Therefore, we need to correctly understand emotional needs. Emotional demand is human nature and a necessity for human life and survival. People who have no emotional needs may be physically and mentally unhealthy or have an imperfect personality.
1, lack of emotion is inaccurate.
We usually refer to the unsatisfied emotional needs as emotional deficiency. According to my understanding, I don't advocate the word missing. Why? Missing is missing. But when we look back at our life, we should say that all our relatives, parents, brothers and sisters don't love us. They may not be able to give our loved ones enough love-affection, for various reasons. For example, parents may love you very much when you were born, but due to family changes-your mother died when you were 6 years old, then you may lack the care of your biological mother after you were 6 years old. But it doesn't mean you don't have maternal love in your life. To be precise, you just enjoy maternal love for a shorter time than others.
Similarly, in terms of emotions, I really hope that you will change your cognition, stop thinking that you lack emotions, and focus on the "owning" part, think about who cares about you and who friends really help you, and constantly strengthen yourself at your own conscious and subconscious levels:
My dear, my life is full of sunshine. I have a healthy, cheerful, happy and complete life!
I am safe, I have unlimited energy, unlimited wisdom and unlimited love!
I deserve to enjoy all my life, and I want to live an infinitely wonderful life!
I used the word lack of emotion, please understand. Lack means a temporary shortage.
The lack of emotion in China today is mainly manifested in the following two situations:
1, left behind children
With the acceleration of industrialization, there are more and more left-behind jobs in rural areas, which is an indisputable fact. Especially in the southwest and northeast of China, many adults work outside all the year round, while children are left at home. These children live by their grandparents or go to relatives and friends, and they have not been taken care of by their parents for a long time.
Growing up alone when they need the care of their parents most. This situation is really chilling. In the long run, left-behind children breed loneliness, depression, lack and inferiority, which leads to many unimaginable psychological problems. And this feeling deeply affects the child's life.
2. Divorced families
Divorced family, I mean one or both parents died, or parents divorced, living with only one parent, or living with other relatives. I don't live with my biological parents anyway.
Children who grow up in this special family are prone to psychological problems. For example, withdrawn, timid, closed, inferior, irritable, hateful and willful. ...
Divorced families have virtually increased the psychological test for their children.
In addition to the above two aspects, there is also the lack of friendship and love, but the seriousness and harm are not as good as the above two. The lack of friendship and love is closely related to the psychological growth of childhood.
1, bloom yourself
Establish a positive outlook on life and values, try to adjust your mentality, be grateful for everything you have, including food, clothing, housing and transportation, be grateful for the changes in the world, and look at everything with optimism, sunshine and positive eyes.
Work hard, let bygones be bygones, and be full of confidence in the future. Don't be confused, don't be trapped in love, don't be afraid of the future, and don't miss the past.
Accept yourself wholeheartedly and completely, accept all aspects of life, tolerate others, do not complain, entangle, resent or blame yourself, and treat everything with a calm and peaceful attitude.
Believe in yourself, believe in life, and believe that all hardships are to achieve better and stronger yourself!
2. Tell your true feelings
Participate in public welfare activities, spread your love to all aspects, help others, help the widowed, and build good relationships. Let your heart be purer, simpler and calmer.
In the process of interpersonal communication, treat others sincerely, take serving others as the purpose, and help others succeed as their greatest success. Constantly strengthen their sense of responsibility and mission, live up to expectations, selfless dedication.
I remember reading a report that a group of college students went to the welfare home to volunteer. It's full of abandoned children. Maybe there are too many children, and the aunts are too busy, so they all throw their children on the bed and put a bottle in their mouth. These little babies just lay quietly, not crying or making trouble ... Volunteers thought the children were cute and reached out to hug them, but a strange scene happened. Those children are in a daze, neither reaching out nor laughing. When the volunteers tried to help them up, they just kept a posture motionless and didn't mean to get close to the volunteers' arms at all. Obviously, they are rarely hugged, so they don't know what it's like to be hugged ... Personally, they are a manifestation of emotional lack, because no one often hugs them and makes fun of them, so they don't understand what it's like ... I heard that the sequelae of this situation are very serious, and I can't remember the details!
Emotional deficiency refers to a certain kind of people's lack of security in the world, mainly manifested in depression, lack of self-confidence, inferiority, poor communication skills, loneliness and mania. They are on the edge of society, that is, the so-called marginal personality, and they are people who lack care.
People who lack emotion are generally alert, suspicious and smart, and never trust anyone easily, including the closest people. But once you trust a person, you will be loyal wholeheartedly, so it is easy to be used by people who have the will to hurt, which will make their emotions more serious.
This kind of people suffer from a large proportion of depression, often depressed, pessimistic and world-weary, and have a low desire to survive. They are excluded from interpersonal relationships because they will not actively communicate with others, which will make their social space very narrow and spend more time alone. In the eyes of others, such people look silly and honest, and even many people think that such people are weak and incompetent and are often looked down upon.
