Everyone's values are very different, so the standards and expressions of "filial piety" will also be very different. A warm concern may be a filial piety, a long-term companionship and a filial piety. It is filial piety not to forget the material layer. Filial piety is children's selfless love for their parents, and it is a heartfelt emotion. Since it is an emotion, it also needs to "do what you like".
So, for unmarried men and women, when you face a spouse and a marriage, how can you measure each other's character in a short time? In addition to long-term companionship and understanding, the author believes that the behavior embodied in "filial piety" can best explain the problem.
The in-depth implementation of "filial piety first, obedience first" can better reflect the responsibility for marriage. This sentence is not difficult to understand. Whether a person can manage a marriage well depends on whether he has the quality of filial piety to his parents.
Although marriage is free, before a man and a woman get engaged, they need to go through a big review of the personality of both parents. Even in many places, the prospective daughter-in-law (son-in-law) will set up some tests of personality and ability stipulated by customs for the first time. Marriage is an important event in our life, and parents will strictly control it and dare not neglect and relax.
I think it is necessary for parents to intervene reasonably, because parents, as others, can maintain the necessary rationality, measure their children's feelings and play the role of the first barrier to marriage. Although many parents value family conditions now, it is undeniable that the "filial piety" of young people occupies the most important position.
The four-year relationship between Xiaoxiang and Tingting originally ended at the end of this year, but at the engagement ceremony of proposing marriage, Xiaoxiang was temporarily divorced by a small incident.
Xiaoxiang lost his father when he was a child, and his mother raised him with great pains. Her mother is gentle and honest. Xiaoxiang's grandfather's family is originally a scholarly family, and her mother has always embodied the quality of a delicate woman. It is this good family style that has been deeply affecting Xiaoxiang.
After graduating from graduate school, Xiaoxiang found a good job. After gaining a foothold in the city, he sold the house in his hometown and settled in the city. My mother is in good health and is a dance teacher in the community. Although there are only mothers and sons in the family, Xiaoxiang, who eats the net, takes good care of this family.
In the eyes of all friends, Xiaoxiang is a very good man. This outstanding performance is that his personality and principles are convincing. This kind of man relies on skill and character, regardless of nepotism, relationship or sophisticated calculation, he can stand in society. He really has his own advantages. Therefore, it is inevitable that he is madly pursued by the opposite sex.
Tingting lost her mother many years ago, but her father later remarried. Both of them came from single-parent families. At this point, Tingting and Xiaoxiang often find empathy and frustration. In her body, Xiaoxiang can find her own shadow. Maybe that's how he chose her.
After four years of love, the marriage between Xiaoxiang and Tingting was finally put on the agenda. According to the local marriage custom, Xiaoxiang's mother needs to propose marriage, which is also an engagement.
At the wedding reception, Xiaoxiang's prospective father-in-law didn't come to the table. As a junior, he asked Tingting's stepmother politely.
"Aunt, uncle how hasn't come yet? Where is he? Are you dissatisfied with the conditions of our family's proposal? If you have any comments, you can make them in person. Tingting and I really love each other, so we must fully respect the conditions you put forward at the wedding. "
Although engagement is only an informal engagement ceremony, it is an important turning point for young people to further their marriage. The content of marriage is important, but the more etiquette, the more you can see the character of a family or a person. No matter what the woman's condition is, we should respect the customs and etiquette before marriage, which is the lifelong wish of parents and an experience that cannot be ignored.
Tingting ignored this point. She just wants to get married and start a family with Xiaoxiang as soon as possible and live in her dream wedding room as soon as possible. As for the rest, it doesn't matter. However, Tingting's stepmother doesn't think so. In the face of Xiaoxiang's questioning, she said such a few words.
"Ahem, I'm sorry, it's our fault, this matter ..." Stepmother prevaricated and couldn't answer.
Xiaoxiang is a sensitive person. His stepmother's prevarication and apology seemed to have sensed something was wrong. At this time, Tingting took over and said, "Dear, don't worry, our family is very satisfied with you. My father is not feeling well. He went back to the hotel to rest. Eat first. "
After hearing this, the stepmother threw away the bowl chopsticks directly and cursed Tingting: "Do you deserve to be a daughter?" He is your father. How long has he been waiting for this day? You are really unfilial. "
Say that finish, stepmother wiped her tears and went directly to the hotel room. Xiaoxiang quickly followed and decided to find out the reason.
It turns out that Tingting's father had many bad habits in his early years, especially drinking. Every time I recall the scene where my father was drunk and hit someone, Tingting couldn't help feeling scared. Because of his father's evil deeds, he developed alcoholic hepatitis and eventually developed hepatitis. Over the years, his father repented and his illness was controlled.
Tingting's original intention of not letting her father attend the wedding banquet was to hope that her father's illness would not be transmitted to others, and she did not want her father to get drunk again on this important occasion.
After knowing the reason, Xiaoxiang broke off the marriage relationship on the spot and sternly reprimanded Tingting: "I won't marry if I post it backwards!" " Are you still human? These questions, are they still questions? I don't care how you treat me, at least you are a woman who doesn't know how to be filial. You can do this to your father today and you will do this to me in the future, so I can't marry you. "
Marriage is the long-cherished wish of every man and woman who love each other, but the hope carried by marriage is not only the result of the love between husband and wife, but also the expectation of parents who think about it day and night. Marriage is a matter for husband and wife, because no one can pave the way for marriage in your. We need to bear all the responsibilities after marriage alone, but marriage is a matter for two families, because to a certain extent, children can get married and start a family, which includes the efforts of parents. They want their children's married life to be richer and healthier than their own.
Therefore, in China families, children must fully consider their parents' emotions and opinions when they get married.
Some readers will criticize Xiaoxiang and his fiancee Tingting in their articles. Isn't it all for everyone's good? Is this wrong? I think Tingting's starting point is not wrong. What she cares about is everyone's safety and the atmosphere at the scene, but in dealing with family relations, she did not use her daughter's identity to reasonably and effectively express her original intention of not letting her father sit at the table. In other words, Tingting is concerned that there is only one way not to let her father sit? I don't think so.
It seems a pity that a small incident stopped their love, but it is actually a good thing, because Tingting and Xiaoxiang have different views. This potential contradiction is bound to break out after marriage. It is better to be together before marriage than to divorce later.