In recent years, people often ask me the secret of educating children. My practice is to care about students as much as my daughter. Similarly, I should educate my daughter like a student.
First, adhere to the principle of integrating theory with practice in family education, take virtue as the main content of family education, set goals step by step, let daughters know that others are the first, and learn to care for and help others.
In my opinion, in education, schools and families are often misplaced. Teachers teach students to do housework, and parents teach students to do homework. School and family education are out of touch, and advantages become disadvantages, resulting in great waste of educational resources. In the practice of tutoring, I realized that educating children is a systematic project. If we compare it to a play, then school education is the protagonist and family education is the supporting role. But at home, family education should play a leading role, and it should play a leading role. The content of family education should focus on ideological and moral education. Children are in the learning stage, and learning is very important, but first of all, we must learn to be a man and learn to write big. One year, I participated in the city's "Longevity Cup" family education essay activity, writing about the herringbone structure, which is to educate my daughter to be a "one-stop" to support others.
The ancients said, "Everyone has parents' hearts." However, "parents often lose, and now they can't be flattered." Most of our families in Shanghai are families of three. Parents are child-centered and children are self-centered, so there are little suns, little emperors, little princesses and little bullies. Some people say, "Poor study is flawed, poor health is unqualified, and bad thinking is dangerous." From the perspective of family education, it makes sense. For more than 20 years, I have overcome the tendency of attaching importance to education and neglecting wisdom and morality, and put virtue first in family education. I teach my daughter how to be a person, just like I teach her how to walk. Let her start from the little things around her, respect her elders, love her neighbors, respect her teachers and love her classmates.
When my daughter was very young, my wife and I often told her fairy tales of cats, dogs, monkeys, flowers and butterflies, which were full of truth, goodness and beauty. The daughter opened her eyes wide and listened with relish. She gradually learned to be sincere, kind and friendly, to care for her elders and neighbors, and to start with small things around her. There are five people in our family, and her grandparents are old. If there is anything delicious, we will let her worship her grandparents first. Neighborhood relationship is the first social relationship that children contact except family relationship. We pay attention to educating our daughter to get along well with her neighbors. She is very warm to her neighbors, and they all like her. When it rains, she will run up and down and call her neighbors to collect clothes and quilts. Her grandmother is a cadre in an alley. Sometimes when neighbors have disputes, she will go with her grandmother to stop the fight. Our daughter will study at school. We lost no time in telling her to respect teachers, love classmates and care about the group. Ask the teacher early in the morning, usually meet the teacher to say hello, say goodbye to the teacher after school and so on. She has great respect for her teachers, who all like her very much, praise her for being polite, often encourage her to study hard, help her warm milk and give her a lot of work. If she is allowed to demonstrate "oral training" in other classes, read children's songs on the radio and publicize Lei Feng's deeds in the street, she has also completed her work task seriously. When she was in primary school, she always carried two PADs and often lent her school supplies to her classmates. A classmate in the class was ill or accidentally injured, so she hurried to the clinic. She also takes seriously the tasks assigned to her by team organizations and class groups. On one occasion, she was going to chair a team meeting for 10 minutes, sleeping in bed at midnight 1 1, still mumbling. On another occasion, she tidied up the room, sorted out more than 40 extracurricular books from under the bed, and quickly took them to school and put them on the class bookstall. After serving as the labor committee member of the class, I sometimes see that the classroom is not clean enough, so I sweep it again and mop the floor. When she was in middle school, she put forward two initiatives. One was to set up a penny fund, and everyone saved a penny every day to help friends in trouble. The other was to set up a red scarf fund in Shanghai. 1 February, 9981day, the "Shanghai Red Scarf Scholarship Fund" was jointly established by the Communist Youth League Committee and Jiefang Daily. Chen Tiedi, former director of the Standing Committee of the Municipal People's Congress, and Xue Chao, former secretary of the Communist Youth League Committee, took the lead in donating money with their children. Received a donation of 250,000 yuan that day. Now many middle schools in Shanghai have set up penny funds.
Second, adhere to the principle of democratic and equal family education, trust, respect and understand your daughter, let her distinguish right from wrong and boldly do what she thinks is right.
In family education, children are the main body and parents play a leading role. Only by adhering to the principle of democratic and equal ideological education can parents arouse their children's enthusiasm and creativity in self-education.
At home, my wife and I can carry forward democracy, truly trust, respect and understand our daughter, support her to take up social work and participate in various public welfare activities in classes, schools and alleys. She established a communication relationship of "hand in hand with progress" with nearly 200 primary and secondary school students in the hope project. I support her, sometimes buying stamps and sending letters for her. One summer, she was going to attend the summer camp organized by the Youth League Committee and visit the Hope Project in the rural areas of Jinzhai County, Anhui Province, so I assured her to go. The following summer, the District Youth Working Committee recommended her to participate in the "China Children's Summer Camp in North Korea", which required an individual to pay 4,000 yuan. I didn't agree at first, and my neighbor said it wasn't worth it, but she asked us to let her participate. We understand her feelings, respect her opinions and promise her. Our understanding and support made her develop a good habit of distinguishing right from wrong, independent, self-reliant, and dare to do what she thinks is right. Of course, before doing something, she will also take the initiative to ask our parents for advice.
