However, under the specific guidance of the counselor, Renren vip members not only found the answer to the problem, but also entered the marriage life with their boyfriends and found their own happiness.
I hope you can find the answer after reading the short story ~
Is it worth living together before marriage?
MengMeng has been dating her boyfriend for a long time. Two people who don't know each other should be kind and in love, and they should be bored with each other every day, but the development trend of their feelings is a bit strange.
MengMeng and her boyfriend are both shy, and they can't completely relax even when they are in contact with each other. They have been together for so many years that they have never even kissed.
MengMeng himself has read many articles, and everyone has different views on "cohabitation before marriage". Some people say that it must be given to the husband, while others say that cohabitation before marriage is also the key process to distinguish whether the other party is suitable for marriage.
In order to get an accurate answer, MengMeng found a good relationship and looked forward to having technical professionals to help her solve her doubts.
What is the root cause of fear of sex?
MengMeng has some "fears" about the life of husband and wife, which also happens to many women.
How can it cause fear? The consultant gave you so many reasons:
Worried about being cheated by playboy.
I firmly believe that this is also the most worrying thing for many commodities. I'm afraid I'll meet a playboy who only has a one-night stand on the development trend. I am worried that men will become more and more indifferent after having sex.
In addition, due to the harm of various traditional concepts and public opinion, women have always regarded "the first time" as particularly critical. Even after having sex, he mainly showed a "victim" attitude, saying that a man felt a little guilty about her for no reason. Even if he really loved you, he was probably scared away by that kind of work pressure.
Fight the fear of having children.
There are many WeChat official account articles that have raised the individual behavior of "having children" to a very high influence, and also deified the brand image of mother. Detailed and grandiose narratives make more and more women afraid of having children, not only because they are too painful, but also because they are afraid that they can't bear this obligation. Together with it, they have just begun to reject "husband and wife life" and refuse to be close.
Men have given enough sense of belonging.
Like MengMeng in the example, although she has been with her boyfriend for a long time, the relationship between them can only be described as "awkward". Boyfriends are also embarrassed to have close contact with MengMeng, and their small talk is also "plain as water".
If the other person is very affectionate, sometimes a small surprise is prepared in advance, and it is very likely that two people will want to refuse to say hello when making out. You have sex with me, and the other person has no good feelings at all. How can women trust each other and give themselves to each other?
Guangsi analyzed this reason for MengMeng, expecting MengMeng to admit the marriage relationship and have a baby, so don't worry too much, because it is as normal as eating and drinking water. If it was really unbearable pain, people would have been extinct long ago.
But he didn't tell MengMeng whether you should have sex with each other, because it must be voluntary. Guangsi just came to teach MengMeng the relative discrimination method, and found a reason for MengMeng: to reserve professional knowledge in advance.
Because both before and after marriage, two people must have a marriage relationship, so they can study and train with the psychological state of knowledge reserve. Official website reminded that the generated _ must be distinguished by their own professional knowledge!
3 chat skills that interest men!
After psychological adjustment and pressure release, Guangsi Consulting just started to emphasize another problem on MengMeng: inarticulate!
MengMeng has nothing to say when chatting with her boyfriend. It is easy to have nothing to say. Just looking at the screenshot of the chat will feel the embarrassment of "full chat", which will never arouse men's interest.
Therefore, MengMeng's professional skills in small talk have been specifically guided and trained at three levels:
Expand the scope of small talk.
When two people in love are chatting, they always leave their keys on others: What did you do today? Today, I ate a delicious take-away meal, but things will always end, and the discussion around the topic of only two people is limited, so it is easy to have nothing to say.
Well, what else can we talk about besides talking about things?
● Talk about opinions.
When everyone started to express their own views, it also confirmed that everyone's friendliness rose to a higher level. Everyone can express their true thoughts, mentality, opinions and values, and the other party has just begun to trust you, accept you and want to expose other information to you.
● Talk about experiences and the past.
Experience is closer to a person's heart than opinion. For example, I am worried, I am happy, and I am happy, because that sentence can express your heart more strongly. At the same time, you need to understand his experience and "empathize" with him, so that he feels that he has found someone who really understands himself.
Push the boat with the current.
If you want to enrich everyone's "talking about topics" and talk about topics reasonably, you must also learn to let nature take its course.
MengMeng and the consultant didn't know the man's preferences, so Guangsi listed many topics that most men would like to discuss: historical time, political metallurgy, and China classical literature. I really didn't know what to talk about, so I talked about Romance of the Three Kingdoms and The Journey to the West (most men in China would like these two books), trying to teach MengMeng one by one from scratch.
Next, go to the man's WeChat circle of friends to find out the truth.
Guangsi searched the man's circle of friends on WeChat, and found that he especially loved Tang poetry and Song poetry, so he let MengMeng master _ classical ancient poetry every day, and sometimes a sentence or two popped up when chatting with the man. The man wanted to talk it over with MengMeng in high spirits, and they chatted very speculatively and happily.
If the man you like likes sports or other hobbies, it's the same ~ you can ask him to teach you fitness and help you correct your posture. First, stimulate the man's hobbies, and then everyone can have endless topics!
Learn to drive well.
There is a saying on the Internet: "Men ask you to tell dirty jokes because they want to see you bow your head and be shy, not to listen to you better!"
However, this sentence applies to two people who have just been in contact for a long time or are in an ambiguous period. When everyone has made the connection clear, sometimes driving and saying something that contains "sexual teasing" can make men more excited ~
For example, MengMeng's boyfriend loves to read ancient poems, and Guangsi wants MengMeng to explain four-character idioms or ancient poems from a dirty point of view, such as weeding at noon, parking in the maple grove until late, harmony, sex, love at first sight.
The more two people talk, the warmer the atmosphere becomes. In such a sweet atmosphere, boyfriends sometimes continue to say some greasy romantic words, which is really a rapid development compared with the situation that both of them were uncomfortable before.
Gradually, MengMeng and her boyfriend are not too shy. I just started to show my true self to each other, and my feelings are getting deeper and deeper. I need to get engaged immediately!