We can try various methods to divert our attention, such as exercising, shopping, traveling, or solving problems through reading and studying ... but many times, we will find that this method may cure the symptoms rather than the root cause, and the pain and confusion will reappear after a short leave. ...
According to the psychologist Professor Li Junqi, people enter the consulting room for various reasons.
When you want to do psychological counseling, please take a look at the following psychological counseling guide first. Believe me, it will be of great help to you.
Do psychological counseling, you should know:
0 1
Find a clinical counselor.
In fact, most psychologists are divorced from the daily life of ordinary people in Qian Shan.
Psychology is really tall. They toss monkeys to study numbers, and the results are applied in countless industries (of course, there are countless achievements, and no one knows what to do).
Think about the dignified and elegant psychological counselors in film and television works, drinking coffee, wearing famous brands and working in high-end office buildings. As long as they listen to other people's stories and help analyze and persuade them, they can make a lot of money, work easily and live a carefree life.
In fact, this is a beautiful imagination of this profession. The job of a counselor is not as simple as listening to stories. Is to help your confidants solve problems. All patients with psychological problems can be cured without talking, and a patient's service period may be very long.
What you are looking for is a psychological counselor who has received systematic training and is good at clinical psychotherapy.
02
Take the initiative to choose your consultant.
Take the initiative to choose your consultant before you start consulting.
The essence of psychological counseling is the relationship between people. Real life, real consultation and visiting relationship: it is not God who saves people, but the profound dialogue and support between people.
The person who can talk to the counselor about himself is not a sick person, but a brave person.
Many people are nervous when they consult for the first time, because they don't know what will happen in consultation, and I can't tell you what will happen, because what will happen really needs experience. We won't have an established script. What happens, what we talk about and what we experience are all created with you as the leading factor and you as the consultant.
It is the work of the subconscious to the subconscious.
Although the essence of psychological counseling is that all roads lead to the same goal, psychological counselors in different schools do use languages that they don't understand each other and use very different methods to help visitors solve problems.
03
Choose a trusted counselor.
You should choose a counselor who makes you feel you can build trust.
If at first, for whatever reason, you feel that you can't trust this consultant, don't pay attention to the thoughts in your head: "Everyone says this is a good consultant, I should try" and so on.
Because in psychological counseling, visitors need to establish a relationship with the counselor, in which you can present yourself safely enough.
And psychological counselors will do consulting work through this special relationship.
A good consulting relationship allows you to:
In a relatively stable and safe time and space, express your fear, tension, shame and anxiety with peace of mind;
I realized that the consultant's response was gentle and without any judgment;
I feel that in this relationship, both positive and negative expressions are accepted and understood;
Gradually re-express yourself in such a relationship.
It is not technology that drives visitors to change, but relationships. From a human point of view, the calmness of the therapist-acknowledging and accepting each other's advantages and disadvantages-will drive the calmness and self-acceptance of the visitors.
04
Psychological counseling has strict settings.
You have to understand that psychological counseling is strictly set.
Psychological counselors always maintain an objective identity in the process of psychological counseling, respect visitors, do not impose personal knowledge and judgment on visitors, and do not make decisions for visitors.
During the period of psychological consultation, in principle, it is forbidden for psychological counselors to have any private contact with visitors outside the psychological consultation room, and psychological counselors cannot seek the satisfaction and realization of personal feelings and practical interests (accepting guests, eating, giving gifts, etc.). ) in psychological counseling.
The general consultation setting is to meet once a week at a fixed time and place for 50-60 minutes each time.
The frequency of once a week can not only get immediate support in the consulting environment, but also keep the state of real life; Fixed time and place can help to form a "treatment container".
05
* * * Agree to the length of negotiation &; target
This consultation plan is not decided by the psychological counselor and needs to be worked out with the visitors.
Generally speaking, if the visitor accepts the counselor's plan, then the plan is correct.
If you encounter different problems after implementation, you need to negotiate and adjust the consulting plan again!
