Follow to the end, whether you want to change your life or succeed: in the final analysis, it is the success of "self-management";
Similarly, the failure of children's education is actually the failure of "parents' self-management".
Because I sent a video titled "More Important than Making Money: Look at what your children have become", which is about a billionaire boss and his wife kneeling down to apologize to their son.
Then someone asked me, so I sent a second video entitled "Refresh Your Cognition: Advice for Three Generations of Old Auntie". It's about an "old aunt" who said that her daughter "is 25 years older than Fang in a family of three" and wanted me to give some advice.
(Users who haven't seen it can go and have a look first. Whether you are working or starting a business, this video is "worth watching")
Why did children in the past beat and scold simply and rudely, and as a result, so many pillars of the country were cultivated?
Nowadays, children can't fight, scold or scold, and they have all kinds of psychological and educational skills, but the question is why so many black sheep have been cultivated.
"No contrast, no harm". What's the problem? When you figure it out, you will know "why do successes come together"? Even you will "change at first to save the child, but be saved at last"!
The first part, from a macro perspective: comparative analysis (what is the difference between educating children in the past and educating children now? )
The second part, from the microscopic point of view: give an example to gain insight (look at the crying of the female boss and her son, I believe you will laugh to tears)
The third part, proceeding from reality: the most basic and important (what are the most practical, simple and effective educational methods for children to become talents? )
Because of professional reasons, our consultants often encounter: the boss is often troubled by the problems of the company and the education of the children.
Therefore, combined with my professional knowledge of "human resource management" and years of working experience, I have done some research in this field, and I have drawn several important conclusions in the process of research, which I would like to share with you below.
I believe it will definitely subvert your cognition, so I hope you must read it patiently. The article is very long, you forward it to the collection first, and I'll go on.
The first part: From a macro perspective: comparative analysis.
What is the difference between educating children in the past and educating children now? )
Quite simply, the past era is called the shortage era:
We are born after 80' s and 70' s: no opportunities, lack of objects, lack of information and lack of resources. Especially after the 1960s, we were short of almost everything, even stationery and textbooks ..... So in the era of shortage, simplicity and rudeness are useful.
So it turns out that in that era when there was nothing lacking, simple and rude education was the best support.
What's different now? This is called an era of abundance or even surplus:
What bothers us most is the homework left by the teacher for the children, not for the children, but obviously for our parents. It's really annoying, especially those migrant workers with low academic qualifications. It's killing me.
Moreover, we have to punch in the report in the parent group every day. On the surface, we are going to read a happy song to the teacher: It's very kind of you, really responsible, really hard, and you don't forget to say thank you three times at the end, right? -you have to come here, or you will be afraid that the teacher will neglect your children!
Therefore, it has been proved that in the case of "rich times", simplicity and rudeness will not work.
Similarly, our post-80s and post-70s are facing the biggest challenge of leading a team in the workplace, which is to delete all the successful hard management experiences from you and restart the soft management methods. Because what we grew up/succeeded in the past is completely useless now, so you should delete it.
But now you try. You kick your ass? Maybe swearing will ruin your job. Today's students, we are all forbidden and can't touch. ......
So: our education method is backward. The reality is not that birds fly first, but that burning eyebrows is forcing each of us to "have to make changes."
The second part: From the microscopic point of view: for example to gain insight.
Look at the crying of the female boss and her son, I believe it will make you laugh.
The reason is that times have changed, but the question is "why do we find it so difficult?" That's because if you don't understand "soft management", it must be "difficult".
Let's take a true story as an example. By the way, let's see if this is also the case in your family: watching this female boss cry for her hard life, and then watching her son cry for her grievances. I believe it will make you laugh, because from their complaints, you can see the shadow of you and your children.
This female boss is my old customer. Because of our long-term cooperation and good relationship, she often calls me to complain:
A few days ago, she called me again, and the first thing she said was "Miss Gao, I can't go on" (because we are both in Ann, we have known each other for more than four years, and I have a good relationship with her husband and children. Often, our two families go out together, go to road trip and have a barbecue together. "I know that her child just entered junior high school this year."
Tell everyone: if a woman in her forties can't live. Either the husband is indecent or the son is indecent. So if she says, "Miss Gao, I have a desire to die", it must be the same as the above two situations, right?
The next day happened to be the weekend. I went to their house in the afternoon, and his son was doing homework at home, so I pretended not to know anything.
It doesn't matter if I didn't ask, but when I asked this question, the young man said, "After a long drought, there will be rain." ....................................................................................................................................
He began to explain a reason to me, and then we covered our stomachs together. This thing is amazing, ......
I choose "A" now: "It's over". What did your mother say?
Then I'll choose "B" now: "I haven't finished writing". What did your mother say?
The child then said to me:
Good my uncle Gao, my mother is killing me. Every time my mother asks me if I have finished my homework, my legs tremble with anger. You don't think I'll be angry? .................. I am angry, can I talk to her?
You adults all know that "parents love their children by instinct", but I want to say that "children love their parents by nature", but the problem is that "if you love us so much, we will really go crazy". "I love them in my heart, but I hate them in my mouth." This kind of mental torture is "life is worse than death, very painful" ... ah!
Listen, everybody. Are you familiar with it? Do you say that to your children every day?
First, don't use accusations and accusations to express your love.
This is not right. Especially in educating children: we like to "express our concern with accusations and complaints" too much.
In short, the era of hard management has passed, and we should make changes and turn accusations into care and support.
If you really care about your child's study and you don't know much about it, you can choose to pour him a glass of water, then tell him to pay attention to the combination of work and rest, and then tell him that you can say hello to me if there is anything.
Second, silent companionship is the best love.
