Today, I will continue to learn the basic principles of noodle technology in influencing technology. 1, ask yourself what is the behavioral motivation of using noodle technology? 2. Form a positive, understanding, accompanying and guiding attitude in the relationship that reflects the technical intention. 3. Noodle technology should be a supportive challenge and a gentle technology. Teacher Cao used the mother's attitude in the parent-child relationship as an example: Maybe the mother didn't enter the child's world, so her ability means that she is poor and incompetent to the child. If the mother assumes "I'm fine" and "the children can't live without me" ... remind the consultant to have a clear understanding of quality technology-aiming at contradictions rather than people who ask for help. 4. Different people have different sensitivities, treat them differently, use them cautiously, strengthen or maintain the participation role in the consultation relationship, and change the catalyst rather than the controller of the participants. 5. According to the evaluation of the degree of attention, anxiety level, the intensity of changing desire, listening ability and other acceptance ability of the help seekers, it is decided to choose noodle technology as the main index. 6. Exception: When the helper violates the law and poses danger to himself or others, it is necessary to establish a face-to-face reflection at the initial stage of consultation.
Chapter VI Influence Technology-Surface Quality
Use face-to-face technology to help customers test the results of their actions, rather than let them defend their actions. Noodles must be used with caution, so as not to increase the behavior or pattern (defense mode) that consultants may need to eliminate or change. Basic principle of surface quality reaction
1. The motivation to use noodles must be removed at any time. Face quality is a means to actively provide constructive and instructive feedback.
It can be understood that there is a motive behind every action. In an ideal consulting situation, every verbal and non-verbal information we have will reflect some technical intentions and some gestures. Attitude produces relationships, and relationships in turn affect attitudes. These are the inner behaviors that we need to be aware of.
Face quality emphasizes positivity and constructiveness, not confrontation. This determines that facial gestures should be understanding, companionship, respect and trust. This is a supportive challenge and a gentle technology.
When confrontation arises, it is like thinking that I am reasonable and I love you, so you should listen to my parents, or I know better than you, and I am more capable than you, so I will give you guidance. Children may not think that they are right, or they may understand that you are saying: You are more capable than me, which means that I am poor and incompetent. When the two sides feel that the gap is far away, they will have a confrontational attitude. In order to avoid confrontation, parents may need to get rid of two assumptions: everything I say is right, and children must listen to my advice to survive. Remove assumptions and deal with confrontation problems.
Psychological counselors are the continuation of this family relationship, and make up for the shortcomings of these relationships in the consulting room. Consultants need to have a clear understanding, and they must be careful to avoid confrontation and defense.
2, quality should only be aimed at the contradictions in the problem, not at the people who ask for help, to avoid blaming the quality reaction.
Citing specific examples in behavior shows that you are not making right or wrong judgments and fuzzy inferences through tone and body language.
In fact, this kind of guidance will have different sensitivities and feelings for different people. We need to use it according to the different situations or reactions of those who ask for help.
The premise of noodle technology is that consultants are willing to maintain or strengthen their participation role in the consulting relationship. Otherwise, do not use surface reaction. Before trying to respond face to face, psychological counselors should first consider the level of relationship with help seekers.
This is to remind myself repeatedly. The subject of change must be the person who asks for help. We are participants, supporters and catalysts. But not the controller of the process.
4. The ability of help-seekers to accept noodle reaction is the main index to determine the opportunity of noodle technology. Help-seekers can only respond to noodles if they have the ability to test themselves with noodles.
The purpose of noodle quality is to help self-test, improve the ability of reflection and intelligence, and so on. It means that before face-to-face reaction, we should first judge the level of attention, anxiety, desire for change and listening ability of the helped person.
Generality: the degree of being listened to and accepted. The earlier the relationship is established, the less likely it is to be listened to and accepted.
Exception: In case of violation of the law or danger to yourself or others, it is necessary to have a face-to-face response in the early stage of the consultation process.
Thinking: Why do you need to use noodle technology at an early stage in dangerous situations?
