Yesterday, I had dinner with my former colleagues. Ronaldinho, a gentle and lovely young colleague, looks depressed. Encouraged by his colleagues, he talked about lending money to a colleague's little sister.
Ronaldinho's colleague Xiaoding borrowed money from her boyfriend to buy a new house, but she really had no money to decorate it, so she borrowed money everywhere.
Xiaoding burst into tears in front of Ronaldinho, claiming that he was going to get married and live in a rental house. She asked Ronaldinho to help her and lend her some money.
So the kind Ronaldinho was moved, and he sympathized with the little sister's experience. He thought that it was not easy for everyone to work in Shanghai from other places, which inspired goodwill.
She forgot that she still lived in a rental house with others, and finally persuaded herself to lend all her savings of 6,543,800 yuan to her colleague Xiaoding. Xiaoding repeatedly promised that she would only use it for one year, and she would pay her back as soon as she had money, so Ronaldinho didn't even ask for interest and IOUs, just like "Mr. Dong Guo".
However, recently, Ronaldinho's mother was ill in hospital and was in a hurry to use the money. I also heard that Xiaoding talked with others about buying a car, so she asked Xiaoding for a loan.
Her husband even said, how can the agreed time limit be changed? Now that there is no money at home, he wants to borrow money to buy a car. It is suggested that Ronaldinho can find a credit card center or a small loan first.
Little sister Xiaoding also became helpless, begging her to do something for herself first, and then pay back the money after the expiration of one year. After all, the husband is in charge at home.
The development of things really made Ronaldinho angry, but when he saw his little sister Xiaoding's weak and pitiful appearance, he felt a little sorry and wanted to argue with him.
Mother's hospitalization money was raised, but Ronaldinho was really depressed and regretted being little sisters and friends with Xiaoding's colleagues, because the complexity of human nature is unpredictable.
As the old saying goes, borrowing a bowl of rice is a benefactor, and borrowing a bucket of rice is an enemy. The kind Ronaldinho lost not only money and friends, but also psychological confusion and depression.
The essence of kindness is to suppress one's own nature and always think of others. If you are too depressed, it becomes a psychological statement "attacking yourself." Attacking yourself will confuse your heart. If you keep suppressing yourself, it is easy to get "depression".
We care about other people's feelings and don't want to embarrass or disappoint them. This is a rare virtue, but if we blindly obey others and are afraid to speak our inner thoughts, it just shows our inner weakness.
In other words, we lack the ability of self-affirmation and appreciation.
So several of our other colleagues discussed helping Ronaldinho and suggested that she find the WeChat conversation and transfer records when borrowing money and print them out as vouchers.
You can ask friends and lawyers for the best solution, but only she will bear the consequences.
As her friends, all we can do is harden our hearts and let her struggle in reality. Maybe one day, she will become stronger and willing to face the reality bravely instead of being depressed and depressed blindly.
Today, I went home to read a book. From Mu's work "Your Kindness Must Be Sharp", I got to know kindness again.
Kindness is a kind of conscience and a kind of nature, which is based on morality.
You can be kind, but please don't be unnecessary. What you think of as kindness is sometimes cowardice.
If you hone yourself over the years, you may cultivate a little spirit, but on the contrary, you may be good at interpersonal communication and live a more leisurely life.
Otherwise, something really happens and you can only suppress yourself into internal injuries.
Because in this world, there are too many so-called "kindness" of "low IQ" that I want to vomit.
Encounter the so-called kindness that lacks common sense; The goodness of moral kidnapping; Do not sympathize with the injured party, only sympathize with the kindness of the weak; Express your so-called kindness in a muddled way; There is also kindness that is counterproductive with unrestrained help.
Life is not about compromise. The farther back, the smaller the breathing space. Life is not for making do. The humbler you are, the farther away happiness will be.
Think of Emerson's words, your kindness must have a little keenness and wisdom, otherwise it is equal to zero.
May more kind people know some wisdom about kindness.