The time before the caterpillar turned into a butterfly, the loneliness, helplessness and darkness, as well as those unknown moments of suffering, no one could understand or deeply feel. When it flies into the sky, it lights up the blue of the sky; Decorated the hot summer. Then all the suffering becomes the most beautiful memory brand after cocoon breaking-to yourself.
Quiet and busy
In the hot July, the college entrance examination, mid-term exam, marking, preparing for exams, invigilating, reporting and summarizing ... are all in a hurry without losing order, but they are calm and calm in the heat. Forget the cicadas and crape myrtle blossoms in summer, and the delicate buds in the lotus leaves begin to bloom. Everything seems to be arranged in a fixed way, and it seems to change as expected. Busy, looking forward to, time cuts in a little bit, forming a gratifying appearance.
Fluctuation analysis
At the moment I received the notice from the training teacher, I didn't have much fear and anxiety about it, just like in previous years, I think. I didn't ask too many questions. After I was busy at school, I suddenly felt that one thing would come as scheduled. First, I received the time content of school-based training in primary schools, that is, the list of training teachers. Many of these lists of training teachers are the names of our county-level teachers. Did I also train a school-based research teacher on July 26th? I quickly called the teacher in charge of organizing school-based research. As expected, I am training art teachers in junior and senior high schools. Junior high school and I are in the same stage, and I am in the front line like everyone else. Isn't everything I know known to everyone? Now that everyone knows, what else do you need me to say? I suddenly fell into the abyss of pain. What should I do?
Anxiety effort
The origin problem, where the problem comes from, we will go back. The topic is, art teachers with core literacy, looking for key words, core literacy, art teachers, then have I thoroughly analyzed the core literacy? How to be a good art teacher under the core literacy. Therefore, I have listed the following questions. First, why put forward the core literacy? Second, what is the core literacy? Third, what is the quality of the fine arts discipline under the core quality? Fourth, what should our art teacher do under the core literacy? I seem to have a clear idea, but I'm still scared and anxious. Can I express such a big noun vividly and fluently in my own language? This is my digestion, absorption and output ability. So I looked up the information and consulted other teachers. Everyone gave me encouragement, advice, courage and confidence. I seem to be able to accept some information that I think is given by others, but it seems to have nothing to do with me. There are five days before the lecture time. Can I postpone it? Can you escape when you get cold feet? Substitution ... Although there are many hypotheses, they are quickly overturned. The fan blows over and over again, blowing away my mood over and over again, and also blowing away bouts of anxiety and pain in my heart. It seems that there is no way out. I am crossing a lonely and indifferent black hole. How long does it take to walk around this hole? I don't seem to have any concept, and I don't have any companions to go with. I can only go on bravely ... one morning, one afternoon, one day, two days. No, even lying in bed is full of pain, so I have abdominal pain and chronic diarrhea I seem to feel psychological anxiety and physical discomfort. My first reaction is psychological effect. But even if I use the right psychological methods to deal with and hint, physical discomfort will not be cured for a while. At this time, you can only cooperate with the doctor for treatment. When your body gets better, it's time to train. The framework of the lecture is clear and smooth, the content is scrutinized repeatedly, and even what I want to say is printed word for word, and I try my best to complete it. Only through the storm can we sharpen our stronger will; Only by crossing the thorny swamp can you enjoy a more magnificent view.
Calm down? wait for
The lecture lasts for four days, four days and four sections. I am both a learning member and a lecturer. Coincidentally, my lecture was the last one. I arrived at the lecture site early and listened carefully to the lectures of every municipal expert teacher. Calm as water, take out a bright spot from time to time in class, compare and analyze with your own class, and feel secretly glad; If there is a remedy, I still have a chance, so I will listen carefully word by word and record every sentence, hoping that the jade from other mountains can attack my heart. When I heard that the second afternoon was coming to an end, it suddenly occurred to me that this time tomorrow afternoon would be my speech time. My little heart keeps beating, my palms are hot and sweaty, and I keep asking myself, what's wrong with you? Why are you so flustered? But there is a voice in my heart that says don't be afraid, you can, you are fully prepared, you are different from them, your starting point is different from theirs, and the feelings you convey are completely different, each with its own merits. This psychological suggestion was told to my restless heart over and over again, and then I gradually calmed down. The next morning, Mr. Niu Wenting wrote On Images and Non-images in Painting. I have heard the name of Mr. Niu Wenting for a long time, but I have never seen a real person give a lecture, so I listen carefully. Appreciating Mr. Niu's paintings is as quiet as water, and the class is slow and smooth, which makes my restless heart find a fulcrum at once. I listened quietly all morning and actively prepared for my class in the afternoon. When I stepped onto the platform in the afternoon, my heart that had been dry for a long time seemed to have rained heavily. I freely shared my growth, my ideas and my own practice with every art teacher present. The accumulation of dredging nature makes me feel very comfortable. Time flows through my lecture happily like water and comes to an end in applause. Fortunately, I am such a complicated, practical and brave person. Thanks to the attention, mentors and encouraging words around me, I have gained more confidence and warmth in my heart during the difficult days. The voice of inner growth quietly tells myself that you need to enrich your rich heart.
Suddenly I heard cicadas singing outside the window, so sweet. May I ask, what is tonight? Cicada needs to stay underground for several years or ten years to accumulate the strength to climb out of the ground and the courage to climb to the top of the tree. When it loses its bound exoskeleton, is it as written in Yu Shinan's poem: Isn't the autumn wind blowing the sound high? The growth of every life is accompanied by pain, which is a necessary exercise for growth. Only through the storm can we sharpen our stronger will; Only by crossing the swamp can you enjoy a more magnificent view. May we break through ourselves and become butterflies!