Emotional intelligence mainly refers to people's emotions, emotions, frustration tolerance and other qualities. Including self-awareness, self-motivation, awareness of other people's emotions, interpersonal relationships and so on. People's success depends largely on emotional intelligence; People's happiness is also related to emotional intelligence. Gratitude begins with respecting the elderly.
"Filial piety education" is the starting point of EQ training.
Nowadays, many parents are very caring for their children, but they often ignore filial education. If children are not filial to their elders, there is no way to be grateful to others.
I often guide children to lend a helping hand when adults are in trouble. For example, adults have a cold, and children should be concerned. When the two children were born, my parents participated in raising them together, which made their growth suffer a lot. Gao Chen caught a cold once when she was a baby. My mother was sitting on the human tricycles with her baby in her arms. The tricycle overturned on the road, and my mother protected the child, but she fell on her face and was badly swollen. It took more than half a year to get back to normal. I often talk about this matter, so the two children are more grateful and naturally very kind and filial to their grandparents. After the two children go to college, they basically don't forget to greet their grandparents every week.
◆ "Thanksgiving" should be understood and expressed.
Don't forget to say hello to your elders. When the elders are in a bad mood, they should care about it. I usually have any difficulties, so I choose some to discuss with my two children. When two children were in primary school, I specially gave them a mobile phone shared by two people, mainly to express greetings to elders and teachers by text messages during festivals. "Self-motivated" and "normal mind" are two sides of a whole.
◆ "Self-motivated" or "normal"? It varies from person to person.
Normal mind and self-motivation are a pair of contradictory unity, so we should focus on different children's education in different scenes. For example, more normal education should be given to impatient children; Children with quiet personalities should be given more self-motivated education.
Without self-motivation, children often accomplish nothing. Therefore, adults should encourage children to look to the future. No child is not motivated. Parents should see their children's initiative in communicating with others and hobbies, and discover their potential value from the pursuit of interests. When you enlarge the bright spots with microscope-like eyes, children will appear sunny and enterprising.
◆ How can I help children look at "normal mind" and "self-motivated"?
Children are more motivated, so I do more normal education. I always educate two children. Everyone has many advantages, which are not as good as others. Don't be too reluctant to get what you can't get, but see your own shortcomings.
The child wanted to be a good student in primary school, but he never got what he wanted. Young children have also achieved excellent results, ranking fourth in several elections, but there are only two or three students in a class, so they have never been in the round. Before the third grade, I studied in Ruian Experimental Primary School, where her mother taught. In the fourth grade, I began to study in Anyang Experimental Primary School in Rui 'an City as the principal. Taking care of it may be human nature. In the sixth grade, the teacher asked me if I should take care of it. I said I couldn't take care of it on purpose, and then I never regarded it as a three-good student again. The child felt a little sorry.
In my opinion, there are regrets in life, and leaving a little regret in the process of growing up will be a very special and precious wealth. I said to my children, "Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It is unrealistic to think that everything is the best. Do what you can. " When her children went to primary school, she didn't do well as a student, which gave her a rare sense of normality. I didn't care. I thought it was a good move. Be a man with responsibility.
◆ "Responsibility" needs to be cultivated from an early age.
In my childhood memory, once my mother took us to buy snacks. In order to save money, my mother only bought my brother's share and didn't eat it herself. Although this incident is small, it makes me feel my mother's love, and it also makes me more determined to study hard for my family to get rid of poverty. Because of this personal experience, I also intend to let my children feel the responsibility of the family.
If I go home late at night, I will call my two children in advance; When I am on a business trip, whenever I get on the plane and stay in a hotel, I will report my two children's safety. This seems like a trivial matter, but it can not only convey affection to children, but also show a responsibility to let family members worry less.
Influenced by me, the two children will call us regularly after they go to college; If you encounter something special, or get sick, or go out on campus, you will contact us in time to avoid our worries.
◆ Let children know what their parents have done.
I always try my best to make my two children feel the hardships their elders have paid for this family. Before and after the birth of two children, I worked as a part-time lawyer in order to increase my income. I told them all these experiences.
When I was in college, I went to Beijing to do business alone and experienced setbacks at the Shanghai Expo pier. Although this experience has nothing to do with my two children, I often tell them about it, hoping that they can understand my sense of responsibility to my family at that time. At the end of 2007, I specially took my two children to the Fair Pier in the heavy snow to let them feel my "depravity" in those years.
1998, bought a house in the urban area through a bank loan. I often tell my two children stories about how I tried to settle down in downtown Ruian. Two children once said to me, "Dad, don't worry, we will study hard and make money to repay the loan when we grow up." Cultivate courage not afraid of difficulties
◆ Let children know that difficulties are everywhere from an early age.
People will face difficulties all their lives, and both study and life need strong willpower. All children's ambition is to become scientists. I had a heart-to-heart talk with them: scientific research is difficult and sometimes cruel. 100 learning may have to experience 99 failures first; 100 people study, 1 people make achievements, and the other 99 people act as foil. Therefore, as a scientist, the comparison is willpower.
Wenzhou people are good at doing business, and there are many typical businessmen who have fallen down and strengthened around their two children. It is often effective to consciously let two children analyze the deeds of these people.
My eldest brother dropped out of school after junior high school, made bricks first, then set up a factory, and only after going through hardships did he have a rich life. When my two children were young, my nephew Hao also lived in my house. I often tell my nephew Hao the story of his father's entrepreneurship, and naturally the two children often hear it. The examples in Home convey the spirit of suffering.
◆ Let children participate and understand the difficulties of parents.
I have been the principal of Anyang Experimental Primary School in Rui 'an for ten years, and I have encountered several management crises. On one occasion, the local village objected to the return of land after land expropriation, and some of the expropriated land was used for schools, so the villagers went to the school to make trouble, which caused great passivity to my work. I communicated with my two children that day. The two children are very nervous. I said school management is like this. The more difficult it is, the more likely it is to achieve results.
Our school's selection of entrepreneurial parents is intended to hope that students can understand the hardships of their parents' entrepreneurship. I didn't expect to be hyped by the media as "which parent has the most money", and there were abusive voices on the Internet. I also told the two children about it. They went through the whole process and really felt the courage of "Dad laughs at difficulties". Unconsciously, when the two children encounter any difficulties, they often show their peace of mind.