When he is proud, he will never think of you, but when he is down and out, you are the first person he looks for. Good things don't belong to you, and bad things can't escape you.
To say that he has no friendship with you and doesn't care about you, that's not true. People will come to you when they need you most. It can be seen that you are still very important in their hearts
But we don't want to accept this friendship.
You know, having such a friend actually means that you must be a thin-skinned, shy and good-natured person. It is precisely because of this that he dared to make unreasonable demands, borrow money and things, give you trouble and ask you to help wipe your ass.
A good-tempered person does not mean that he has no temper, let alone that he has no bottom line and no principles. Rabbits bite when they are in a hurry. Why do you want others to pay without expecting anything in return?
In fact, this situation not only appears in friends and relatives, but even in marriage. With the deepening of the relationship, it is more entangled.
I know many people are sentimental and refuse, not because they can't say it, but because they can't bear to refuse, but you should also refuse. Because these people, even if you take them seriously and have fantasies in their hearts, they just regard you as a "tool person" from the bottom of their hearts and use your kindness and compassion to seek their own interests.
They have no friendship in their hearts, so what love do you go to Baba to talk about?
The story I'm going to tell is actually a little forgiving. When I first heard it, it took me a long time to understand, which also subverted my three views and cognition.
There is a woman named Cui Cui (a pseudonym) in my hometown. She married an honest man. Her husband is really nice. Although he looks ordinary, he is practical and practical. He is a good man who can live.
In fact, the conditions of her husband's family are ok, but men have always been well-known for Cui Cui, but this Cui Cui is not a good crop, including her family, and is not a group of people who are easy to get along with.
This woman, Cui Cui, is really treated well by her husband, and everything depends on her. She also gave birth to a son. Now she is a teenager, very handsome and well taught by her husband. Her academic performance has always been among the best. No matter how she looks at her life, she should be able to get happiness, but all this is "done" by herself.
You can't imagine what a speechless thing she did.
Cui Cui has a younger brother, who is ten years younger than Cui Cui. This younger brother is the treasure of her family. When Cui Cui married a man, it was not fashionable to pay a high bride price at that time, but her family still demanded100000 yuan, just to leave it for his brother to get married in the future.
However, after more than ten years, their family still keeps money in the bank to pay interest. After all, they have not read any books, have no concept of financial management, and have no knowledge of economics. They dream of using this 10 million to marry their son in the future, but they don't know that inflation is so severe now, and this 10 million is simply a drop in the bucket.
It's not that100000 yuan is really small. If it's just a bride price, it's not small. If it's less, it's ok. The key point is that Cui Cui's family condition is really bad.
In fact, anyone who can suffer for more than ten years can also save some money to buy a house for his children and marry his wife. However, Cui Cui's maiden is a famous local lazy girl. She earns less and spends less. 100000 interest has been paid out over the years. Those who subsidized Cui Cui's family after she got married also spent a penny.
Now that Cui Cui's younger brother is getting married, his hair at home is a little over180,000. He can get a bride price from the woman's house, but he can buy a house, but he really can't get it out.
I came to Cui Cui's home, so I asked Cui Cui to help my brother buy a house first, not only to pay the rent, but also to repay the loan. The reason is that my brother doesn't have a decent job, and he is not qualified to apply for a loan at all, so it is even more impossible for Cui Cui's parents to rely on Cui Cui.
Cui Cui has a job, and this job is a formal unit entrusted by her husband's family. Although it's outside the establishment, after all, Cui Cui's education is not enough, and her husband's family can't help it, but the salary is very good. Just look at it. This woman has a good life, not much better than the average person, and her husband's family can be good enough for her.
But this woman really doesn't understand and should be cherished. She quickly agreed to her parents' demands. In those years of marriage, she has always been biased towards her family. No matter how good her husband's family is, she often says outside that a woman still depends on her family, and her husband's family is always unreliable.
Her husband is very kind to her, and she is in charge of all the money at home. She also gave her half of the house bought by her husband's family and wrote her name. She has helped the family in recent years, and her husband has not taken care of it. But her husband is so tolerant to her, but she has no sense of proportion. Usually it's just a little money. Buying a house is a big deal now. It's different from before.
Of course her husband doesn't agree, but he can't hit her. This man is too honest to spoil his wife all the time. Cui Cui was unreasonable and he gave in. Besides, he is too good-natured to quarrel with his wife.
He tried to stop Cui Cui, but Cui Cui made a hullabaloo about and slapped him several times. Her husband had no choice but to let her go.
Cui Cui thought for a long time. She is still a clever woman. The tax on the second house is really high. In order to save tens of thousands of dollars, she decided to "fake divorce" with her husband, and then she could naturally buy a house.
As soon as this was said, the husband refused again: "Well, why divorce? Why not let our children see it, how much influence it has on him, and what do others think of us? "
Cui Cui disagreed: "This is false, not true. What are you afraid of? Wait until you buy a house and get it, then get a marriage certificate. It's okay. " Later, the two really secretly divorced. When they divorced, they kept their son and everyone in the dark. My brother has taken a fancy to the existing house and has been waiting for it for half a year. After the loan was granted, he didn't know what Cui Cui was thinking. Maybe he was taking refuge temporarily, or he thought her husband would wait for him, or he had other plans. I don't know, anyway, she is not in a hurry to remarry.
