Make friends with your ex:
It can be said that there is no difference between being a friend and being a friend. It is entirely based on reality and personal choice. That is, one party continues to love the other in the name of being friends. This situation is by no means a true friendship, and usually causes some harm to the parties. Let's talk about it today: unfinished events.
Unfinished events:
"Unfinished Wei Jian" is a key concept of gestalt therapy (also known as gestalt therapy) in psychological counseling. Refers to feelings that are not expressed, including regret, anger, resentment, pain, sadness, abandonment and so on.
To complete the impact of an event:
The negative feelings of "unfinished events" are not expressed and released, but are linked with vivid memories and imagination and brought into people's subconscious. When you encounter or think of a situation like "unfinished events", negative emotions will be activated and people will experience those pains again.
Most people prefer not to change, but also to escape from the painful experience first, but this kind of escape can neither heal the wounds of the past, nor make people really invest in the present and future life.
How did the false friendship with our predecessors hurt us (1)
The common feature of this fake friendship is that the party who broke up can't accept the reality of breaking up and keep in touch in the name of friends? Looking forward to getting back together or psychologically suggesting that we are not completely over yet.
In any case, we all have a true acceptance of breaking up, that is to say, breaking up can't completely release all our negative emotions, whether they are pain, sadness or abandonment, which are suppressed to our subconscious.
How the false friendship with our predecessors hurts us (2)
Although you associate in the name of friendship, any unpleasant experience will immediately activate those painful feelings in lovelorn love. And these unhappiness are usually that the information is not answered in time, I don't care about you so much, I have a new lover, and so on. Although they are friends, they often unconsciously compare with the past.
And the other person's behavior is not beyond the basic category of friends, the more unreasonable you feel or become a burden. And you, however, have been unable to get rid of the national disturbance of lovelorn love, let alone start a new relationship.
What should I do?
If you have had in-depth communication, make sure that the other party does not want to return to this relationship. Then the best way is to cut off contact with each other first. If the other person is an excellent person in all aspects, you can also 1 explain to him. When you have no contact with your ex, and it is definitely confirmed that you no longer love him, and there are no other lovers, if you still want to be friends with him, this is the beginning of true friendship.
Written in the last words:
Relationships that have just broken up and become friends are usually fake friendships. This kind of "friendship" usually exists because one party is unwilling to break up and the other party is unwilling to break up too much. The existence of this kind of "friendship" is hard not to bring harm or trouble to one party or even both parties.
The past will never be more important than the present. No matter how to stay in the unpleasant past, it is a secondary injury to yourself.