My family often holds family discussions. In the discussion, my wife and daughter are equal, and whoever listens to them is right. Family discussions provide conditions and occasions for daughters to fully express their opinions and give full play to their enthusiasm and creativity. Now primary and middle school students can receive tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of lucky money every Spring Festival. There is a primary school student in Shanghai who received 50,000 lucky money for the New Year. A 7-year-old child in Tianjin knocked 1 14 on New Year's Eve and the first day of school, resulting in dislocation of cervical vertebra. An 8-year-old child asked his grandmother for a lucky money of 100 yuan. If he doesn't get it, he will be furious. Grandma was so angry that she had a heart attack and was unconscious that she was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. As early as 199 1, the news perspective program group of Shanghai TV launched a discussion on how to use lucky money. My daughter expressed her views at the family discussion. She said: "I don't think this is a question of how to use the lucky money, but we should discuss whether to use the lucky money." Children asking adults for lucky money will increase their unnecessary burden, some children will develop the bad habit of spending money indiscriminately, and some children in some places have no money to study. Therefore, children should change their living habits, develop a hard-working and simple character from an early age, and don't ask adults for lucky money. "She told us that she would take the lead and stop collecting lucky money. If she can't refuse, she will donate it all to the China Youth Development Foundation, which implements the Hope Project, and then give it to the out-of-school partners in poverty-stricken areas. We are all very happy and agree that she can think for her elders and peers. She immediately wrote to the TV station, and I sent the letter to the reception room of the TV station. The next day, the TV station called and asked her to be the first to advocate on the screen: "Don't give lucky money, don't accept lucky money, don't spend it indiscriminately if you can't refuse; Don't forget friends in poor areas. They want to study and we want to help them. "Since then, every Spring Festival, she has declined several hundred yuan of lucky money from some elders and neighbors.
Third, adhere to the principle of family education based on spiritual encouragement and praise, and encourage daughters to learn from heroes, see actions and do good deeds.
After our daughter went to primary school, we borrowed books, bought books and selected books for her by encouraging, praising and setting an example, and made her read many books that promoted ancient and modern heroes and Chinese virtues, such as The Story of Lei Feng and A Reader of Chinese Traditional Virtues. Lei Feng's diligence, thrift and helpfulness in the book; Zhang Guisheng's gold chases its master; Lauren's bracelet error test period; Send the toll to others; Sun Shuaiao's "Think of others when you are in danger", playing two snakes; Li Ji loves his job, saves lives, and kills snakes on his own initiative, which has a great influence on his daughter.
Over the years, she followed the example of heroes such as Lei Feng, Wang Jie, Liu Yingjun, Cai Yongxiang and Lai Ning, and learned from them, and did good deeds. In the second grade of primary school, she picked up 250 yuan money on her way to school. The students present asked her to divide it. She said: "This money can't be divided!" She thought the owner must be in a hurry, waiting for the owner, but no one went to find him. She rushed to the school, gave the money to the teacher and asked the teacher to help find the owner. The teacher asked her what she thought of the money she found, and she replied, "Uncle Lei Feng and brother Lai Ning will definitely hand in the money they found." Someone called her "250", and she said, "I don't regret being the fool that Uncle Lei Feng said the people needed." After entering the middle school preparatory class, she went to see the primary school teacher with her classmates. On the crosswalk, she suddenly saw a car galloping towards them, grabbed her classmates' arms and pulled them to the side of the road. The car passed my classmates, avoiding a tragic accident. Someone asked her, "Have you ever thought that the car is coming towards you two? You don't avoid it, but you are pulling your classmates. Aren't you afraid of being hit by a car? " She said, "I just want my classmates not to be hit by cars."
Fourth, adhere to the family education principle of combining example with example, and example is more important than example, and set an example to improve and enhance the daughter's consciousness and sense of social responsibility.
In getting along with children day and night, parents' words and deeds have a particularly important influence on children. Example is more important than words and deeds, and children will be convinced. Therefore, parents should enhance their awareness of education, adhere to the principle that words and deeds are more important than words and deeds, set an example and be their children's first teacher.
