The so-called counselor's empathetic, sincere and consistent behavior is as follows:
1, concern for the interests of the parties.
2, can enter the inner world of the parties, understand the feelings, ideas and behaviors of the parties, and pass this understanding to the parties.
3. Accept the parties unconditionally.
4. Respect the uniqueness of all parties involved.
5, internal and external, verbal behavior and nonverbal behavior, and the consistency of emotion, thought and behavior.
6. Open yourself up and accept external feedback.
7. There is no defense in behavior.
Second, the understanding of different subcultures.
Although there are not too many races in Taiwan Province Province, the clients faced by consultants in Taiwan Province Province still have different sub-cultural backgrounds and special values. Visitors' problems are often related to their special subculture background, so counselors must also consider the cultural characteristics of visitors when dealing with their problems. For example, the interpersonal relationship between urban and rural areas has its own characteristics, and the clients handled by consultants come from different cities and regions. The particularity of the client environment must be considered, so an effective consultant must understand different cultures.
Third, the positive views of all parties.
Basically, the consultant has a positive view of the parties, and the consultation can be carried out.
Meaning. The counselor's positive views on the client are as follows:
1. I believe the customer is a valuable person.
I believe that all parties have the will to change.
I believe that the client has the ability to change.
4. Believe that the parties concerned can be trusted.
I believe all parties are willing to take responsibility for themselves.
Fourth, interest and care for people.
Consultants enter the consulting industry because they are interested in people. He has a deep understanding of the internal operation of normal and abnormal behaviors and is familiar with the way of behavior change. Helping the client is because he cares about the client, not for other purposes.
Five, keen listening and observing ability
Counselors need to have keen listening and observation skills, because counselors should not only pay attention to the explicit behavior of the parties, but also go deep into the hidden world of the parties. Consultants should not only listen to the customer's narrative, but also pay attention to the tone of the customer's narrative and observe the changes of the customer's nonverbal behavior. Therefore, if the consultant does not have keen listening and observing ability, it will not produce consulting effect.
Six, good at language dialogue
When consultants interact with clients, although nonverbal behavior is sometimes more important than verbal behavior; However, basically, the consultant's response to the client is mainly language. The consultant must rely on language to accurately reflect the inner world of the client, convey his understanding of the client, and make an appropriate response to the client's narrative. Therefore, consultants need to be good at language dialogue and feel comfortable in it.
Seven, be good at facing the different emotional reactions of the parties.
It is an inevitable negotiation process to assist the parties to discuss and express their emotions. Whether it is frightening violence or depressing sadness, it is a very common counseling situation. Therefore, counselors must be able to face and deal with the emotions of not asking the parties, even if they face different emotions of the parties, they must be calm and confident.
Eight, can let go of personal needs, depending on taking care of the needs of the parties as a priority.
The reason why the consultant is willing to help the client is based on his concern for human happiness. The consultant's assistance to the client is not to satisfy his sense of accomplishment, superiority or show off his ability, but to care for the client. Therefore, in the consultation process, the client is the protagonist, and the consultant must give priority to the welfare of the client.
Be able to face the sad side of life events and face them with humor.
One of the purposes of counseling is to help the parties to look at the major events in life with a positive attitude, even if the seemingly bitter experience has positive significance.
In order to help clients find strength from painful experiences, psychological counselors should first set an example, treat their unsatisfactory things with a positive attitude, and more importantly, transform their negative feelings and thoughts with a humorous attitude.
X. positive self-concept
Cultivating customers' self-confidence and self-affirmation is one of the purposes of consultation. If the consultant has no positive self-concept, there is no way to help the client see the blind spot of the problem. In other words, if the consultant himself has a blind spot somewhere, he can't help the client to deal with similar problems.
In addition, consultants have to face all kinds of customers, and the situation of customers in consultation is very strange. If the consultant does not have a positive self-concept, it is easy to be influenced by the customer's situation, and naturally it is impossible to look at the customer's problems objectively.
XI. Accept yourself
One of the purposes of counseling is to help clients accept themselves, and through self-acceptance, the denied self will be integrated into personality and become the power of self; Similarly, if the consultant can't accept himself, of course, he doesn't know how to help the client accept himself, or even see the blind spot of the client's problem.
