I'm leaving again, this is the fourth time I've left Beijing!
Every time I leave, my friends in Beijing will ask me if I will come back, and my friends at home will ask me if I will go back.
Yes, it is "coming back" and "going back". Like all North drifters with dreams, I also regard Beijing as my second hometown!
I understand how my friends feel about this problem, just like when my boyfriend left last year, he was so sad: "Seriously, will you come back after you go back?"
Every day, thousands of people are forced to flee the city, and everyone who said they were leaving really left! In Beijing, a radish is a pit, no matter how big or small it is, it is desperate to squat out. Once you leave, countless people pounce on it in an instant and occupy the land as king! Go back, it's hard to find your place again!
Today's departure is undoubtedly another pool of dog blood!
Vacation? I really can't think of any company that will have a holiday two months before the Chinese New Year, and it is hard to say that a company that has been in business for many years will not suddenly close down, saying it is a bottleneck period. Who knows if it is a disguised collective dismissal?
You can still do a lot of things in two months. I can find another job (permitted by the company) and a part-time job. After all, I haven't left my job yet. But none of them. I choose to go straight home.
There are two reasons: First, my parents are concerned, and my sister is also urging me to come back. My dearest aunt is in terminal cancer and weak, so let me go back early; Second, the debt crisis, less recruitment at the end of the year, and one ticket at the end of the year is hard to find and expensive; If I come back early, I will earn two months' salary less and pay two months' rent for nothing, but my parents are happy, and I will save nearly four thousand yuan for round-trip air tickets!
So, leaving today is to come back better! Spending these two tepid months with my parents may be persuaded to go back, but I will try my best to win back the opportunity.
But in fact, no one can convince me!
On the way back from a business trip, there was a very annoying old man. After a three-hour drive, he went in and out more than 20 times, but no one paid attention to him all the time. However, from time to time, a few pairs of disgusted eyes glance at him. He finally seized an opportunity to say that the smog in Hebei is so big. Speaking of Beijing, he asked me about my salary. Finally he said, "I don't have a salary of 10 thousand yuan." Why did you come to Beijing? Go back to your hometown! "
…………
It's really good to work in a graphic shop in Yibin County, which has no connection, and the persuasion of parents and relatives is not unreasonable! I am in Beijing, and my salary is not higher than my sister's. Think about what the old man said, but it really hit my heart!
But my parents, relatives and friends forgot that my sister couldn't leave home and didn't want to travel alone, and I enjoyed the feeling of shuttling freely between tall buildings! In order to survive, I will try to overcome many difficulties, just to see and listen more for myself!
Someone asked me if I was bitter in Beijing, and I said I didn't feel bitter. Nobody believes me, and I don't blame them. After all, I don't have any stunts!
I can only say that I live in the imperial city and the land is precious. Let's say that I used to live in a house of 500 yuan a month: it doesn't matter if there is no heating. I bought a new quilt and made me sweat in the middle of the night; No air conditioning, it doesn't matter. I will buy a floor-standing air-conditioning fan for cooling and heating. No bathroom, it doesn't matter. A bucket of a "hot" bath every day, just like the southern countryside. What's so strange?
Too low?
Where do I live now? In the new community, there are all kinds of household appliances. Looking at the well-planned high-rise buildings and streets, you can go to work by bike every day. The community is full of handsome men and beautiful women, from all walks of life, even from all walks of life. Who can say that it is impossible to meet my dish-a friend with similar interests, or a boyfriend!
These, in my hometown, are beyond my reach, and I have never lived in such a good house! Of course, I'm not here to talk about a northern boyfriend marrying far away, let alone renting such a house! However, I like this environment, which makes me feel oppressive, but also intoxicating and lingering!
This city is tolerant, which once made me feel that I deserve such a good place! Here, I control myself at will, no one cares about me, no one is jealous of me, and no one cares about my laughter and noise!
Cicadas croak and are brightly lit. Which one do you like
I invited my friend to go back to Sichuan with me and find him a hot girl. He refused on the grounds that "you can't enter Sichuan without it"!