We ask our daughter to care about the people, and we should care about the people first. We ask our daughter to love the socialist motherland, and we should love the socialist motherland first. 1989, just after the Central Committee of the Communist Youth League proposed to carry out Project Hope, my wife organized students to carry out Project Hope activities and took the lead in donating money for Project Hope. At school, I can also actively donate money to the disaster-stricken areas and offer love to students in need. My wife and I are trying to be good residents in the alley, good workers in the unit and good citizens in society. The cadres of our neighborhood and neighborhood committees call our family a "three good" family, which means that I am a good parent in the city, an excellent instructor of learning from Lei Feng in the whole country, and I have won many awards such as the Best Counseling Award of Learning from Lei Feng in the National Tomorrow Cup and Learning from Lei Feng Series 160. My wife is a good parent in the city. She was rated as a national excellent parent and an advanced youth ideological educator, and won many awards such as the National Youth Reading Medal 150. My daughter is a good teenager in China, and an advanced individual in the national educational activities with the theme of "having the motherland in mind and others in mind". Three people in my family encouraged each other and formed an atmosphere of continuous progress at home.
When my daughter went to primary school, the school conducted national education. My wife and I have been to the countryside and told her a lot about the countryside, so that she can understand the countryside, farmers and farmers' children. At a team meeting, she proposed to submit the teams she had read to friends in poor areas and carry out the activity of "* * * reading the Young Pioneers newspaper and being excellent players together". The team members wrote a sentence in every issue of Youth Daily and Little Partner Daily, hoping to work together and send it to a small partner in a primary school in Shanxi. The teachers of the Youth Department of the Communist Youth League Committee praised them for carrying out the activity of "sending friendship with a book". From 199 1 to 1 at the beginning of each year, she sends out the initiative of "rejecting lucky money and helping peers" to primary and secondary school students in urban areas across the country through the news media. Later, she wrote to more than 200 primary and secondary school students all over the country, proposing that * * * join the joint initiative. On the eve of the Spring Festival in the year of college graduation, 24 provinces, municipalities directly under the Central Government and cities with separate plans agreed to sign her proposal. Xinhua reported her initiative four times. 10 For many years, in addition to refusing some lucky money from her elders and neighbors, she donated all the lucky money she could not refuse to her peers who dropped out of school in poor areas and had difficulties at home every five days. Plus the Lei Model Award in the district, the top ten middle school students in the district, the Down's scholarship in the city and the half-month scholarship for middle school students, totaling more than 3,000 yuan. With her support, two students in Gansu and 1 students in Jiangxi were able to go back to school with their schoolbags on their backs.
Under the influence of teachers' education and our parents, our daughter has a sense of social responsibility. It was also in 199 1 that she saw someone selling tadpoles in the market, and in the name of the squad, she issued an initiative of "Don't catch tadpoles, don't buy tadpoles and let them go home" to the young pioneers and Communist Youth League members in the city. There were floods in many places that summer, and in the name of the squadron, she launched the initiative of "donating school supplies to students in Anhui disaster areas". Results Students in the city donated more than 10,000 yuan 1 school supplies. 1 In the summer of 994, she participated in the summer camp for teenagers' astronomical navigation, and went to Sheshan Astronomical Station to observe the collision between comets and trees, and won the only1special prize for summer camp essay writing. After coming back from summer camp, she asked me about sailing knowledge. I told her that there are no direct flights between the two sides of the Taiwan Strait, and from Shanghai to Taiwan Province Province, we can only go far by way of Hongkong and Tokyo. She published a letter to children in Taiwan Province province in Sailing magazine, suggesting that primary and middle school students in Shanghai and Taiwan Province province take the lead in holding summer camps on the other side-in fact, direct flights are the first step to reunify the motherland!
5. Adhere to the family education principle of combining patient persuasion education with strict requirements, be democratic, not engage in "democratization", and have different opinions, so as to promote the healthy growth of daughters on the road of life.
My family has democracy, but we don't engage in laissez-faire "democratization"; There are praises, but there are also criticisms. After four student magazines in Shaanxi, Hunan, Shanghai and Jilin reported her daughter's deeds, her daughter suddenly received more than 30 letters from all over the country and was about to reply. At that time, school started, and I gave her advice: don't affect her study, and wait for the rest day to reply in batches; Now that you are a middle school girl, don't write back to a strange adult man. She is obedient, takes time to study, and only answers one or two letters when she is free. She also ignored some letters promoting superstition or engaging in "serial" activities. After a senior high school entrance examination, she proudly said to me, "I did better than three books." It's really cool. " I found that her mood was wrong and pointed out to her, "You are not competing, but jealous that others did better than you." The real competition is to want to do better than others, not to want others to do worse than themselves. "the daughter asked," isn't this the same? " I analyzed and said, "It's different. I hope others do worse than myself, so you can't help others. I hope that if you do better than others, you may help students who are worse than yourself. "I criticized her for being too selfish on this issue. She repeatedly said: "I admit my mistake, can't I just do it?" I said, "It's not enough to admit your mistakes. You must change it. "She agreed.