Actually, this is a misunderstanding. People who lack emotion are indeed vulnerable groups because of personality and psychological problems. For them, emotional intelligence is a serious injury. But they are not stupid, they are also smart and have high IQ, but they are not good at telling what they see through, just like hermits living in a crowd. Their eyes are bright and they can see problems three-dimensionally, while most people usually look at problems in a plane, because we often say that "bystanders see clearly", which is the reason.
People who lack emotion have advantages and disadvantages, and the advantages and disadvantages are in sharp contrast at altitude, just like a student who is good at partial subjects, with 100% in Chinese and zero in mathematics. However, such people are different, and there are differences between them.
People who are also emotionally lacking have different modes of thinking. Some people are good at covering up their weaknesses, with high survival index, strong desire for survival and harmonious communication with others, but they are fragile inside and afraid of being rejected. I like to do things perfectly and have a strong desire for control. I am calm and calm on the surface, but I am confused inside. They are often indecisive and most afraid of facing choices.
Another kind of person who lacks emotion is a common stereotype. Their emotions are directly exposed on their faces. They are taciturn, never gregarious, have poor communication skills and will not please people. They often give people a kind of silence, which makes people embarrassed. Many times I am alone, I have something to say, and there is nothing to shut up. I like to enjoy happiness alone and don't know how to share. This kind of person's pattern is very limited and his world outlook is very narrow. They can only see the space around them and never care about things that have nothing to do with them. Therefore, people who lack feelings are often a big problem in finding a partner, and most of them are single aristocrats.
The above two kinds of emotional deficiency are completely different, in fact, the reason is that emotional intelligence is different. The first kind of person with emotional deficiency belongs to high IQ and high EQ. Although he is a member of the disadvantaged group, he has strong viability and is easy to adapt to the environment. He can observe the changing environment to change his pattern, just like a chameleon. Weak as he is, he is not easy to find. The second kind of people who lack emotion can hardly live in harmony with the environment. They are surrounded by contemptuous eyes and rejected by others. Nobody wants to get close to them, and they don't want to get close to others, much like hedgehogs.
No matter what kind of people are lacking in emotion, they all have one thing in common, that is, they lack love, are afraid of being hurt, are very fragile inside, and have a large proportion of women. 4% of women are emotionally absent, 1% are men. At present, there is no research on why there are gender differences in the world, but in the United States, the proportion is even higher, and 2 out of 30 people lack the feeling of women.
As for why there are people with emotional deficiency, they are borderline personalities in psychology. Basically, they suffered an unfortunate childhood experience, being hurt, abused, or rejected by the surrounding groups. Most of them appear in single-parent families or orphans, and some of them are influenced by bad parents and lack warmth. Such children are often bullied at school.
Moreover, people who lack emotion are manic, easy to get angry and easy to get burned. They have extreme style and violent mentality.
In the final analysis, the lack of emotion is not their fault, but the lack of care and indifference. There is a song that sings very well: "As long as everyone gives a little love, this society will become a beautiful world."
Emotional deficiency refers to the lack of emotional "* * * emotional ability".
The most intuitive feeling of emotional loss is probably an attitude of "worthlessness" towards everything.
Just like you don't want to buy beautiful clothes when you see your good friends, you don't covet the handsome hero in the movie, you don't feel waves when you hear the important news on TV, and you don't feel anything when your classmates confess to you in class. You feel that everything is puzzling.
You don't like making friends, and you think most of the interpersonal relationships in this world are unnecessary. You don't argue, you don't rob, you don't worry. Lack of enthusiasm and passion for life often leads to a state of "mourning".
You like to read other people's minds, and you like to observe appearances. You may pretend to be cheerful outside, but after the crowd recedes, you will immediately return to your original appearance.
Loneliness, autism, unsociable, indifference, avoidance and impatience are the main characteristics of emotional deficiency.
As for love, you don't know love and are not used to being loved. You live carefully, without emotions.
People who lack emotion may have experienced some blows or personality reasons, suppressed themselves excessively and lost themselves.
In my opinion, what is emotional deficiency is that you can't get the care you deserve at the right age.
Left-behind children and widowed elderly people in today's society are typical representatives of emotional deficiency and also serious social problems. We all know that no one wants to leave their families and go out to look for a job. Who doesn't want to be with their families? But how can life go on? People are not iron, they need food, clothing, housing and transportation. People will have more dignity if they live well. For the sake of children and parents, we have to leave them reluctantly, but there is no way. Life is getting harder and harder The rich are getting richer. Can't the poor eat and die? I am not reconciled.
The country is helping them now, but these are inseparable from your support. I hope everyone can care, love and encourage these people in society.
What do you mean by lack of emotion? ：
Emotional deficiency is just a psychological state of people. From a medical point of view, it is also a pathological state called affective disorder.
The external manifestation of emotional deficiency is to establish or produce emotional connection with people and things around you, without interest, goodwill, affinity and passion. There is no sense of existence in society or things, showing indifference or rejection.