After all, the last payment of this house was paid by her husband, so she was definitely not in a hurry. Later, her brother asked that the woman should add her name and make up the balance, and then transfer the house to the name of her brother and future sister-in-law.
But families in Cui Cui really can't afford so much money. If they had money, they wouldn't have taken out the loan at that time, so their parents and younger brothers always wanted Cui Cui to find a way.
"Either you go to the outside of institutional loans, make up the money first. We are all family, and your brother won't break the contract. If he has money, he will definitely pay you back. " Later, Cui Cui was persuaded by her family that she really borrowed money to help her brother cross the house. At first, her brother really helped to repay the loan, and she was not worried.
But my brother got married, but he couldn't get the money: "Sister, I just got married and need money everywhere. Why don't you help me get it first? " Later, Cui Cui was in a hurry and simply said, "Sister, you didn't borrow the money yourself, and I didn't force you. Why are you pushing me now? If I had money, I would have given it to you. I have no money now, so you can either take the house back and sell it. I can't get the money anyway. " Cui Cui wants her house back, but it hasn't been hers for a long time. Why is it her phone? She owes a lot of black debts, and now she is desperate. At this moment, she thought of her husband.
After her "fake divorce" with her husband, she pretended to live in her mother's house or her brother's house and stayed away for a long time. Now that she has completely broken with her family, she wants to go back.
In fact, in the second half of the year, she and her husband completely cleared up their differences, because she wanted to borrow a foreign debt from her brother. Her husband firmly disagreed, thinking that she was simply looking for trouble for herself, but she was arrogant at the time: "You have divorced me, you are not qualified to take care of me, and I didn't ask you to help pay back the money. You don't have to take responsibility or persuade me. "
Speaking of which, she knew that her husband would not let her go, so now something was wrong. She found her husband, cried bitterly, admitted her mistake, and repented.
"Husband, I was wrong. I really know that I was wrong. At first, it was all my fault. I shouldn't have listened to you. Now I realize how stupid I am, and I have been punished as I should. Please forgive me. Let's remarry and live as before. "
Her husband is really a good man, I can only say that. Later, I felt sorry for her and almost agreed, but at the last minute, my son stopped me.
Her son is now in high school. Compared with his father, the child is more reasonable and has a stronger personality. He stopped his father and directly helped him reject Cui Cui.
"Mom, when you had a good time a few years ago, you rarely even came back to have a look. Now that you're down and out, you're trying to make it right. You really reassured our father.
My father and I live well together. Mom, it's good that you live with my uncle. I don't think it is necessary to remarry. Have pity on me. I really can't stand you doing this.
So is my dad. He is so kind that he shouldn't be dragged down by you like that. You were the one who was clamoring for a divorce. You should have thought of this result, so don't blame anyone, blame yourself if you want.
I beg you, too. Leave me alone. Stay away from my dad. "
Cui Cui's husband is soft-hearted and listens to Cui Cui very much, but he loves his children more and really puts them first, so in the end, for the sake of the children, he doesn't agree to remarry.
"Fake divorce" has become a "real divorce". Cui Cui is really stupid, but after all, it was put forward by her own children. The children gave her a well-founded lecture, and she was ashamed to go back and beg again. Now she rents in a remote small civil room, and she has to find a way to repay her for not eating or drinking. It is said that the company leaders also know about her family affairs, including borrowing money and "fake divorce", and may have to keep her job.
Cui Cui's story sounds really incredible, but I watched it again. One of them is my relative. When I saw Cui Cui, her was my first thought.
One of my relatives, at the age of 50, left his son and husband at home and ran away with a foreign man. Two years later, the man abandoned her and she became pregnant. Her husband, also an honest man, accepted her in this way.
What is even more incomprehensible is that at the age of 50, she has no distinction between right and wrong, and her mind is still full of love, and she still has to give birth to her child. Now the child is in primary school, as old as his granddaughter.
You can't imagine, my relative, she is still very happy. Although her son has always denied her, she seems to care nothing and be very happy, but I think it is only a matter of time before her secular newspaper will come sooner or later.
There is another story that my mother told me. Like my relatives, that woman became ill many years later. When men saw her spending money lavishly, they left her. So she came back to find her husband and son, but this one was not so lucky. Her son and her husband didn't want her, so they took risks and disappeared completely.
At this point, I'm actually speechless. I really can't feel the sense of being with these people, I can't understand their thoughts and I don't know how to evaluate them.
Let's just say, if you hang out, you have to pay it back. The honest man didn't dig your ancestral grave. Nobody owes you anything. If you are not responsible for your own life, who can be responsible for you?
When people are alive, every important decision represents a big turning point in life. You only care about your own happiness, regardless of the consequences, happiness may be squandered by yourself.
Also, go home if you can't get along well, but you need to cherish your home. Otherwise, when you want to go back, no one may leave the door for you, and the person who really loves you will not stay in the same place and wait for you.