I don't like the place where I was born and raised, but I am wild by nature and want to travel around the world with a pair of little feet. Beijing, only complaining about love at first sight!
Stay here, I don't want to earn much money, I don't want to succeed here, and I won't take root here! I just want to find my own existence here and try to live the life I want in the place I like!
I am equally confused about the future! I don't know what kind of life is meaningful and what the future is like. All I know is that at this moment, I don't want to leave! The age in my twenties should not be the age of bondage. I don't want to be bound by life, so I must struggle!
I love the countryside and the capital! The countryside is livable and the capital is suitable for traveling. I want to get tired of wandering and go back to the countryside!
Many people envy me, wandering alone and being free. I guess it must be because they haven't eaten what they call me! Many people despise me, because instead of making a lot of money, they are ashamed to go back! That must be because they have never felt the gentle care that Beijing gave me at three or four in the morning! Here, even if I carry my backpack through the subway crowd for two days, no one will touch it!
I have a good friend. She is great, stubborn and strong! She has always been dozens of times better than me, but for the sake of her children, she gave up the job opportunities of postgraduate entrance examination and TV station. She didn't listen to anyone's advice, and the child was bleeding at birth ... Now, she takes her son to work day and night!
We don't contact each other on weekdays. Once we do that, we will definitely need help. She sent me the recruitment information of Mimeng more than once, saying that I would definitely go. I don't know how she thought I would have the courage. When I said I couldn't, she decided I could. This is by no means a lie!
Every time I have difficulties, she never comforts me! No suggestions! Don't stop! Needless to say, she will always come to me and scold me directly (if not, come back to me), and then throw me a handful of money (I don't want you to come back, if I want to, I will be more impressed with you), instead of feeding me chicken soup! If possible, you will also collect news from various channels for me!
If anyone makes me feel that I shouldn't go home in such a mess, it's her! A person who always believes that I have the ability to make myself better and live a better life will always help me and not let me fall!
Finally, talk about leaving these times!
I came to Beijing as a tourist for the first time and experienced the antique of the old imperial city. I left because of the end of the holiday and the restriction of tourist status. At that time, I thought, in this life, I may only come back with my children!
When I left, I never thought that such a prosperous place could accommodate me one day, so the impression of Beijing at that time was sacred and out of reach!
The second time, I worked in a hotel for a year. Because of staying up late for a long time, my body often has some minor problems because of the disorder of biological clock, and I don't like the campus-style assessment and promotion mechanism. So I decided to stick to my post until the end (the eighth day of the first month), go home and have a rest, and then find a job from nine to five.
When I left at that time, I felt that I had adapted to Beijing and placed greater hopes on my new life and new job. I hope I can blend in from Beijing's adaptation. Therefore, even if I break up with my boyfriend, I will not reduce my determination to "come back"!
The third time, the new work has been fruitless for five months. I tried to discuss with the leader, communicate with the team and try to adjust the way, but it still didn't work. Home is always a safe haven. Going back for half a month is not so much an adjustment as an escape and fear of leaving Beijing!
I always feel that I can't go to the company. I should ask myself if I have tried hard enough. But after several months, I didn't touch anything and learned nothing. Instead, I listen to my boss bragging all day, and I will continue to pretend with my colleagues after I go back with my clients. It's all ruined!
Leaving at that time was more about loss, doubt and fear. Many people are persuading me to leave, including my parents. They compared me with my cousin and children of the same age in the same village. They want to be their children's eternal companions! I'm afraid I'll be persuaded, I'm afraid I can't get out of that confusion, and I'm afraid I'm really not fit to stay in Beijing!
I am still afraid of being persuaded to leave this time, but I will definitely come back! This year's misfortunes are all attributed to luck, and they are all called dog blood. You can say I don't know much, or you can say I'm stupid! But even if I hit my head, I still have to work hard for the lifestyle I pursue!
There is still a dream, in case it comes true!