Twelve, keen perception
Counselors must have keen perception for two reasons: first, if counselors can perceive their subjective feelings and ideas anytime and anywhere, they can avoid biased views on the clients. Secondly, when assisting clients to discuss and understand problems, counselors must be keenly aware of the changes in their verbal and nonverbal behaviors, so as to help them perceive unconscious feelings and thoughts.
In short, the consultant's keen perception can not only help himself, but also help the client to grow.
Thirteen, continuous self-growth
The maturity of consultants is often related to the consulting effect. The less unfinished events and blind spots a consultant has, the more he can help clients see themselves clearly and solve problems. Therefore, consultants must continue to grow.
Fourteen, open your emotions and experiences.
When necessary, the counselor can disclose his feelings and experiences, which is helpful to the problems of the parties. In addition, another significance of opening yourself up is that the consultant can accept any experience of the client without defense, criticism or value judgment.
Fifteen, to be able to invest in experienced parties, but also to keep a distance.
In the process of consultation, the counselor must immerse himself in the subjective world of the client and empathize with the feelings and thoughts of the client. If the consultant can't enter the subjective world of the client, he can't really understand the client.
On the other hand, the consultant should not lose objectivity because of empathy, let himself be manipulated by the subjective experience of the client, and must keep a distance from the experience of the client.
Sixteen years old, full of energy.
In the process of consultation, the consultant must concentrate on listening to and observing the verbal and nonverbal behavior information of the parties, and must not miss it.
In the process of consultation, the consultant must put his mind into the subjective world of the client, but he must jump out of the subjective world of the client at any time and place and give the client an appropriate response with his own understanding of the client and in line with the theory, experience and consulting objectives.
At the same time, the consultant must be aware of his feelings and thoughts at this moment with keen self-awareness to avoid his subjective personal experience affecting the objectivity of consultation. In short, consulting is a very tiring job. Without abundant energy, consultants are not qualified for this job.
On the other hand, the consultant is a model of the parties. An energetic consultant can give the client a feeling of vigor and vitality, and invisibly encourage the client to lift his spirits and forge ahead.
17. Ability to tolerate vague situations
In the process of assisting the parties to discuss and solve problems, consultants often fall into confusion and ambiguity. Even if the consultant has the proud ability to reel off the cocoon, he will have Jiang Lang's humble self-sighing. In this case, if the consultant does not have the ability to tolerate vague situations, it is easy to get confused or depressed.
In many experiences of life, the most tormenting thing is the ambiguity of the process. This ambiguous situation makes people feel at a loss, unable to grasp, and therefore anxious and helpless. What's more, no matter how many life experiences there are, there is never a final answer. The ambiguous state of water is far from over. If frustration tolerance is an indicator of adaptability, then the ability to tolerate fuzzy situations is the standard of adaptability. Therefore, consultants must have the ability to tolerate vague situations.
Know your strengths and limitations.
Consultants are not perfect, and naturally they have their strengths and weaknesses. Consultants should know which clients their strengths are beneficial to and which clients their weaknesses are harmful to, so as not to mistake others for themselves.
Nineteen, the pursuit of self-realization
The so-called self-realization refers to giving full play to potential. The ultimate goal of consultation is to help the client realize himself, so the consultant must be a person who constantly pursues self-realization. Huang quoted A.H. Maslow's view that self-actualizers have the following characteristics:
1, have a correct and complete perception of reality.
2. Enjoy yourself, others and general natural phenomena.
3. Behavior is spontaneous, simple and natural.
4, pay attention to the problem, not pay attention to yourself.
5, with refined quality and the need for solitude.
6. Independent, not influenced by environment and culture.
7. Maintain an eternal appreciation attitude towards things in life.
8. Have a peak experience from time to time.
9. Identify with the whole human race.
10, accept the value of democracy.
1 1. Only establish deep interpersonal relationships with a few people.
12, with strong ethics.
13, has a perfect and harmless sense of humor.
14, creativity.
15, which can resist the infection of cultural trends.
Twenty, have a professional background and literacy.
Consulting is a professional help work, and consultants must be professionally trained and have professional qualities (please refer to relevant books for the contents that training consultants must have). Basically, when consulting, the consultant must have a theoretical basis, cooperate with good consulting relationship and appropriate consulting technology to help the parties solve problems.