A friend of mine and a friend of the opposite sex have made a new acquaintance, and they quite like it. But there is a problem that bothers him: sometimes he takes the initiative to send WeChat to the other party, but the other party doesn't return for a long time. He felt that the other party was indifferent and he was very upset. Ask me: "What do you mean by her? Is she not interested in me? "
I said, "Maybe she's busy." He retorted, "That shouldn't take so long. Can't be busy all the time? You help me analyze and analyze, what does she think, do you want to ignore me? "
I asked him, "What about me? Sometimes you send me messages, but I don't reply for a long time. Do you think I don't want to talk to you? "
He replied, "That's different. If you don't reply to me, there must be something wrong. Please reply to me when you are finished. "
Yes, he is sure that I will reply to his message, so he won't be so sad and wonder if I don't want to talk to him. I understand that there will be such a reaction in the early days of love, because I am not sure about the other person's mind.
If he is your boyfriend or girlfriend and your married lover, will you be angry if he doesn't return your message in seconds? Do you think he doesn't care about you and doesn't love you enough? Many people will care about whether the other person will come back to them, thinking that this represents the degree to which the other person loves himself and whether he is important enough in the other person's heart.
But in fact, the more you care about whether the other party will respond, the more you may prove that you have no confidence in this relationship, and you are insecure about this relationship.
If you are sure that the other person loves you, when he doesn't reply to you, you can guess what he is doing and probably why he didn't reply. You will wait for his reply, so don't worry and guess.
If the other person gives you enough security. You'll be sure that he won't not return your messages for no reason. If you believe that he didn't reply to you, there must be a convincing reason. You will also wait for his reply. He won't be angry about it, nor will he feel that he doesn't care about you and doesn't love you enough.
Whether a person loves you or not does not depend entirely on these formal things. It's more about how he makes you feel and what he usually does for you. For example, let you know his whereabouts, let you know his routine, his habits, his work rules ... I will report to you wherever I go, so that you can feel at ease; Meeting friends of the opposite sex will also let you know, or take you and so on.
If he is always secretive and dishonest, he is hot and cold to you and capricious. You can't help caring about his every move. When he doesn't reply to your message, he will wonder whether he is chatting with other opposite sex, whether he deliberately doesn't reply to your message, and whether he doesn't love you enough. You will feel that he doesn't care about you and will be angry.
In fact, the reason for being angry may be that he paid a price and had corresponding expectations for him, but he didn't fulfill this expectation.
But what you expect is actually something deeper: a stable and safe intimate relationship. So the most important thing to do is not to pay attention to whether he has a second return, but to pay attention to what kind of feelings he gave you? Does it give you a sense of security? Does it give you a sense of stability? Does this make you very sure?
Sometimes being suspicious is not because you are melodramatic, but because his performance makes you unable to settle down. If you are very concerned about whether he has a second answer, then I think you can think deeply about whether there is something missing between you.