Text/Chen Hongyu
Susan has double god's dancing shoes, which can take her out of the tired world.
-Pu Shu's "Susan's dancing shoes"
1. Men
She hates that man very much.
Zhang has a notebook with a black cover, which is piled with all the dirtiest and most vicious words she has mastered. All the words point to the same man. That man washes his hair once a week, and his hair is often greasy. His eyes are white with unhealthy yellow, and his nose hair sometimes grows out of his nostrils. Besides work, he watches TV at home. She put her feet on the coffee table, and their feet stink all over the room. He is a heavy smoker and smokes one cigarette after another in a dark room. Poor Zhang has nowhere to hide. If this is the case, Zhang understands that this is tolerable. What's more, after coming home from work, men do nothing. He smiled and watched TV, reminding Zhang at an appropriate time. It's time for Zhang to cook; Zhang has piled up so many clothes, why don't you wash them? Zhang, I remember you haven't swept the floor for two weeks. Zhang ... Zhang never dared to resist men again, but went back to the bedroom and closed the door to write and draw in that book, breaking several pens. When a man is angry, she is bound to tremble with fear, so he does what he asks in front of him carefully. When she comes home from school, she must review her lessons and do all the housework in order. She is too tired to speak every day.
Zhang is a little darling. At school, she would never be treated like this. She is quiet and has a peaceful face. Boys always secretly write love letters to her, and classmates affectionately call her Meng Meng or Meng Meng. And that man, even after more than ten years together, still can't name a warm name. He called Zhang coldly, without any feelings. But Zhang Qianbei patiently endured everything about men, and no one knew her dislike of men except the notebook. Not hate, just hate. After she cooked the meal, she invited the men to eat together, and the men ate yum yum. She buried her head and swallowed silently, sometimes eating and thinking about her own destiny. Tears fell and melted into white rice, which tasted a little salty and men couldn't see it.
Why is she tied to this man and stranded in a boat drifting at sea with her colleagues? She doesn't even have a place to run.
Oh, I forgot to mention it. A man is a father.
2. Mom
My mother is a forbearing and gentle woman in my impression. When I was a child, Amon saw a man who was mean to his mother, which was unreasonable. She wants to know why her mother didn't resist and why she married such a man. But when she saw her mother calm, she couldn't ask these questions. Until one time, a man's friend came to visit him at home. Those people talked loudly together and recalled the past. They shook the dust off the floor that mother had just cleaned. Amon angrily took the ashtray and walked over and said, uncle, shake the ash here. This behavior angered the man. He stared at him and shouted, Zhang, you are very sensible, aren't you?
Zhang was trembling all over. She didn't expect men to react like this. It's obviously someone else's fault, but it's not. In fact, men roar like this, and those who really hit Amon seem to have no impression. Therefore, this kind of cold violence that can't naturally form domestic violence makes Amon want to escape. The stubborn Capricorn buried his hatred deeply in his heart, and the flower of evil tried to poke around in his heart. Amon calmly put the ashtray on the coffee table, turned and walked into the bedroom, refraining from pulling the door gently. She was left alone in a closed space. She hugged the quilt and began to cry. She covered her mouth with a quilt and began to cry silently. When it was dark, she heard her mother open the door. Mother sat on the bed and called her, misty, misty. She wiped her tears with the quilt and sat down. She lowered her head and her mother accompanied her. After thinking for a while, she finally got up the courage to ask, why don't you divorce him?
Mom frowned, a little embarrassed. Seeing her mother like this, she still can't bear to be willful. Forget it, she said.
When Amon 13 years old, her mother was diagnosed with cancer. From a certain moment on, my mother always forgets something inexplicably. She forgot where she put her glasses, forgot to cook, and made a mess of her work. To this end, the man is not less angry. When he is angry, he will stare big eyes and shout. After a constant trance, my mother finally realized that she should go to the hospital for examination. The doctor pointed to the CT film of her mother's brain and said that she had a tumor in her brain, which oppressed her nerves and had to undergo craniotomy.
Thirteen-year-old Amon was so scared that he followed the man out of the doctor's office that he couldn't help crying. The man who seldom did it patted Amon on the back. He shouted: cry, cry for nothing! Your mother is in hospital, so you can cook and wash clothes in the future!
Mom is very calm. In those days when she packed up and went to the hospital, she carefully cleaned the room and washed all the dirty clothes that had accumulated. Amon remembers the day when his mother was admitted to the hospital. It was just a morning in early spring. Standing in front of her mother's bed, she saw her mother lying on it, with no temperature sunlight coming in and drawing on the white sheets.
She and the man are about to lose their loved ones.
The craniotomy is scheduled for three days. Amon didn't expect that this was the last time she spoke to her mother. On the third day of self-study, she hurried to the hospital to see her mother after the operation. Mother is unconscious and her facial features are deformed, but there is no pain on her face. She tried to lean down to take a closer look at her mother's face, but all she saw was a flat head with no hair. She was startled. Yesterday, her mother was fine. She timidly asked the man, is my mother okay?
The man said that the tumor was malignant.
