Today, I chose the theme of "Four Books Parents Should Read in High School" to make up for this deficiency. At the same time, I hope that today's communication can bring some inspiration to parents, so as to effectively improve themselves and grow up with their children.
It is every parent's good wish to make their children grow up healthily and happily and achieve something in school, but it is not easy to be a competent parent in reality. To be a competent parent, you must study, think and practice, and actively deny yourself in practice. According to my study and practice for more than 20 years, I think parents should learn the following four books.
First, establishing a correct educational concept is the fundamental point of being a competent parent.
Nowadays, there are many things that are popular in society, but few things that teach people to seek Tao. Tao, truth, principles, laws and fundamental things; Technology, method, skill, scheme, concrete thing. My understanding of family education is that the concept of education is the so-called "Tao" and the way and method of education is "technique". I used this connotation to explain my screen name "Minzhe" in my first blog post.
For more than 20 years, I have read more than 100 books on family education at home and abroad. The general feeling is that China does not have a complete educational theory system, and it is the same in the economic field. This should also be a major factor for our country to lag behind western developed countries. This is also the reason. In recent years, I have hardly read any domestic books on this subject, and some books written by experts have problems at the sight of their titles.
I was deeply impressed by the books about the concept of family education, and not many of them became my reference books. Now I recommend four books to you.
1。 Give me your hand, my child (Heim G. Girotte), and how to say that children will listen, and how to listen to them before children can speak (two students of Guinot). These two books have played a vital role in establishing my new educational concept.
Heim g girot is a doctor of psychology, a clinical psychologist, a child psychologist and a pediatrician. Adjunct Professor of Psychology at the Graduate School of new york University, and postdoctoral consultant at Ajder University of the Philippines. He devoted his short life to the study of children's psychology and the education of his parents and teachers.
Give me your hand, son, this book can be summarized in six sentences: parents and children need to respect each other; Love needs skill; A good relationship is better than a good education; Respond to children's feelings rather than behaviors; Praise children's efforts and achievements; Learn to really listen.
The book "How to say that children will listen and how to listen to children will speak" is the author's inheritance and development of his teacher Heim G Giroth's educational philosophy. There are not many technical terms in the book, just like a competent neighborhood mother telling you her parenting experience, which makes you feel particularly cordial, simple and operational. This book also laid the foundation for my blog post-focusing on case analysis and capturing valuable information in dialogue.
2。 I bought this book more than ten years ago, and I can't remember which friend I lent it to, but the deepest impression it left on me is still fresh in my memory, that is, the classification of problems in family education-excessive care (doting) and excessive interference with children.
3。 The Gate of Emotional Intelligence (by Lawrence Shapiro, USA), which I have read several times. The general feeling is that parents are always staring at their children's studies, and it is extremely stupid to pay too much attention to their children's academic achievements. Paying too much attention to children's academic performance will not only make them unhappy, but also make them "malnourished". After reading this book, you will have a clear understanding of children's emotional intelligence and know how to help children improve their emotional intelligence.
Focusing on cultivating a certain part of children's emotional intelligence in the family will have a snowball effect. Once you start, things will get better and better. I have a deep understanding of this.
Second, how high the parents' thoughts are, how far the children can go.
Some people say, "How high your mind is, how far you can go." I think this sentence is very classic. I extended it to "how high the parents' thoughts are, how far the children can go." "Educating children should focus on guiding them, not replacing them as crutches. In other words, it is to fish for children instead of fishing. Guidance is guidance, only walking in front of children can be called guidance. Then as their abilities improve, you can surpass their parents, that is, shine on you, and surpass Blue. To improve one's ideological level requires constant study and understanding. There are many books that can broaden our horizons and improve our ideological realm. Here, I only recommend four books, which is regarded as attracting jade.
1。 Design of childhood life (Gao). After reading this book, I really felt how developed American education is and the educational differences between the East and the West. Then I consciously discussed with my children and guided them to make plans and designs for their future. Here, I want to talk to you about my thoughts on this book. I feel short of height, so here is a brief introduction of this book to share with you!
"With vivid brushstrokes and detailed information, this book tells the story of an ordinary girl who, under the guidance of her father, set up her life ideals and career goals from an early age, struggled to pursue her dreams on the expected life trajectory, and realized her ideal goals step by step, supplemented by other rich and convincing cases, conveying to readers an idea: in a standardized society, life can be designed and should start from childhood; With scientific and ideal life planning, people can realize self-awareness and inevitable success step by step and predictably, without relying on opportunities or bole. Through stories full of warmth, wisdom and new ideas are shining. The author expounds the differences between Chinese and American education and the educational method of "combining Chinese and Western".
