Empathy in conversation is to carefully consider what the other person needs, try to think for the other person and make the other person feel comfortable and interesting. Only by putting yourself in the conversation can we avoid the trap of self-talk and awkward silence, give others the opportunity to express themselves and make the conversation warm and interesting. To do this, you need to be interested in others, pay attention to their responses to you, and decide how to continue the conversation according to the responses. Also pay attention to the giving and asking for information, consider each other's needs and expectations, and think about what you can provide to others and what information you hope to get from others.
Second, three practical skills of empathy
In order to put ourselves in the conversation, the author introduced three practical skills to us: external contact, topic selection and emotional communication.
One is external contact.
External contact refers to the empathy with the help of clothes, facial expressions and body movements. In social situations, people have short contact time. Appropriate clothes and image will make others feel comfortable, and then they will have the desire to communicate with you. You should pay attention to whether your clothes are appropriate and whether your facial expressions and body movements are natural. External contact based on consideration for others is the first step to realize empathy.
The second is the topic selection.
When choosing a topic of conversation, we should first pay attention to choosing a topic that can make the other person talk, that is, an open topic. To start an open topic, you can't simply ask others yes or no, but choose questions that allow others to participate in the conversation and express their views.
Besides, if you want to make the conversation lively and interesting, you must be an interesting person. Only by becoming an interesting person first can others be attracted by your conversation. You need to constantly expand your knowledge, take the initiative to find the interesting and friendly side of others and prepare more interesting questions.
Avoid sensitive topics when choosing topics. You need to know each other's point of view first, and have a dialogue on the basis of equal information, so as to better avoid embarrassing topics for yourself and others.
In addition, be careful not to ask professional questions in social situations. Once you come across a topic that embarrasses you and your partner, you can avoid an embarrassing conversation by being vague or telling some white lies.
The third is emotional communication.
Emotional communication refers to deciding what to say or not to say by observing people's emotions in different situations. To do this, first of all, you should learn to observe the real thoughts behind occasions and people's emotions, put yourself in each other's shoes and arrange conversations according to each other's needs. Secondly, you should learn to listen, learn to listen to each other's implication, and find a good opportunity to participate in the conversation while listening.