The counselor will help the visitors determine the general counseling goal in the first few times, and this goal will be adjusted continuously with the deepening of treatment.
Because one function of psychological counseling is to help you understand yourself.
06
You can't "solve the problem" once or twice.
Many visitors think that psychological counseling is "prescribing prescriptions", asking psychological counselors to give advice directly and tell themselves what to do, or have high expectations for psychological counseling, hoping to solve psychological problems in one consultation.
This is not an excuse for the counselor.
Because: in fact, psychological counseling will not give advice directly. The job of psychological counselors is to cooperate with visitors to discuss and face the current difficulties, guide them to see their own resources and advantages, explore and change plans, and put them into action at the same time, effectively solve problems, promote personality growth, and finally achieve "helping others and helping themselves." As the saying goes, "It is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish".
At the same time, psychological counseling plays a role in the psychological level of visitors. The psychological problems of visitors are related to their personalities and life experiences. Simple psychological problems do seem to have an "immediate" effect, but deep psychological problems will be like icebergs for a long time. Therefore, psychological counseling is bound to be a continuous and difficult process of change. Without strong motivation for help and change, without permanent determination and perseverance, ice and snow are difficult to melt.
Therefore, if you really want to help from the heart, it will always take some time to establish this relationship.
Of course, counselors also have the responsibility to give visitors confidence in treatment during the consultation process.
07
You can take the initiative to end the consultation.
Don't worry about being kidnapped by the counselor. Visitor consultation is entirely voluntary. No matter when the counseling relationship is established, during the counseling process, or when the counseling relationship ends, the counselor will fully respect the personal choices of the visitors, and the counselor will not make subjective coercion.
You can take the initiative to end the consultation or discuss with TA.
A counselor is not a wizard. He has no ability to control your thinking and behavior. .
But please discuss frankly with your counselor why you want to stop consulting.
Because the consultation process is not always warm and pleasant, the consultant will give you some challenges at the right time.
Talk frankly with your counselor about why you want to stop counseling, and the counselor will have the opportunity to give you further and more appropriate help and advice.
08
Please don't give up asking for help
You can give up this counselor, but please don't give up asking for help.
It is possible to break the vicious circle of mental health, but it will take some time. Remember, improving mental health is a slow and gradual process. It takes time to change thinking and behavior. It takes time to change your mind and body. There is no quick solution in this world. You can't expect to learn to play the piano overnight, nor can you develop new habits and skilled mental health skills overnight. Just as you can't heal physical wounds quickly, you can't heal psychological wounds quickly. Slow growth is the norm. Please be patient and persistent. We will help you in this journey of change. Our unique tools can solve fundamental problems, including scientific habits to help you change better and faster. If you want to find a psychological counselor after reading this manual, how to evaluate a good psychological counseling relationship will become an important yardstick for whether this counselor is suitable for you. And a consultant who can provide professional, stable and safe relationships often needs long-term professional training. In the process of training, psychological counselors will also see their own growth problems, and under repeated deliberate cognition and practice, bring this peace and security to the consulting room and give visitors. Please don't lose heart. Just like love, you can give up your predecessor who is not suitable for you, but please don't give up love; You can give up the consultant who is not suitable for you, but please don't give up asking for help!
Please believe that there is always one for you.
09
warn
Last but not least, pay attention to safety.
If you want to establish a real consultation relationship with a psychological counselor, as long as you are a regular psychological counselor, you will sign a contract first.
Because two people are alone in a room, the security problem is actually two-way. Both consultants and visitors should pay attention to personal safety.
If the clinic is not located in hospitals, schools, office buildings and other places, pay attention to safety. In order to protect themselves, general consultants will arrange people to stay in the reception room in case of emergency.
But for visitors, if you think it is unsafe to "lock the door" in the consultation room, for example, you boldly hope to close the door without locking it. A good counselor can understand.
If you really feel unsafe, leave immediately. Protecting yourself is the most important thing.
In fact, everyone has psychological problems, and ordinary people also need psychological counseling to help you explore your heart.