2。 Road map of life design (high). Choose two book reviews to share with you.
"Although I am engaged in overseas study consulting in New Oriental, seeing Mr. Gao is like seeing my relatives on specific operational issues. For my son to study in the United States, I once invited Mr. PaCO home and treated him with good wine and meat. Like all worried parents, I invited him for a long time. Of all the overseas experts I have contacted, Mr. Ding has the deepest understanding of the situation and admission procedures of American universities. People all know that I am an "expert studying abroad", but people don't know that the expert behind me is Mr. Ding-I sincerely ask him any questions about studying abroad, and I can get the most satisfactory answer every time. The American think tank that I rely on to study abroad certainly deserves your unreserved trust! " Xu Xiaoping
"Since I have two books, Life Design of Childhood and Circuit Diagram of Life Design, I have put them on my pillow and read them often, just like reading the Bible. Last year, after graduating from college, she applied for law school while practicing. So far, five of the top ten law schools in the United States have accepted her, including Harvard. It was your two books and lectures that opened my mind, and my children were also inspired by the books and will embark on the road of law school. -Xiao Mu, parents of Harvard Law School students.
3。 "You can succeed" (Bai Ning) and "Knock down the wall of thinking" (classical). After reading these two books, you will appreciate the track of learning and reform of China's colleges and universities from world-renowned universities, and also resolve some entanglements between you and your children in the choice of schools and majors. Having said that, I remembered Mr. Zhou's summary of intellectual education. He said, "intellectual education is to cultivate curiosity and rational thinking ability, not to instill knowledge." The successful experience of the authors of these two books is the interpretation summarized by Mr. Zhou.
In addition to these books, Li Kaifu and Yu Yu's articles are also good spiritual food for parents to improve their ideological level.
Third, the power of example is enormous.
I don't remember the year when I started to contact and learn books about parenting experience written by my parents, from karl witte's Education, Harvard girls in China, to a series of books by Teacher Zhou Hong, to Teacher Cai's My Career is My Father, to Peking University and Tsinghua. On the contrary, I read more and more similar books.
Objectively speaking, each of these books has certain readability and reference value, but I don't think the more the better. It is enough to choose one or two books for intensive reading.
I only recommend two books of this kind to you today.
1。 Accompany children through high school for three years (Liu Chenglian). I think many parents present have read this book. I first came into contact with the introduction of the book I saw on Mr. Liu's blog, and then met Mr. Yan Li, Mr. Liu's husband, among a group of parents, and met the couple for a chat. At the same time, I got the book they gave me that I wanted to read as soon as I saw the title.
After reading this book, I feel a lot of noise. My first impression of this book is peace and truth. At first glance, it seems nothing special, but if you run through the seemingly dull details of life, you will feel a little dull, warm and harmonious family atmosphere, good parent-child relationship, mutual respect among family members, and parents and children * * * study together, make progress hand in hand and grow together.
2。 A good mother is better than a good teacher (Yin Jianli). Frankly speaking, I haven't read this book, but several parents I know have mentioned it to me. I have only read a few book reviews online, and I believe this book is also a reference book worth reading by parents.
Fourth, case analysis may be more valuable.
The first book can help us to revise and update the old educational ideas, the second book can broaden our horizons and improve our ideological level, and the third book provides us with a realistic version of the model. However, even after reading all these books, it is far from enough to gain a lot of insights, because it is not a one-off event to establish a new educational idea. Besides, there is still a long way to go before a good educational concept can be flexibly applied to real life. Parents still need targeted study and practice, but there are few books focusing on case analysis. As far as I can remember, there is only one book that belongs to this category-30 ways to prevent children's behavioral deviation (Hirai Shinichi). Besides this book, there are some blogs about family education, such as, Song and my blog.
My future blog posts will also tend to be case studies. Maybe I will write a book about the real process of tracking my family.
In a word, I think it is necessary for parents to learn, improve and change their children, and its importance is often far greater than what extracurricular classes children enroll in. Parents continue to learn and improve, not only for the healthy and happy growth of their children, but also for improving their quality of life and enriching their lives!