People often talk about loneliness in real life. Loneliness is a subjective state of social isolation, accompanied by the painful experience that individuals feel isolated from others or really lack contact (Jeny de Jong-Giered, 1987). Edith Anne peplau and Daniel.
Perllen (1982) defines loneliness as an unpleasant and painful subjective experience or psychological feeling. Generally speaking, short-term or accidental loneliness will not cause psychological and behavioral disorders, but long-term or severe loneliness will cause some emotional disorders and reduce people's mental health level. Loneliness will also increase alienation and alienation from others and society, and alienation and alienation will strengthen people's sense of loneliness, which will inevitably lead to physiological disorders of alienated individuals over time.
Most people have experienced the pain of loneliness. Relevant statistics show that loneliness has become a common problem of modern people. Psychologists estimate that as society becomes richer, this kind of worry about loneliness and interpersonal relationships will continue to grow.
1. The definition and measure of loneliness are different. Loneliness is an individual's feeling about the quantity and quality of his social interaction. This definition of loneliness helps us to understand why some people feel happy even if they are far away from the crowd, while others often experience loneliness even if they are surrounded by people. Nowadays, many new people complain that there are not many real friends around them. For these people, when the need for frank communication with some people is not met, there will be a strong sense of loneliness. In this sense, loneliness is a personal experience. Although everyone feels lonely, and loneliness comes and goes with the change of environment, accordingly, loneliness is considered as a personality characteristic. Some personality scales are designed to measure people's overall sensitivity to loneliness. The test of a university with this scale shows that interpersonal problems are still the main obstacle to college students' mental health.
2. Reasons for Loneliness People who feel lonely often give harsh comments on others and themselves when socializing. Many lonely people lack some basic social skills, which prevents them from establishing lasting relationships with others.
(A) the negative evaluation of others and self
Lonely people may be more introverted, more anxious, more sensitive to rejection and more prone to depression. Lonely people spend less time with friends, don't date often, rarely attend meetings and have no close friends. In interpersonal communication, their evaluation of themselves and each other is extremely negative. This conclusion also helps to explain why loneliness is still a problem for many students on campus.
(B) lack of basic social skills
Some people are willing to associate with others, but once they have a more important and long conversation, they will have difficulties and lack basic social skills. There is no opportunity to train social skills, so it is difficult to have lasting friends. They are not interested in their partners, often unable to comment on what the other party says, and rarely provide information about themselves to the other party. On the contrary, these lonely people talk more about themselves and often introduce new topics related to their interests, and tend to play a "passive social role", that is, they are unwilling to make too much effort in conversation. So we often find it boring to associate with lonely people. They don't know how this way of communication drives away potential friends. Therefore, if others expect them to be exposed more, they will be exposed less, and if others don't expect them to be exposed too much, they will be exposed too much. The result is cold or incredible in the eyes of others, and others respond accordingly.
It is difficult for lonely people to establish close friendship with others, because they adopt negative communication methods and lack the necessary social skills. It is often unpleasant to associate with these people, so it is difficult for them to establish interpersonal relationships that help develop social skills. So it's hard to get rid of loneliness. Psychologists believe that through the training of basic social skills, lonely people can get out of the vicious circle of loneliness and are widely used in the practice of psychological counseling and treatment. These projects provide some hope that loneliness does not have to fall into a vicious circle of depression. Loneliness is a personality trait. Loneliness and isolation have different meanings. Loneliness is an individual's feeling about the quantity and quality of his social interaction. This definition of loneliness helps us to understand why some people feel happy even if they are far away from the crowd, while others often experience loneliness even if they are surrounded by people. Nowadays, many new people complain that there are not many real friends around them. For these people, when the need for frank communication with some people is not met, there will be a strong sense of loneliness. In this sense, loneliness is a personal experience. Although everyone feels lonely, and loneliness comes and goes.