Why is someone chasing my ex-girlfriend as soon as she breaks up?

"I broke up with my predecessor for several months, and someone is still chasing me." Recently, Yang Fang (pseudonym) turned to our newspaper for help. She's an emotional counselor. She has been in love for more than three years, but she broke up because of her incompatible personality. Not long ago, a friend of Yang Fang revealed to her that as soon as her ex-girlfriend broke up, someone chased her and even brought someone to chase her. "She still likes me for a long time and thinks I'm too good. Being with me is very comfortable, safe and single-minded. " Yang Fang is puzzled by this: She has broken up with her ex for several months, so why is there anyone chasing her? Therefore, the reporter consulted Joline, a professional emotional consultant. She said that if you want to save your predecessor, you must keep a distance from your predecessor and don't regard "feelings" as "career"; If you want to save your predecessor, you must first correctly analyze the emotional status quo and contradictions, and then improve yourself through reasonable planning.

1. I don't know how to make up for it after breaking up.

Yang Fang, aged 26 and 25, works as a graphic designer in a media company in Yubei District. In April this year, due to the recruitment needs of the company, Yang Fang signed up for a three-month offline training to learn how to take orders. Because of the bad relationship with my boyfriend, I always quarreled during this time, and their feelings broke down. Yang Fang said: "Later we decided to break up, but the other party was still very kind to me. Sometimes, when I am eating, I will come and chat with me. I think I was still moved by him. " After breaking up, they didn't walk into the marriage hall. Yang Fang wants to help her deal with her feelings after the breakup through emotional counselor Mr. Zhou, but because Ms. Yang is very cold to herself, she hopes that Mr. Zhou can help her.

I know they have a good relationship, but they are still unwilling to accept it.

Yang Fang: We have been in love for more than three years. When we are together, I am also a "little transparent". I always ask her (her) directly if I have any questions. I know they have a good relationship, but they are still unwilling to accept it. I also know that it is impossible for the two of them to continue this relationship now, but they have been dragging their feet because of face. Actually, I've made up my mind: I'll either take the initiative to admit my mistake or let the other person know how I really feel. If she accepts this possibility, it is better not to disturb her life.

3. The ex-girlfriend said she would save her.

At the end of last year, Yang Fang broke up with his ex-wife Mr. Shi, and Yang Fang's attitude towards his ex-wife changed to "taking the initiative". She sent a message asking about her ex-wife's recent situation, hoping that the other party could get back together. Shi Lei (male, 27 years old, born and raised in Bishan, Chongqing): Is it a good thing that my ex-girlfriend mentioned that she wants to save herself? Yang Fang: No, of course! But even so, Shi Lei has not recovered. His ex-girlfriend later said on WeChat that a boy wanted to get back together with her and me. This is a wrong idea. If two people really fall into the mire of emotional breakdown, this relationship is doomed to be fruitless, but Shi Lei will run this relationship as a career! Their love ended in a breakup!

If there is an opportunity, it can be redeemed.

Joline said that the situation in Yang Fang is very common. Once you find any shortcomings or problems in love, you should correct or repair them in time. Once you find that the other party has done something sorry for yourself, you should immediately apologize to the other party and express your willingness to correct the shortcomings together, leaving room for the other party to be better to yourself. "In fact, the most important thing to save your predecessor is to maintain your sense of identity." Joline said. Therefore, in the process of saving his ex-girlfriend, he suggested that Yang Fang spend more time with his family and friends, learn some chat skills and methods to divert attention, and then try to save this relationship. Of course, if the other party has other suitors or especially wants to save them, don't refuse or pester them casually; If the other person refuses the other person or loses interest in himself, he will be very sad and upset. You can ask the other person on your own initiative. At the same time, I also hope that Yang Fang can let go of past grievances and re-establish your close and healthy relationship, which will lead to satisfactory results for both sides.