Talking too much is a big drawback in life. Smart people are quiet and reserved. They choose to use silence instead of explanation, use silence to eliminate their troubles, see through without breaking, see through without exposing, say nothing, and make their own judgments in their hearts.
There is such a story, a talented and educated master, an endless stream of disciples, a young man came all the way to learn from the teacher. After the greeting, he talked about himself without waiting for the master to speak. The master didn't want to accept him as an apprentice, but he couldn't get in a word, so he just listened to him. After he finished speaking, the master reluctantly agreed to let him worship beginners, but put forward one condition, that is, double tuition, young man.
The highest state of speaking is to make the other person just right, relaxed and happy, and the gentleman hides his tools. At that time, it will make it easier for the other party to shut up at the right time.
Life is an ocean, you don't have to argue whether you are high or low. Shut up, what you know, what you play dumb, what you do.
Open your mouth and say what you want. Not expensive.
Watch your mouth, you show love, money is hard to buy.
Zeng Guofan, who was outspoken when he was young, was rejected by his colleagues and would not cater to them. He almost died because he was outspoken.
He deeply reviewed and made up his mind. Before going to bed every day, he has to reflect on whether he has said anything inappropriate all day. When talking with people, he is cautious, modest and restrained, and everything he does will take care of the emotions of people around him. In the end, Zeng Guofan was promoted to an official position and ranked in the cabinet records. He was known as "the first perfect person in ancient and modern times".
Shut up is a kind of practice, silence is a kind of wisdom, and seeing through is the highest realm of IQ and EQ. It took us two years to learn to talk, but it took us 60 years to learn to shut up.
He Ruodun, a famous soldier in the Northern Zhou Dynasty, is famous for his bravery. He led troops to suppress countless rebellions and was once famous.
Over time, all his peers have become generals, but he is still standing still and resentful, and it is inevitable to make a few complaints.
Self-pity at ordinary times also forget it, he was still in front of the court MingGuan, complaining again and again, and finally angered Yuwen Hu, the king of Jin who was in charge of state affairs, and ordered him to go back to the DPRK and hang himself.
Before committing suicide, He Ruodun specially called his son He Ruobi to him and said to him, "I am in this situation because of my mouth. You must learn my lesson and be careful, otherwise my fate will be yours. "
But speaking it out is just like splashing water, and there is no chance of recovery.
It is better to cherish words than to talk endlessly. Learning to shut up is the top wisdom. Mind your own business is none of your business. Don't talk too much if you don't talk too much.
In both cases, people like to talk most, while people talk lightly and have high positions.
People who talk lightly are often easily overlooked. In order to find a sense of existence, they will express themselves endlessly, even if they are talking nonsense.
A powerful person always feels that he is very important and has a strong sense of superiority when he goes out with a bag and enters the house to pour tea, so he will naturally say more unconsciously.
Wisdom and thoughts are never judged by talking too much and talking too little. Some people talk a lot all their lives, but few words carry weight. Some people talk very little all their lives, but what they say is thoughtful, inspiring and respectful.
Learning to shut up can gradually make you self-disciplined, because if you talk too much, your brain will turn less, and if you talk less, your brain will naturally turn more.
I-I used to be a person who likes to talk big to everyone, but I seldom talk after I was 30, because talking is a person's physiological need, but shutting up is a person's ability.
A person's experience, experience and wisdom are limited, so what we say is not necessarily the truth, and what we tell others is not necessarily helpful to others. Therefore, talking less and listening more, watching more and doing more, is the code of conduct for adults.
Confucius said, "Too much is not enough, too much is not enough." You must be measured when you speak. When you say shut up, you don't mean never talking, but you don't say anything you're not sure about. Learning to shut up doesn't make us insidious and shrewd, but let us turn the energy of speaking into the power of thinking to the maximum extent and let ourselves sublimate constantly.
There is a story about a bodhisattva and a tramp.
The tramp walked into the temple and saw the Bodhisattva sitting on the lotus platform. He was envious and wanted to change places with the Bodhisattva. The Bodhisattva agreed, but on one condition, no matter what happens, you can't speak. Sitting on the lotus platform, the tramp found the audience very noisy and there were many demanders. He always refuses to talk.
One day, a rich man came and begged the Bodhisattva to give him virtue. After kowtowing, he accidentally dropped his wallet. The tramp wanted to remind him, but he remembered the bodhisattva's request and didn't speak. After the rich man left, a poor man came and asked the Bodhisattva to give him money. His family is seriously ill and needs money badly. After kowtowing, he found a wallet dropped on the ground. The poor man quickly thanked the Bodhisattva for his appearance.
He picked up the money and was about to leave. The tramp tried to explain that it was not an epiphany, but someone else dropped it, but he remembered the words of the Bodhisattva and didn't speak. At this moment, another fisherman came in and prayed to the Bodhisattva to protect him from the storm. He kowtowed and stood up. He was about to leave when he was caught by the rich man who came in. The rich man thought that the fisherman had found his wallet, and they scuffled. The tramp can't stand it any longer. He told them all the truth and an argument subsided.
But the Bodhisattva said angrily to the tramp at this moment, you'd better continue to be your tramp. You think your opening is to get justice for them, but the poor have not got the life-saving money, and the rich have no Xiu De. The fisherman went out to sea, caught up with the wind and waves and died at the bottom of the sea. If you don't tell me, the lives of the poor families will be saved. The rich lost a little money, but they helped others and accumulated virtue. But the fisherman was unable to get on the boat because of entanglement, and escaped the storm, and he is still alive.
The tramp left the temple silently, but he still experienced too little. He must go on, in order to truly understand what life is. Many things, as they should be, will turn out better when they happen naturally.
This story inspired me a lot. In fact, in our life and work, we think we speak out for justice. In fact, if we don't say it, things may be more perfect, and sometimes things get worse just because we say a few more words.
No one knows what the result should be, so the Bodhisattva chose not to talk and let things happen naturally. Maybe we should also choose silence like a bodhisattva, and things will develop according to its trajectory. If the result of this matter is good, we don't need to say much, just learn to shut up and let the already perfect result appear smoothly.
The older a person gets, the less he talks, because he is fed up with saying the wrong thing. Speaking is a person's desire, and shutting up is a person's practice.
Being a man, not gossiping, is self-cultivation
Life is low, not complaining is literacy.
When you are proud, don't show off, that's self-restraint.
The degree of comfort to others determines the height we can reach. Being virtuous, speaking moderately, talking less and doing more, and precipitating yourself are the top wisdom of adults.