Continue to learn noodle technology today. Face-to-face technology is used to deal with the inner contradictions and behavioral inconsistencies faced by help seekers at present, which occurs in the case of * * * friendliness and harmony. Help seekers need time and space to respond, so avoid making noodles at the end. Psychological counseling emphasizes the subjectivity, initiative and spontaneity of help seekers. The core values of psychological counselors should be to put humanistic care in the first place, and to help those seeking help out of the crisis requires stable technology. Temperament and behavior habits have developed manipulative and active help seekers, and noodle technology is a challenge. Psychological counselors want clients to treat you as an ally rather than an enemy, so using face-to-face technology should pay attention to the basis of posture and relational posture, which is the first step to solve contradictions. It takes time and space for the helper to realize his contradictory posture. Teacher Cao answers questions: In the hotline work, we should help those who are under great pressure and emotional confusion. In an emergency, we should first do crisis intervention to deal with the emotional crisis of the help seekers, and then do psychological counseling after the emotions are stable. Therefore, the premise of the hotline is to evaluate the attitude of the helper, and the focus of the work is the purpose and mental state of the helper. For those who are anxious and seek resources, they need to be referred again (psychological consultation or psychiatric examination in the hospital).
Chapter VI Influence Technology-Surface Quality
Kohut once said: "Resolute and invincible, affectionate without temptation." Resolutely without hostility is a bit like our superficial attitude. Very challenging. But the challenge is not to challenge the dignity of the individual, but to challenge his judgment of self-worth. On the basis of affection, friendliness and harmony, it is a challenge for him to understand and face inner contradictions together.
It was a crisis yesterday. Based on the assumption of crisis, noodle technology may be used before the early relationship is established. To some extent, crisis intervention and psychological counseling are two different things. When we encounter a crisis in consultation, we need to deal with it first. It may be necessary to use powerful means to get him into his own reflection. Face-to-face reaction is a means for us to use the mind and consciousness of the helper strongly.
Another kind of crisis event is called emotional crisis. Dialogue is useless when the other person is in a state of special anxiety and separation and is overwhelmed by emotions. It is necessary to help him deal with unstable and fluctuating emotions through emotional stability skills. Let him take back some energy and continue to consult when he can face his heart.
Basic principles of surface quality
5. Consultants don't just pursue temporary success. After the interview, give the helper enough time to respond and discuss the effect of the response. Therefore, at the end of the consultation, it is not appropriate to make a face-to-face response.
6. Don't put too much pressure on the helper with noodle reaction in a short time.
7. Continuous use of two surface reactions should be avoided. Because it may be too strong. You should choose something that is easy to succeed in the noodle reaction. It is immoral and ineffective to overuse and abuse noodle technology without expressing the humanistic care of the helper.
Kindness is the core value of consulting values. What kind of technical intention we use needs to put humanistic care in the first place. For vulnerable help-seekers, and those who are experiencing severe stress or extreme emotional tension, it is best to completely avoid using noodle technology. Contrary to dealing with crises and dangers.
The gender and cultural background of customers will also have an impact on the effect of facial response. Facial reaction is more suitable for those who are controlling and take the initiative to ask for help. They are more self-centered and less considerate of others. People with oriental cultural background may react more strongly to noodles and feel the challenges and even attacks in noodles more sensitively. No matter how the client reacts, the counselor should let the client regard you as an ally, not an enemy.
You can contact the double-detained investigators, who also need to ask the respondents. Through information collection, find connections, find contradictions, and use logic to lead to facts. They will use more noodles. But it's not an alliance. It may be some kind of hostility. Therefore, it is very important for us to work with our children and the people we serve, and we should pay attention to the foundation of the relationship.
Finally, the quality of face is to make the helper aware of his own contradictions and conflicts. Only "realization" can not solve the conflict, but it is the first step to solve the conflict. After that, we need to discuss more and use intervention strategies for these parts that appear disharmony repeatedly. However, after face-to-face reaction, the awareness of conflict and contradiction is not immediate, and it may take some time, which is the limitation of face-to-face reaction.
Make love.