Xiaoqi is my best friend, 25 years old, a graduate student of a famous university, and married. Gong Li, Zhang Ziyi, Gao Yuanyuan, Tang Wei, these big-name rivals, and no father smashed10 million as a dowry for his married daughter. But she is kind and beautiful, gentle and generous, highly educated and educated, and is a "goddess" figure in the college. When Xiao Qi decided to marry this "poor boy", as her good friends, our hearts were full of worries.
When they got married, they rented a 30-square-meter house outside the school. At that time, the house price in Tianjin had not risen, but we knew that my honest husband and parents were out-and-out farmers and could hardly afford the down payment for a house.
Fortunately, things are going well. After a few months of marriage, they bought a two-bedroom apartment a little far from the city center. One third of the down payment is borrowed from relatives and friends, and the rest comes from their "small loss" deposits and the support of both families. The rest will use provident fund loans.
"Didn't you ask for a house when you got married? Cars and houses are now the' standard' requirements for many families to marry their daughters. " Looking at her happy days after marriage, we are not ashamed to ask this question.
"The problem is that his family really can't afford a house," Xiao Qi added. "To tell the truth, although there is no house, I have never been anxious. I always believe that we can afford a house in the city we want to stay in. "
She thinks "people" are more important than houses and cars. At this point, she and her mother agreed. Mom hopes that she can find someone who is really good to herself and talk to her instead of trapping herself with a house.
Xiaoqi agrees with her mother. She thinks that her outlook on life and her husband are basically the same, and their personality is suitable. The most important thing is to have confidence in each other's ability and future. "Of course, you don't have this confidence when you are single, but when you have the other half, you will feel that two people can definitely work together." In her mind, choosing to be a partner with each other means * * * sharing responsibility. "Caring for each other is never an empty love story."
In her view, well-educated young people have knowledge and ability. If they really want a house to enhance their sense of security, it is not out of reach. "You paid money, time and energy for the house, didn't complain about being picky, and didn't take action."
Many people think that Xiao Qi is an idealistic young artist, but she is not. Her love of life has a very realistic side. She said that many parents, including girls themselves, want to marry into a rich family and become a "rich second generation". However, it makes sense for her to think that they are suitable for each other. Different living environment, economic conditions and educational background will bring many differences. Xiaoqi said that there are many examples of "becoming rich and expensive" around her, but the final ending is not like that in the TV series-Cinderella became a princess and lived a happy life from then on. "If you want to use marriage as a bet or a springboard, you must be willing to' agree'. It's not that the door is wrong, but the probability should be relatively small. " She believes that girls should be self-reliant and have the ability to live a better life.
"Never tie your happy life to someone. Even in marriage, there is no question of' sovereignty' without economic strength. " She thinks this is the naked reality.
But my other friend is not as lucky as Xiao Qi. Not long ago, her relationship with her boyfriend for two and a half years failed to have a good result because of a house. They both work in Beijing. After this round of skyrocketing housing prices, it is basically difficult to find a house with a down payment of less than 654.38+0 million. My friend's mother suggested that the man's family should put up at least a down payment for a house, and then they should pay the mortgage together after marriage. But for boyfriends, even if parents spend all their life savings and lose everything, the money raised is only a drop in the bucket. My friend suggested to my mother whether it is possible to consider that both families can make a down payment, and the income ability can completely repay the loan. But her mother used a veto, and she insisted that her daughter who had loved for more than 20 years could not marry a family that could not afford the down payment. In this "war" caused by the house, my friend was exhausted. The last two people chose to break up.
"Mom will hurt you? Why doesn't mom care about anyone but you? One day you will understand that you will be grateful to me. " This is what her mother said to her the most after her friend broke up.
Can I marry someone I love if I have a house? I asked online.
Mogao, who successfully proposed to his girlfriend on New Year's Day, admitted that having a house is not a necessary condition for marrying his beloved. In his view, the most important thing to love a person is to make her feel happy, and happiness contains many things, such as concern for daily life, love and interest, as well as two people's plans and expectations for the future. When these are met and matched, the requirements of marriage can be met.
In Mogao's view, a house in a big city is a luxury for a young man like him, and it is a condition that cannot be realized in the short term. He thinks that a girl needs a house, perhaps because she needs a sense of security. Working hard for her happiness, giving her marriage and giving her confidence in the future is also a way to give her a sense of security. But at the same time, he also admitted that the situation of himself and his girlfriend is also quite special. They have known each other for a long time and are not talking about conditional marriage. And the woman's parents never asked for this.
"Aging seems to be very serious. The state encourages young people to have a second child, and parents urge young people to get married. Unfortunately, most of the 90 s still have no money to buy a house and can't find an object. " A Wen, a netizen, said, "The key is that you don't have a house, and the person you love doesn't want to marry you."
School-age boys around also have different levels of anxiety. "Mainly from the future mother-in-law, the woman will have requirements." Chen Kai, 24, said: "People always keep up with their neighbors. For example, the old lady who danced square dance with her mother-in-law mentioned that her daughter married a family with a house and a car, and her daughter could not afford to marry well. " Chen Kai's mother also believes that even if the woman doesn't want a house at first, it is likely to be the fuse of family conflicts in the future. "People can always point to your nose and say that you didn't even buy a house for my daughter when you got married. Who are you to say now? "
Chen Kai said that since the day before he was born, the whole family has been trying to make money and save money. In the face of soaring housing prices, parents' half-life hard work has shrunk dramatically, and now they need to work harder. He wants his parents to travel and enjoy the beautiful life they have created, but they certainly won't agree, and they don't have the confidence.
Chen Lin, who has worked in Beijing for seven years, calls himself "Bimai" with a smile, that is, the person who bought a house as soon as he graduated. He said that when buying a house, the house price was not so high. Parents thought that buying a house could prevent their son from moving luggage in the rented room, and they no longer had to spend high rent to live in the partitioned room. In their concept, the most important point is that when a son has a house, the price in the marriage market will be different immediately! 29-year-old Chen Lin's marriage has been on the agenda for almost a year, but he also has his own troubles. The woman asked for her daughter's name on the real estate license, but her parents didn't agree anyway. This problem can't be solved, and his marriage with his girlfriend seems to be in the foreseeable future.
In the eyes of my Australian friend skeat, China people attach great importance to marriage. When you get married, you also attach great importance to financial problems. Her friend in China told her that as a boy, if he doesn't have a car and a house, he can't find a partner, because most girls don't want to be with him.
Kate is now studying for a doctorate in Tsinghua University. She visited a family in rural China and found that they were building a new house near their home. She asked why, and the farmer told her that because her son was old enough to find a wife, he had to have a house before finding a wife.
But in her hometown of Australia, buying a house is not the responsibility of the man. She mentioned that people who get married before the age of 28 often have no house. After marriage, save money and buy a house together. If two people are hardworking and responsible, whether they have assets should not be an obstacle to marriage. But she also has to admit that "the minimum wage in Australia is higher than the average wage in China, and the gap between wages and housing prices is not that big."
I also asked my mother this question, and wanted to know her opinion. Get the reply "find a like-minded person, the house is not urgent". I sent screenshots of my chat with my mother to the group, and everyone expressed disdain. "Your mother is a clear stream in my mother-in-law and is not representative." Even my teacher thinks, "Your mother is so active!"
But my mother is not the only one with positive energy.
(The above answers were published on 20 17-02- 18. Please refer to the current actual purchase policy. )
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