Just sit next to him and stay with him silently.
Finally, it's too late. He went to bed, and I sat calmly on the sofa in the living room, so angry that I didn't fall asleep all night.
Even in this case, I didn't lose my temper in front of the child, and I didn't say anything cruel, and then he suddenly let go the next morning.
Sow in spring and reap in autumn. This is genetically modified. It's a demon. You must wait. Don't worry.
As far as our time is concerned, everything is in pursuit of speed, so the biggest problem for everyone is habitual anxiety, and we can't afford to wait.
Wait a minute, he brewed it himself, grew up, and will surely blossom and bear fruit in the future. Some flowers bloom in spring, some in summer and some in autumn. If our child is plum blossom, it will bloom in winter, you can wait.
Therefore, what is needed for children is silent companionship and support. So we shouldn't express our love by blaming. What you need is companionship and support.
Because most of us, in fact, calm down and know that we should do this, but the problem is that we can't do it ourselves, especially at the moment when children are angry with themselves. ...............................................................................................................................
The third part: proceeding from reality is the most basic and important.
What is the most practical and simple way to educate children? )
There is a famous saying: you must be hard before you strike the iron (the meaning is also very simple).
1, the importance of "striking while the iron is hot": heterosexual parents are the starting point of children's happiness in life.
What do you mean by that?
For example, our family is a daughter, and the first man she knows in her life is her father.
Although she is your child, she is the master of her own life. Her life and feelings are all her own. As a parent, you can't interfere. Because "the soul is not independent, it is a prisoner everywhere."
Besides, if you can intervene for a while, can you intervene for a lifetime? In real life in ............, we often lament that some parents are "outrageous".
Similarly, if our family is a son, then his mother is the first woman he knows in his life.
Think about it. What kind of woman he will find in the future and what kind of daughter-in-law you will have in the future depend on your own performance during this period.
You behave better and show him all the virtues and advantages of traditional women in China. When he has a standard, he will find a perfect woman, have a good impression in the future and have a happy marriage.
Because "example is greater than words", parents' words and deeds are subtly influencing their children. The father decides the happiness of his daughter's life, and the mother decides the quality of his son's life.
Because: marrying the wrong husband will ruin your life, and marrying the wrong wife will ruin your three generations. ......
2. Practicality: The essence of family education is to let children learn "self-management".
To be honest, do you want to lead the team to do something? Still want to lead children to achieve family rejuvenation? First of all, you should be excellent. In the process of becoming excellent by yourself, there are time management, communication management, emotion management, choice management and mentality management, right?
This is "self-management", which requires various methods of self-management.
As the old saying goes, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step", and China's cultural thought begins with self-cultivation. We should learn from the ancient sages and the Four Books and Five Classics. The Four Books and Five Classics tell us that the most classic way is to "cultivate one's morality, keep the family in order, govern the country and level the world", which is a standard way.
Always remember: when a person realizes "self-management", then from this day on, he really lives for himself. Before this day, to put it bluntly, ta is no different from animals raised at home. They are forced to make a living and muddle along.
Therefore, self-management is the starting point of life, and in self-management, we think "time management" and "emotional management" are the basic and important ones.
First question: Do you have to know what "time management" and "emotional management" are? How did you do it? As the saying goes, "example speaks louder than words". Don't yell at children all day, but you can't do it yourself.
The second question: Only when you guide and do it, can you educate your child to realize her self-management through "time management" and "emotional management" (when the child learns to manage herself, your family education will be basically successful)
Then let's talk about "time management" and "emotional management" in Self-management:
For time management:
There is a good saying, "All misfortunes are the retribution of wasted time". I personally expounded this topic from two angles and summarized two points:
First of all, in terms of ability, it is a person's planning and design ability (that is, what needs to be done in a certain period of time, to what extent, and to what kind of results? Then how do you plan and design the ability to finish on time with good quality and quantity? )
Secondly, as a person, it is a question of punctuality and honesty. (that is, what needs to be done in a certain period of time, to what extent, and what kind of results should be achieved? So are you honest and trustworthy, don't brag, and keep your word? )
Need I say more about this? Let's focus on "emotional management".
For "emotional management": this should be the biggest headache for everyone. Then let's talk about it in detail.
But the problem is: emotional management is a big problem. I recommend an emotional management method to everyone, that is, you are emotionally fluctuating, angry and irritable, and there are ways to solve it quickly. This is a method.
The first is to have a kind of "consciousness": "the consciousness of constantly reflecting on one's own right and wrong" and "Am I wrong, too? Is there something wrong with the way I speak, which makes him misunderstand? " Try it if you don't believe me. It's also a try.
The second is to have a kind of "mind": "can tolerate what others can't", such as "mind is supported by grievances", because "there is no room for brothers in your heart, how can you be a big brother", because "anything that can't crush you will make you stronger" and "ambition can't be delayed by this little thing in front of you". ......
In fact, "the process of growth is a process of continuous carving and polishing." As the saying goes, "take its dross and keep its essence", which is very painful and has to pay a price.
Then since everything is for your own growth, what are you angry about? Angry at who? What are you angry about? ......
"Avenue to Jane", knowing is not equal to doing.
The "learning method" lies not in many things, but in using one of them to the extreme.
Time, I'll stop here.
Later, I will create a series of small courses for your detailed analysis and explanation. Everyone can study further then.
You can also watch my video "Making Money to Educate Children". I believe that it will definitely subvert your cognition and take you to "see the world from another angle", and there will be unexpected gains.
Is it reasonable for everyone to talk about my point of view?
Please communicate with me in the comments section. ......
I held high the red flag on the battlefield. My name is Gao Zhanqi.
"Expect" your different "opinions and opinions".