, avoid repeating mistakes and failures, find advantages, encourage support, and restore self-confidence. Some children's frustration stems from learning attention disorder or lack of interpersonal skills, and they need further treatment, diagnosis and intervention. Depression is the existence of depression syndrome and a diagnosis of mental illness. The biggest danger at this time is suicide and self-harm. First of all, we should do a good job in safety monitoring, avoid mental stimulation and stress, seek medical advice, take medicine according to doctor's advice, and cooperate with treatment. There is also a kind of non-suicidal self-injury behavior that children and adolescents are prone to, in order to hurt themselves as an emotional vent or threat to control each other, and the purpose is not suicide. This usually requires specific identification and targeted intervention by psychiatrists. Note that general psychological counseling sometimes delays diagnosis and treatment, which is risky.
If you want to accompany a depressed child, you must first understand depression. Depression is neither melodramatic nor fragile. He's just sick. You have to understand this first.
Depression is a kind of mood disorder characterized by obvious depression, which is mainly manifested as:
1. Feeling depressed, depressed, unable to be happy, losing interest in everything, pessimistic and self-blaming, and even committing suicide and self-injury in severe cases.
2. The thinking speed is slow, and the thinking association speed is slow. Many patients say that their heads are like paste or locked, and their reactions become dull and their actions become slow.
3. The amount of social activities has decreased, and it has become less talkative, less active, less active, more withdrawn, and social activities have decreased significantly.
4. Being unwell, having difficulty falling asleep, waking up early, being heavy in the morning and light at night, always feeling unwell, and there is nothing unusual in going to check. I worry too much about my health and always worry that I am seriously ill.
So how to treat it?
Mild depression can be cured by psychotherapy or self-regulation; Moderate and severe need medical treatment. Among them, severe cases need hospitalization.
So how can we accompany depressed children?
What we can do is to accompany him, give him enough support, tell him that you love him no matter what he becomes, encourage him and take him to formal treatment.
Accompanying him to supplement some exercise can promote dopamine secretion and help improve our mood.
Don't accuse him why he is so fragile and why others are under pressure. Tell him that he can rest when he is tired and that you will accompany him after adjustment.
Depression is a disease from the inside out, which destroys the patient's spirit and erodes the patient's desire for survival. We should use enough love and support to bring sunshine into the gloomy sky of patients, illuminate their hearts and awaken their desire for survival.
Finally, may every child grow up healthily and stay away from depression!
Depression is a hidden disease that isolates you from the world. This symptom will destroy the relationship between people and make people who don't know how to help more confused. But your support is essential. So how can we help people with depression around us?
1. Stay with me; The best way to help people with depression is to have someone around. When a person is depressed, even if someone you care about is around to cry with you, hold your hand, or express that you are important to him, how can I help you? I think people with depression will feel very warm inside.
2. Small moves, big love; If you are not used to emotional expression, you can express your support in another way; For example, sending a card, sending a message, or cooking a delicious meal can make him feel love. These actions are like lights in the dark to guide them.
3. Don't judge or criticize them; The influence of your words on the people you care about is immeasurable. Try not to say things like "You should see the bright side, not just the bad side" or "You should be in out of the dark's circle, it's bright outside". The subtext of these words is that they have room to choose their emotions, but they let them go and chose despair. These words are not only sensitive, but also likely to push the people you care about further into the abyss of depression.
4. Don't use provocation; Many people think that stimulation can burn their pain and stimulate their positive behavior. Some people even say something extreme: "If you are not good, I will leave you", which is like telling them that I have given up on you. The challenge method will not play any positive and effective role, but will aggravate his depression.
5. Don't underestimate their pain; We think that people with depression are too sensitive, and a little thing will disturb their mood; In fact, such an attitude will make people with depression feel ashamed, and they will feel neglected and perfunctory.
6. Don't comment; It is common to share your opinions with people you care about, but our close friends here warn everyone that when people we care about get depressed, we will actively help them find ways and provide them with various guidance. The starting point is good, but for the depressed patients themselves, it is really shameful. We did bad things with good intentions. The really useful words are: "What can I do to make you feel better?"
7. Don't compare; Unless you have experienced depression and have a deep understanding of the feelings of depression, don't say that you understand their feelings easily. Even if you are helping them alleviate their depression, it may directly lead to the termination of your conversation and become an embarrassing chat.
8. Try to understand the feeling of depression; You can learn something about depression by yourself and avoid some misunderstandings. When you know the basic knowledge of depression, you can give more help to people you care about. At the same time, there are many characteristics of depression that need further discussion.
9. Patience has magical power; Patience is the strongest support for those who care. When you are patient with the people you care about, you are sending a signal to tell them that no matter how long it takes, no matter what kind of treatment you receive, no matter what kind of difficulties you will experience, because I am by your side. This patience has a very magical power. With this patience, hope will follow. For patients with depression, hope is the most rare.
Giving support and help to patients with depression is tantamount to walking a tightrope. You should pay attention to what you should and should not do. What to say and what not to say; But remember, as long as you are around, even if you just ask, "What can I do for you?" Can bring infinite power.