Why are you afraid of saying the wrong thing?

In Hang Cheng's consultation, many visitors will state a similar thing: that is, they are afraid of saying the wrong thing. I am afraid that what I have done will bring harm to others, or cause others to laugh at me. As a result, almost all of them adopted the same method: that is, they kept silent in front of strangers (even acquaintances). They suppressed their impulse to speak, and some even suppressed their original brilliant suggestions (they are used to denying themselves in their hearts, so they can't give themselves a fair judgment, which is obviously one of the manifestations of self-distrust). However, this fear of hurting others is not understood by others at all, but is misunderstood as dullness and weakness. Obviously, this idea doesn't work in this increasingly competitive society. The terrible thing is that long-term persistence in denying yourself and not expressing your true meaning will really make people become speechless and really make them feel powerless. Therefore, we believe that "silence is golden". From a psychological point of view, these visitors all used "neurotic defense mechanism-depression". The use of this mechanism may help us avoid some immediate pain, but for non-psychological professionals, the unconscious repression will obviously be abused, so that many important opportunities for our life development and growth are missed because of depression. If you miss these important growth opportunities, you will accumulate many psychological problems. For example, the former, afraid of saying the wrong thing, will blush and sweat because they have to talk, and will avoid social occasions more and more. Over time, normal social functions gradually fade, and the consequences can be imagined. We say that an emotionally immature person cannot be regarded as a truly mature person. The only shortcut to emotional maturity is to say how you feel. Whether it's naive or absurd (maybe it's out of the ground), you may be relieved after you say it, and you may wake up from since the enlightenment; If you can't achieve this effect once, it means that you have been depressed for a long time and need time. It is important that you get into the habit of expressing your true feelings. This is the truth that "love is natural, mature and unconstrained". In short, with pleasure, you shout! If you have pain, say it! If you are still afraid of saying the wrong thing and it is difficult to speak, then you might as well say to yourself: fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of being laughed at, go to hell! This last sentence is what Rogers, the world's top psychological counselor, often likes to say to his clients. It's not rude!