There are a few words written in front:
It's almost the end of the year. At present, a considerable proportion of career counseling focuses on "am I not suitable for this industry?" "Should I jump ship?" And so on.
However, after some consultation, the inquirer will eventually find that the professional password that was originally suitable for him has never been in a seemingly brilliant judgment or a seemingly shrewd choice. It is honest enough to tolerate a grain of sand, because this password is only hidden in your own past.
First, the case background: changing careers is not everything.
When Xiaolan came to me, she said she hoped I could help her find a suitable job.
Xiaolan, female, master, 28 years old, majoring in sociology and Chinese language and literature. Now she has been working as a copywriter in a company for three years.
"What, are you going to change careers now?" I asked her.
"Yes, Sister Xiaoli," Xiaolan began to talk about. The central idea is-
At first, I set foot in this industry purely for money, but it took me three years to feel something was wrong. Suddenly I found that I didn't seem to like this job very much, but I didn't know what kind of job I liked, so I found me.
Listening to the fatigue and confusion in Xiaolan's speech, I know this is the greatest sincerity Xiaolan can show at the other end of the phone.
So, is Xiaolan's current situation really on the threshold of re-selection, as she said?
It's not that simple.
Second, let go of all knowledge and judgment.
"Sister Xiaoli, why don't you help me sort out my values? I think many of your articles will say that I will test the values of visitors. I also want to know about it. I think this job must not match my values, otherwise there will be no job burnout like today. " Xiaolan said.
I was in no hurry, and I didn't take Xiaolan to do the values test as she thought.
"Small blue, I can hear you. You read every article of mine attentively, but what I want to know more is, what do you pay more attention to? Are you curious about what method I will use to evaluate you, or do you really want to solve the problem urgently? Of course, if I am not mistaken, you must have made many similar comments online before. " I said.
"That's right, Xiaoli elder sister, I this time is for you. You see, I have sorted out the previous evaluation results and I will send them to you. " When Xiaolan said this, the message of receiving the evaluation document popped up in my QQ window.
"But these results don't seem to have any effect, do they? Why else did you come to me? " I turned down Xiaolan's file-
"If you want to present the most authentic results, please write down these comments and the nature of your own problems in your mind. If you compare me to a hardware store, the purpose of your coming to the store is not to discuss with me how to use a hammer and how a good screwdriver feels, but to investigate what is wrong with your system. This is a more critical and valuable exploration than the tool itself. If you are willing to accept my point of view, we can continue. "
"Well, Sister Xiaoli, listen to you." Xiaolan said.
Third, what you want is not what you say at all.
I asked Xiaolan, "Have you ever thought about what the ideal working state is for you?"
Xiaolan told me almost without pause: "When I took the postgraduate entrance examination, I felt that the greatest meaning of life was to help others, so I applied for sociology. Later, after graduation, through the introduction of a senior, I entered this company and started my present job. At that time, I was still a rookie and knew nothing about many things. I simply think that since I have done it, I should do it well. After three years of persistence, I found that my career could not let me get in touch with wise people at all. Let's just say, from customers to leaders to colleagues, most of them are utilitarian. In order to please customers, they even said,' customers have abused me thousands of times, and I treat customers like first love'. Isn't this typical, please? They let go of themselves, and they asked me to do the same. Please, I am a Chinese major. Do you need these other people to tell me what to do when writing a copy? I thought about it. Altruism and wisdom are my true values. "
I was surprised by Xiaolan's indiscretion, and suddenly I had a sense of foreboding.
The questioner I met was a man who hid himself deeply.
"Xiao LAN, from what you just described, I know you must have done a lot of homework in advance, and you are really attentive to this matter. However, "I changed the topic:" According to your request to me, we need to sort out our abilities before changing careers, so as to know which abilities can be migrated and make a general judgment on the future direction of career change. Then I really want to know, in your past experience, is there anything that excites you? "
"Ha, xiao glass elder sister, you said this is a great achievement. I have prepared this question, too. Here's the thing. In the first year of work, I took the lead in organizing a classmate party. I wore decent clothes and delicate light makeup and shuttled back and forth in the party. The students all gave me thumbs up and said that my organization was meticulous and wonderful ... "Although Xiaolan said that she had been carefully prepared before, it was obvious that when she said this paragraph,
My brain keeps spinning. Where does Xiaolan's so-called sense of accomplishment come from?
Is it really from the kind of values called "altruism", as she said?
