First of all, Mr. Zhou asked the employees of the company, is there anyone who finds communication difficult in life? Employees say that bosses, wives and children bother them.
Later, Mr. Zhou asked the staff to take out the paper, fold it in half, fold it in half again, tear two corners and spread it out. The end result is that no one folds evenly.
Teacher Zhou said that no one asked how to origami, and communication was one-way rather than two-way. The simplest communication is so different, let alone interpersonal communication.
For example, personality differences: the husband likes to squeeze toothpaste neatly from bottom to top, while the wife is used to squeezing toothpaste randomly from the middle, which leads to contradictions between the two, indicating that differences exist anytime and anywhere.
Teacher Zhou emphasized that the master of communication lies not in speaking but in listening. Only when your heart is open can you listen well. For example, father and daughter went on a trip, drove the wrong way, couldn't find the ticket gate, and finally missed the plane. Dad was in a good mood. He said that since it happened, he sat down for a cup of coffee. Father and daughter haven't talked for a long time. In this case, my daughter confided the secret to her father. She said that she didn't think she deserved anything good, and every time something was almost done, she would screw it up.
Under the communication with his daughter, the father understood that the divorce from his mother had caused great harm to his children, and had a deep sense of inferiority and low value. The father and the daughter cried bitterly. Imagine if the father scolded his daughter for missing the plane, they would not be able to communicate smoothly and talk to each other.
Teacher Zhou asked: Why can't many people listen to each other? Because in our communication process, 3/4 is verbal communication, and the rest includes observation, feelings, needs and intentions.
For example, if a child doesn't come home in the middle of the night and parents can't get through the phone for an hour, how will mom and dad react when they see the child coming back leisurely? The employees responded positively: they must be very angry, asking what the child did, why he didn't answer the phone, and maybe even hit him.
Teacher Zhou responded that this is a reaction that many parents will make, but emotions and beatings can't make children feel the care and care of their parents. If you communicate well, don't blame your child with fierce language. If you communicate with your child calmly, you can see your child's needs and establish better contact with your child. Let go of a lot of judgments and "should" and make changes first, and the atmosphere at home will be much better. A change will lead to a change in the family.
At the same time, Mr. Zhou mentioned that all communication needs to really love yourself. If you are dissatisfied with yourself, you don't love yourself. It is not easy to understand others while accepting and understanding yourself.
Finally, I answered many questions raised by employees, such as children's game addiction and marital conflicts. Teacher Zhou patiently answered them one by one.
Employees have said that they have benefited a lot from Mr. Zhou's lecture, and they will communicate with their relatives and colleagues better and more attentively to seek happiness and harmony in real life.
Text/Psychological Counseling Teacher Zhu