According to medical tests, the inner feelings of lack of emotion are warmth, insecurity, lack of sympathy and compassion.
The reasons for the lack of emotion are probably: special physical defects, special experiences and long-term cold growth environment.
Everything has two sides. I also hope that friends can think more actively about society and people and things around them and enjoy the warmth and sunshine.
"There is a loquat tree in the courtyard, which was planted when my wife died. Now it is flourishing."
What the author wants to express is not the season of eating pipa, nor the loquat tree I planted has grown up, but "I miss my dead wife so much." This is the ability of love. If you don't understand, you lack emotion, which is commonly known as "straight male cancer, straight female cancer" in modern times.
Today, we will not discuss the real rights of patients with straight cancer to the opposite sex for the time being, but only their strange brain circuits.
"I'm sick"—"Drink more hot water!"
"I'm in a bad mood"—"Drink more hot water!"
"My period is coming" —— "Drink more hot water!"
"I'm going to bed"—"Good night, be safe!"
What? Can you do it?
They have been taught since childhood to study hard and make progress every day. Why do they study hard? I don't know what is the pursuit of progress every day? I don't know what to do if something goes wrong and you don't study hard every day. Then their parents generally don't care about this reason, just ask for a change of posture and work hard.
That is, their parents and families generally lack and suppress the expression of emotions. Parents never express their feelings and love in front of their children, and the emotional education for their children is basically blank. They only emphasize what is right and wrong, and rarely express their love for their children when they grow up, even if they can walk independently.
Therefore, children who grow up in such an environment generally lack the ability to express their emotions, habitually look at things and solve problems, and basically turn a blind eye to each other's emotional needs and voices. Because they are used to ignoring these feelings, they lack emotional ability.
The lack of emotion is basically the lack of desire.
Is that the desire is not satisfied, and people have no sense of existence.
Emotion. The simplest literal understanding is mood and emotion. In real life, many people need to move their feelings, because it can give him a sense of existence. This is the product of desire. If you are not moved, it is the lack of desire, and the emotional response is the lack of emotion.
However, mankind follows the principle of self-compensation. If these desires and emotions are not directly satisfied by the outside world, they usually project themselves to obtain self-satisfaction.
Lack of corresponding emotional response to external stimuli. Cold to people, expressionless, indifferent to everything around, etc. I am lonely inside, but I won't be moved.
In fact, the lack of emotion does not mean that a person really has no feelings, but a defensive measure that the parties unconsciously start to protect themselves or avoid serious conflicts within themselves.
It seems that the parties have solved some conflicts through isolation, but in fact, the more isolated they are, the stronger their inner conflicts will be, because they are still eager for intimacy. However, due to past experience or improper attribution, such people constantly evade and resist when they really face a new relationship, and then suppress it again and sacrifice their true inner desires, thus maintaining a superficial harmony and calm.
They convince themselves that they don't need relationships, they can solve everything, they are highly independent, and even very wary of establishing deep relationships with others, because they are afraid that once they have established deep relationships with others, they will rely on others, and when others leave them, they will suffer, so in order to avoid this situation, they simply have no feelings, and they are highly independent.
But who can be highly independent? Isolated people are extremely vulnerable in the face of life turmoil, and the high degree of independence at ordinary times is only an illusion under a stable life. Once life fluctuates, withdrawn people often lack social support.
Therefore, for people with emotional deficiency, the first step of improvement is to ask such people to be highly introspective, constantly know themselves and improve their self-righteous cognition. Furthermore, if possible, it is more reliable to consult.
Emotional deficiency is similar to emotional indifference, and there is no corresponding emotional response to any stimulation of people and things outside. At the same time, his inner experience is poor, and his facial expression is cold and dull. Treating relatives and friends as passers-by, indifferent to personal interests, indifferent to joys and sorrows, more common in the early stage of schizophrenia and brain organic psychosis.
If clinical organic diseases are ruled out in hospital clinical examination, emotional loss can also be manifested as numbness, indifference, lack of sense of responsibility, lack of sense of rules, lack of gratitude, extreme selfishness and no fear of life.
I once saw a mother whose child fell under a stool. She doesn't feel anything. Her bag is packed and she is out. The old man at home rushed to pick up the child.
What is the apathy caused by non-organic diseases?
First, there is a lack of real communication with people.
Secondly, in the initial stage of his life (infancy), he didn't get real love and care, so he didn't know what emotion was, and even he didn't need it. The baby's earliest tender heart has been covered with steel armor.
Third, when I grow up, I rarely have sincere contact with people. My heart is getting colder and colder, and my skin is getting harder and harder.
Therefore, if there are not so many indifferent people in society, we should try our best to give more care and love to the people around us.
People's growing environment includes not only family, but also other people around them. Many times, we are other people in the Zhou family, so we try to give people more warmth, and their hearts will feel that they are warmed by heat, so life will not be so cold, and society will have more temperature and peace.
Always remember that only love can make society better.