Gender: male
Age: 40 years old
Key words: marriage, husband and wife, family burden, gambling debt.
My wife and I met on a blind date. After a year of love, my wife got pregnant, so we got married after having a baby. Although our husband and wife are not really a match made in heaven, our life is safe and stable, and the relationship between husband and wife is harmonious, and we seldom quarrel. So I often think that maybe marriage is like this. In this life, people can make do with someone who is not so annoying. At that time, I thought my wife and I could live a stable life.
Unfortunately, the marriage didn't last long, and every family had a hard time. My wife's family had an accident, and my brother-in-law lost the whole family because of playing cards. He was heavily in debt and even sold his house. The family was crammed into a small rented room. At that time, my wife often helped my brother-in-law's family, but it was reasonable to see that her help didn't hurt my family, so she turned a blind eye.
I thought I was generous and tolerant and could get my wife's understanding, but I didn't know that my wife's behavior of helping her family was getting worse and worse. Even thought about selling the house to pay off her brother's gambling debts. It was then that I realized how outrageous my idea was, so I directly refused my wife's help to her family. It was also because of this refusal that my wife and I turned against each other and almost divorced directly.
My wife and I almost divorced because of my brother-in-law and my mother-in-law Because my brother-in-law lost another 200 thousand playing cards a few days ago, and there was no money to pay his debts at home, so my brother-in-law was dying at home, saying that if he didn't finish the money within three months, the other party would definitely kill him. Also because of fear, he threatened his mother-in-law to borrow money.
So my mother-in-law treated me like a son-in-law. That day, my mother-in-law said to me, "son-in-law, you paid off my son's gambling debt with 200 thousand." You can't get out of destruction. If you don't help pay off the money this time, then I will divorce my daughter and make your family feel uncomfortable! " !
Although I was angry at my mother-in-law's words, it was not my most desperate thing. What makes me desperate most is my wife's attitude. Because my wife said to me that day, "If you don't help my brother pay back the 200,000 gambling debts, then we will divorce, because I am the only brother, and I can't be ruined. I can only divorce you and help my brother with the money from the divorce, because if something happens to my brother, I will never feel at ease in my life. "
After listening to my wife's words, I'm disappointed in her, so I'm going to prove my attitude with divorce. That day I asked my friend to draw up a divorce agreement, and then I took it out directly and said "divorce" in front of my mother-in-law and wife. I thought that after I said this, my wife and mother-in-law got scared and came back to beg me not to divorce.
But who knows, after hearing my words, my wife said to me without hesitation: "
Anyway, you are an ungrateful thing, and you left. "It was also his wife's attitude that put him in a dilemma, so I didn't give my wife the divorce agreement that day, because I really didn't want to divorce, because I was afraid of hurting my children, and I couldn't bear to part with my wife. Because of years of getting along, I already have feelings, and my wife is not a "helper", so I think my wife can change.
Although I don't want to divorce in my heart, I have the idea of divorce whenever I think about the pressure I am under. The children at home are still young, asking for money everywhere, and my parents are old. I am very painful. I really don't know if I should get a divorce.
Bian Xiao has something to say:
Although it is said that "husband and wife should make peace and not divorce", I think divorce is better for Wu Wei than no divorce. Because even if his wife is not a real "brother-in-law", his wife's indiscretion and his gambler's brother-in-law will directly ruin their marriage and even the children's life sooner or later, so Wei Wu should divorce, which is the most correct way for him.
In my opinion, if Wei Wu gives in to his wife and mother-in-law, the present situation of his wife's family will be the future of Wu Wei's family, and his future will be doomed to regret and pain, because his gambler's brother-in-law is a time bomb.
Because the gambler's world is dark, the gambler's psychology is also in a sub-health state, and he lives in anxiety every day. They have no affection and friendship in their hearts, only gambling. So if Wei Wu compromises this time and helps his brother-in-law pay off his gambling debts, he will be dragged down by his brother-in-law for the rest of his life.
For Wu Wei, helping his brother-in-law to pay off gambling debts will not only help his brother-in-law, but will harm his life and even his family's happiness. If he really thinks about his wife, he should stand firm and then send his brother-in-law to quit gambling, instead of helping to pay back the money and then harming others.
So in any case, Wei Wu has no obligation to help his brother-in-law pay his gambling debts, which has nothing to do with him. As for his wife, if she still doesn't know what to do, then divorce is the best ending.
In addition, divorce itself, in fact, will not bring more harm to children, only unfortunate family environment and contradictions will bring more harm to children. For Wei Wu's family, if it is really for the good of their children, the advantages of divorce outweigh the disadvantages, because it can not only give children a quiet living environment, but also free them from their uncle's time bomb.
Psychologists all say: "Putting the relationship between husband and wife in the first place is the foundation of a happy marriage".
Therefore, I often warn the women around me: "After marriage, no matter how much you love your family, you must also pay attention to your discretion. Don't do things that sacrifice your family to complete your family, because it is doomed to harm others and yourself. "