Amon doesn't quite understand the meaning of malignant tumor, but she can tell that it is definitely not good. The man went on to say that the doctor said that when she woke up. These days, you go home from school and cook, and send me the meal.
Monk is not very good at cooking. She put the food in an iron pan, fried it in oil, and then added some salt and monosodium glutamate. The man ate the smell of raw oil in the dish and shouted in the ward, Do you have a brain? Who puts oil after cooking? A nurse came up to the man and said, please keep quiet, and he stopped shouting. Amon felt ashamed. She thought, what if there is no mother in the future?
3. He Xiaolan
In the most difficult time, He Xiaolan never abandoned Amon.
Mom has been in a coma, and Amon has felt in his heart that mom will never wake up again. The man is watching his mother in the ward, and Amon goes home to sleep at night. She is afraid of darkness and silence deeper than death. So she called He Xiaolan and said to He Xiaolan over and over again on the phone, I'm going to lose my mother, I'm going to lose my mother. He Xiaolan said, Why are you crying? This is just death.
He Xiaolan has seen death. Her parents have been working in the city, and she used to live in her grandmother's house in the country. Once she went to the city by car to find her parents. On the way to downtown, the old bus suddenly broke down and turned into a ditch two meters deep by the side of the road. He Xiaolan only felt a spin, and with a bang, she could see nothing. She felt that she was being confined in a narrow space in a twisted posture. She doesn't know what is pressing her, but it is suffocating. Fortunately, her mind is still clear and she can wait for help. Before long, she heard the sound of police cars and ambulances and the noise of the crowd. She thought she would be rescued soon, but she couldn't wait for the light. She was so hungry that she could hardly hold on. This uncomfortable posture makes her feel very uncomfortable. How much she wants to stretch and breathe fresh air. Until her consciousness became a little dull, she finally felt the lump above her loose. He heard people groan and say, no, the other one isn't.
That thing is loose again. Xiao Lan raised her neck and felt as if she had moved. Soft light slowly squeezed in, and the first thing that caught her eye was a bleeding head. Glasses are not closed, and I look at Xiaolan in horror and surprise. The body was slowly carried away, and when rescuers found He Xiaolan below, she was far away. They want to carry Xiaolan out. Xiaolan feels that her limbs are under general anesthesia. She really wanted to move to cooperate with the paramedics, but all her limbs wouldn't listen. At the moment she got out of the carriage, she saw several stretchers lined up in the distance, all of which were deformed people with white cloth on their faces. Then she was stuffed into an ambulance and could not see anything.
Xiaolan lived with her grandmother since childhood. My parents come back once a year during the Spring Festival. Xiaolan is very strange to them, and even it takes courage to call. Xiaolan doesn't like her parents. She thinks a grandmother is enough. Grandma's love for Xiaolan is as gentle and coquettish as the sea. Like all peaceful old women, she cooks slowly, washes clothes slowly, sweeps the floor slowly and sews slowly. She can't be idle for a moment, work slowly. On a sunny winter afternoon, Xiaolan would pester her grandmother to dig her ears. She moved two small stools to sit in the yard in front of the house, leaned her head on her grandmother's lap and closed her eyes. The orange light overflowed into my eyes, and I was really happy. What a wonderful time. But at the age of ten, grandma accidentally fell down in the market and never stood up again. Grandma is ill in bed, not a serious illness. In her own words, it is "that one tumbled and broke all old bones". Grandma has three children, and her aunt is the best. She works as a reporter in a big city. She always said that she was too busy to finish her work, so she left her grandmother alone. She also said that in big cities, money is particularly tight, and there is still a loan to buy a house and a car, and even the money is not safe to send back. My uncle is doing fertilizer business in the village, but all the money is out. The 500 yuan is given to my grandmother every month. But after taking the money, I didn't care, leaving grandma lying alone in the old house. What about Xiaolan's parents? Anyway, they work in other places all the year round, which seems to have nothing to do with this family. In this way, Xiao Lan stayed in the old house with her grandmother who was ill in bed for a year, and her grandmother finally left sadly. Before she died, grandma took Xiaolan's hand and said that she had raised three children, all for nothing. Such a good granddaughter can't take care of it. She is guilty. She's too young. Who will she be with? Say that finish, grandma's eyes closed slowly. Tears came out. Xiao Lan sat on grandma's bed and felt her hands getting cold.
At grandma's funeral, only Xiaolan cried her eyes out. After her parents went out to work again, she had to board with her uncle. The family didn't do anything too much to Xiao Lan, but they just put on an act and were sarcastic. Xiaolan is like a stranger renting a house in their house. Later, when she went to middle school, Xiaolan lived on campus. She and Zhang became good friends, which surprised everyone. Because Xiaolan is such a humble person, if she is submerged in the sea of people, she will never be recognized. And Amon, beautiful, modest and radiant. Only Amon knows why she chose Xiaolan. Although I can't tell Xiaolan's disgusting father at home, Xiaolan's precocity is beyond her age and she relies heavily on Amon.
I can't fight in the back.