"I think Xiaolan, what you are more eager for is actually social recognition." When Xiaolan finished, I hit the floor and said.
"How is that possible? Social identity? No I don't care what other people think at all. Well, Sister Xiaoli, you must be mistaken. " Xiaolan is in a hurry to defend.
I know she hasn't realized the problem yet, and I need to wait for her.
Fourth, behind the seemingly powerful, it is actually a deep inferiority complex.
"Well, Xiao Lan, since you said that your values are altruism, I have an idea. That's it. Don't hesitate. Quit tomorrow and find a job in a non-profit organization. With your previous copywriting and planning skills, you will definitely have a greater sense of accomplishment. " I said.
"No, no", obviously, Xiaolan didn't expect me to throw such a suggestion directly: "Non-profit organizations are not profitable, and wherever they go, they are just like drinking northwest wind. To tell you the truth, Sister Xiaoli, this month's rent, water, electricity, food, clothing, housing and transportation will cost four or five thousand yuan. How much can a nonprofit organization give me? I don't have enough teeth. "
At this time, Xiaolan finally stopped thinking with her brain, but responded instinctively.
"What you want is recognition." I said.
Xiaolan was suddenly silent.
After a while, I heard a faint sob on the other end of the phone.
When she calmed down, I began to introduce the topic into my career.
"Come on, tell me about your work. Your information says all kinds of cruel words, but why have you been slow to act after three years? " I threw a substantive question.
There was another silence.
"Because I feel inferior," Xiaolan slowed down. "Sister Xiaoli, you were right just now. I was born in a rural family. Among my brothers and sisters, I am not the cleverest, nor am I the most popular with my parents. In order to make my parents pay more attention to me, I began to study hard and completed my master's degree. Now I have the highest education among my brothers and sisters. However, even so, I found that this deep inferiority complex is engraved in my bones like a brand, and I can't get rid of it. At work, I clearly had a better idea, but I was always worried that it was not perfect, so I missed the opportunity to show myself again and again. Gradually, I dare not accept any challenge, just quietly doing my familiar work ... "
A huge fog gradually dispersed.
In other words, Xiaolan's stagnant and lifeless working state is actually the result of her intentional or unintentional choice.
I see. Xiaolan said she wanted to change careers or even jump ship. In her present situation, she has no courage at all. She just used these as a fig leaf to cover up her professional maladjustment. She covered up the most fragile but real part of her heart, including her desire and greed. She knows better than anyone that she actually has no choice. She was worried that others would laugh at her cowardice and inferiority, so in her panic, she worked hard to make progress.
Fourth, grow first, then succeed.
I told Xiaolan that the sense of accomplishment was not imagined, but made by myself.
Just as she volunteered to organize a class reunion, that achievement event showed her organizational ability, communication ability and coordination ability.
Behind all abilities, you need an example to rely on, and you are never self-righteous.
At the second consultation, Xiaolan's condition was much better than the first one. Under my leadership, we will sort out our abilities together.
According to Xiaolan's existing work and work needs, we have made a capacity improvement plan.
Xiaolan breathed a sigh of relief when the plan was put forward.
She said that this consultation was really amazing, more effective than any online evaluation she had done before, and opened her pent-up heart for many years.
In fact, the person she really needs to thank is none other than herself.
We finally worked out this plan-
1, try to do your job well and try to express your views, which is the first step;
2. After expressing opinions, you will receive all kinds of feedback, from which you can find your own advantages and find your own shortcomings;
3. Give full play to your communication skills, take the initiative to make friends with outstanding predecessors in the workplace, learn from successful people, and learn from their working methods and experience;
4. Establish professional external contacts and serve every customer well. Behind every customer, there are a lot of resources. Through long-term in-depth contact with customers, we will find more opportunities.
Tips:
There is a saying in the King's Speech: "This man can really achieve something, but he has devoted all his energy to dealing with me."
An important sign to measure a person's career maturity is to see whether he can face his true self and accept the unsatisfactory parts of reality until he finds a breakthrough and makes practical improvements.
Success is never written on a calendar. No one in the workplace can pass a perfect career plan and wait for success by doing nothing.
Success requires down-to-earth struggle. In this process, the real opponent is actually no one else, just a cowardly and comfortable villain.
Career planner: Zhao Xiaoli.
-The end-
-About the author-
?
Zhao Xiaoli is a professional writer and career planner.
He is the author of "Fear of trouble is your biggest obstacle" and "Please stop ineffective efforts"