Like many ordinary stories, I am a poor student and the only college student in the village. My school is actually very ordinary, but it is an undergraduate, and the college entrance examination results are the first in the county. Grandpa said it was a champion. He insisted on giving a banquet. Our family is poor, and finally we see hope. Finally, someone is going to study in Beijing.
However, they don't know how much I feel inferior in front of my classmates in the city, how I worked so hard to learn Mandarin and practice English, and how I pay my tuition every year. Once I accidentally mentioned that I can earn 500 yuan a month as a tutor, and my father lost his temper with me for the first time. He thought I had earned so much money that I didn't know how to honor the elderly and sent it home to pay my brother's tuition. Too ignorant.
My life can be said to be very dark. I have been studying, taking classes, taking exams and making money. My classmates call me a miser. Whenever I have a part-time job, come to me and say half jokingly, hey, I heard that you will do anything as long as you can make money. I must pretend not to care: yes, I will. Half of the hard-earned money is for my tuition and the other half is for my younger brother and sister to study at home. My hometown is very mysterious to me: how promising I am, not only for myself, but also for my brothers and sisters. When my brothers and sisters write to me, they always say: Brother, I also want to go to Beijing to study in university! They don't know my suffering, and I don't want anyone to see my suffering except her.
She is my next junior. I picked her up at the orientation party, helped her with her luggage and found a bed. She insisted on inviting me to dinner, so I ate. After eating, I paid the bill, took her around the school and helped her find her way.
Later, she said that that's when she began to like me. She is tall and thin, especially silent and preoccupied. I didn't even look at her when people said she was a little beauty. Yes, I was thinking about what to do with the meal this week after paying the bill. I didn't want to find a girlfriend, let alone a fashionable and beautiful city girl like her. As a result, she often comes to me, attends our class and asks others about me. I was particularly moved that on my birthday, she bought a cake and waited for me at the school gate. I went to be a tutor and didn't come back until 10 in the evening. She waited for me for six hours in the cold winter wind. No one has been so kind to me since I was a child. I took the cake from her hand, held her hand and warmed her.
She said, I know you are under a lot of pressure. Don't be afraid. Can we share it? She was so naive, so was I. People who are crazy about love can do anything and say anything.
We found a small house near the school and lived together. I have decided to send her to graduate school, bought her a lot of books, and let her take the postgraduate entrance examination. Every day, we have classes together, attend classes together, eat in the canteen together, go out to work at night, and she waits for me at home. She bought discounted fruits, peeled them one by one and cut them into pieces for me to eat. She also learned to cook with a honeycomb briquet stove for the first time ... I know that she loves me so much, and I am devoted to her.
It is said that love costs the most, but I didn't spend much money and sent 300 yuan more to my family. She said it was for my sister to buy new clothes, so that we could have the cheapest food this month.
She talked about me at home, and both parents asked to meet. I was fully prepared, but I was shocked by their family. Her family lives in a very high-end duplex house with luxurious decoration. Her mother said that because she is an only child, she hopes to live together after marriage. Her father has been frowning and looking at my worn jeans and old shirts. I think this contrast between the rich and the poor is too much like a scene in a movie or a novel, which is really hard to accept.
I can't forget what her father said to me: my family Nannan has never suffered anything since she was a child, nor has she been wronged. This is the responsibility of our parents. Young man, can you do it? I didn't answer. I know I can't do it. I also know how much she sacrificed to be with me. Don't live in a good house and dormitory, follow me to squeeze a small bungalow, don't wear good clothes, and wear sportswear for many years. There used to be a new restaurant, and her father had to drive the whole family to eat. Now she eats boiled cabbage with me. She scrimped and saved to help me pay my tuition. All this is what I can give her. A poor lover can give her so much, but she is asked to pay endlessly, from time to material things. She said: loving you won't be bitter. But my heart hurts, really hurts, as if the whole person is going to be torn apart. I can't choose my background, but why did she choose me and such a heavy burden?
Sure enough, her family didn't agree. Her mother also asked her if I had moved in with me by any despicable means. I can't help but say that her parents really took great pains. On the surface, they didn't break us up, but in fact they always encouraged her to study abroad. She also happily said to me: Let's apply together, and we will study abroad together. I smiled and said yes. I didn't tell her that my brother failed in the college entrance examination and had to repeat his studies for one year. My sister is in senior three. I found more jobs and advised her to move back to the dormitory, deliberately alienating her day by day and not letting her know. Because she is so cheerful and lively and a little careless, I don't know that I actually have the idea of breaking up.
I forced her to recite the words. We study English together most of the time. She said, I don't think you seem so nice to me. I said no, studying hard is good for you. Aren't you going to study abroad? I waited until she finished the GRE exam, and I helped her send out resumes, materials and applications. I am busier than herself. She began to hesitate more and more. What about you? What about you? I said I was easy. I am a gunman, and I did well in the exam. What are you afraid of? I don't look at her when I say these words, because my eyes will reveal the truth.
Finally, I waited for the OFFER and finally breathed a sigh of relief. I called her mother: Auntie, Nannan can study abroad, don't worry. Her mother hesitated to ask you not to follow? I said I'm not going. I have a family to take care of. I sincerely hope Nannan will be happy all his life. Unfortunately, I can't, so I will never involve her. Her mother cried on the phone and said that you are a good boy and considerate of your parents. I said I understand, and I don't blame you, really.
Poor boys should not have love. I told her to break up. I don't deserve you, but I'm not good enough. I can't bear to let you suffer with me. I have parents, grandparents, and younger brothers and sisters waiting to study. I have to work hard for at least 10 years to make my family live a good life. I love you, so I should not be with you. We were wrong from the beginning. I'm sorry, I hope you can forget me.
She cried into tears, hit me, bit me and kicked me. I didn't fight back, but I didn't persuade her. Long pain is better than short pain. Go abroad, my beloved girl, there will be better people and better love to compensate you. I don't want you not to enjoy your life in the best years, and it's all because of me. I am a poor man, and what I give you is far from what you deserve. I don't want us to be a family like doctors and brothers. There are contradictions between two couples who bite their teeth and support one of their hometown. That's it. Believe me, I am more miserable than you, because I want to hurt you and leave you, my favorite person.
She's gone and life goes on. Sometimes I come online to read some love stories, and every spoony heroine looks like her. I want to finish this sentence here: If I am free in 10 years, I will go to you first and just want to look at you from a distance. If you are happy, I will never bother you. If you haven't found the right one, then let me say I love you again.