In some cases, it is difficult to establish a pure consulting relationship. For example, psychological teachers in colleges and universities not only teach students, but also serve as psychological counselors. A teacher once shared this: "Once my students came to consult." I was a course in his class at that time. When I was playing psychological games for the whole class, I found that he needed individual psychological counseling and suggested that he go to the consulting room after class. He came to see me as soon as he got to the consulting room. I told him the avoidance principle, and he hesitated: "Teacher, you'd better help me!" " "I took the case. During a consultation, he suddenly said, "Teacher, I don't want to attend your class now. ".Really? Can you tell me why? ""because, in the consulting room, you are a person consulting for me; In class, you are teaching the whole class. I don't feel well. "We can't know what makes this student uncomfortable. Is it because the teacher cares about all his classmates that makes him uncomfortable, or does it make him uncomfortable that the teacher knows his secrets? Or other reasons? But what is certain is that the dual role of "teacher plus consultant" has brought confusion to visitors.
Consultants live in real life and sometimes encounter some unavoidable situations. For example, a consultant once encountered such a thing: "Once, an acquaintance suddenly called me and wanted to consult me. I am going crazy now. I don't know what stupid thing I will do tonight unless I talk to someone! ! After an emergency meeting in the consulting room, I realized how bad his condition was: his eyes were red; There is an unpleasant smell on your body, and the wine is mixed with others; Hair and beard are messy. What a contrast this has formed with his consistent image! At first, he was too excited to say a complete sentence. I learned this sudden and heartbreaking story. He couldn't bear it, couldn't sleep, drank too much, wanted to commit suicide, and wanted crazy revenge. After pouring out the storm, he asked helplessly,' What should I do? What should I do? Promise me you won't do those stupid things when he leaves. After all these years, we have never met again. It should be a deliberate act. I know his inner feelings: when he was most helpless, he told me his deepest thoughts, but later it made him feel uncomfortable and insecure. Also, I am associated with his lowest state, and he doesn't like that state very much, so he doesn't want to bring back sad memories because he sees me. I once became a straw, but I can't be friends anymore. The consultant later became a staunch supporter of the avoidance principle.
The principle of avoidance in consultation is to protect the interests of both consultants and visitors. The pure consultation-interview relationship not only helps visitors to open their hearts, but also helps consultants to maintain an objective and neutral position. If other relationships are involved, it may affect the relationship between counseling and visiting, and sometimes it will affect the follow-up relationship between the two sides.