I am 2 1 year old this year. If I repeat the mistake of my mother's early marriage, then I still have more than two years to wander freely.
What is the concept of more than two years? It was two years of being forced to go home, and three hot summers. I just graduated and took off my bachelor's hat. I have to comb my hair and wear a wedding dress. From then on, I began to live a sweet life in Qi Mei.
Of course, it seems that early marriage is no longer the trend of this era. The state encourages late marriage, and I am not in a hurry to marry myself so early.
Isn't there a saying called "married women pour water"? This is a sigh from the perspective of parents. In fact, this metaphor is quite appropriate. Some days, once we wave, we can't go back. There is life. As long as we throw ourselves into it, I'm afraid we'll never get out.
After 95, like me, have you ever thought that we don't have much good time left for ourselves?
?
I saw my parents' wedding photos when I was a child. There are two little girls selling flowers standing on both sides of the couple: a little girl is wearing a small gauze skirt and two croissants, and a little boy is wearing a white shirt and a red bow tie. Both of them are about six or seven years old and have a childish face.
This little girl is my sister Mix and the daughter of my mother's best friend. Now she is nearly 30 years old and lives in Australia. She married a China man two years younger than herself, gave birth to a lovely little girl and raised two lovely big dogs. Her life is calm and warm.
The little boy is my big cousin, the son of menstruation, and he is almost thirty. I have a stable job, have bought a house, talked about my girlfriend, and face the urging of my elders all day. I will probably get married soon.
When I was a child, they often took me to play, watch cartoons, play games, go shopping and talk about all kinds of topics that only children can talk about. Although there is a big difference in age, they don't feel there is a distance. Now they are suddenly going to be husbands or mothers.
It should be gratifying to suddenly feel that their lives are on the right track, but on this right track, I feel that time is accelerating.
I will often look at Xiaoxiao's sister's circle of friends, from the photos taken at the seaside when I was in love with my boyfriend, to the Huizhou wedding photos taken at the time of marriage, and then to the tender little hands when their children were born. Nowadays, almost all the children are talking back and grinning.
It is obviously a generation commensurate with my brothers and sisters, but I feel that I am living in a different world.
?
Yesterday, I posted an interesting topic on the official WeChat account: "What is your ideal marriage age?"
"27 years old"
I don't know if it's coincidence or something, but this number is mentioned the most. After careful consideration, perhaps this is the most suitable age for marriage. After graduating from college at the age of 22 and working steadily for two years, I will consider major events in my life. The ancients all said "get married and start a career", so it is often necessary to get married first and do everything well before you can travel around the world. Now people are much more realistic and have no material basis. How dare they talk about such extravagant love?
I always felt that getting married was far away from me. It was not until we often heard friends around us say that there was an activity called "blind date" during the holiday that we realized that we had begun to rush to the next proposition of life after 95.
Let's see, if I get married at 27.
Six years to go.
"Six years is actually quite long." I told myself this.
How to measure a period of time? It is best to use some exact memories as the criterion. I thought of my first class in grade one, and I thought of my graduation ceremony in high school. All the twists and turns in the middle are blurred. I only remember my homework, books all over the table, the temperature of my first kiss in the stands on the night when I stayed up chatting with my good friends. Interwoven together during this time.
"Six years is very short." I have to compromise with reality.
?
I'm not afraid of being laughed at. I just fell in love at the age of seventeen and want to get married early.
At that time, I felt that love was a wonderful thing, just like a sweet shackle, which firmly tied you to another person's future. I am afraid that even if I remain silent with only one person in the future, I will feel romantic.
Later, it was discovered that this sweet shackle actually exists in name only, just like falling in love will break up, cheat, get married may betray, divorce, in the final analysis, it is just a paper to prove the difference.
And people's sense of security can't just come from a little red book.
Of course, I am not denying the meaning of marriage. On the contrary, I think if love can be sublimated into marriage and tied together, it will be a very good destination and a new growth for both people.
This is a transition from one state to another. Sharing your future life with another individual, while enjoying each other's beauty, also took over the dark and obscure things in life.
However, most people say "I do" when they get married, just to complete a verbal ceremony. Some people got married very early and lived happily, but vaguely felt that they had lost something, not being unloved, perhaps because they were too young to love themselves before loving others.
There is a saying: "Love yourself, be calm, and then love others."
I think, only when a person knows how to be kind to himself, how to get along with himself, how to keep inner peace and how to spend inner loneliness and ecstasy, will this empathy spread to people who have lived together all their lives, and to future flesh and blood and relatives whose families suddenly arrive.
?
"I will probably never get married."
There are many single friends around me, and I often talk about this sentence. The person who said this probably didn't really hate love, but was just an excuse for being single. If he meets love, he may stumble and completely forget his flag.
A friend told me seriously that she might not get married in the future. Maybe it's because I can't meet a man I like, or maybe I prefer women. Her so-called celibacy seems very serious to me, and I absolutely respect it.
"If you can, you can come to my city in the future. I can stay with you for a while, with an unmarried person. It feels great. "
To tell the truth, I really want to enjoy living alone for many years. If I can, I want to rent my own room during my internship or graduation, go to work by myself, get off work by myself, squeeze the bus, squeeze the subway, buy food, cook and write, sit in the park and bask in the sun, listen to my favorite songs, occasionally go shopping with my friends, and occasionally date with my boyfriend. Time is running out. Be careful and keep it for yourself.
Maybe I'm selfish. If I really want to get married at the age of 27 like everyone else, I must let myself fall in love first and get married first.
Fall in love with yourself once and marry yourself once.
I like to be with someone from strangeness to intimacy, from verbal communication to physical integration, from mutual comfort to mutual commitment. You must try these things yourself first. After all, in my opinion, all relationships (especially love) are based on self-recognition and being able to handle the relationship between yourself and yourself.
I don't know what my future love will be like, but if I get married at the age of 27, I still have six years to enjoy my youngest self. Full of rosy heat.
Perhaps, like most young people who work hard in first-tier cities, I will work overtime, stay up late, be scolded by my boss, eat triangular rice balls for the whole family, and lie in a small single bed at four in the morning.
Maybe I will save money for a long time, do a few months' strategy, bite my teeth and buy a plane ticket from a distant country, and discuss the weather with local people in English that is not fluent.
Maybe I'll put on my camera and computer and take the train for more than ten hours to meet a good friend I've been in contact with for years but never met.
Maybe I will really go to Taiwan Province Province alone, without telling my boyfriend, and spend half a month traveling around the island, shooting the sunrise, recording the sound of the waves and editing it into my program for many people to listen to.
These are my dating projects with myself, and many of the moments of warm enjoyment in the first half of my life have not been mentioned. When the wedding bells ring gradually, they may become the most precious memories when a person grows up alone.
Those single men and women who sigh that they have a passionate love but no one cares, and those young people who are emotionally pulling in love, cherish the simple days now. If we will finally embark on a new life path, we should also enjoy ourselves before its future.
Marriage is neither a grave nor an abyss. It's not that feelings are boring and desolate. It just changed from one person's promise to a meal and season for two people or even many people, but the time of being alone can't go back after all.
We don't have much good time left for ourselves.
You should cherish it.