Now some visitors in the consulting room have such a feature-they have consulted before coming. Many visitors said that they have been to many consulting institutions and consulted many consultants, but they just feel useless. Some people will say that this time I was forced by my family and didn't want to come because it was useless, but we don't discuss visitors here.
Take a quick look first. There are two people in the consulting relationship, the visitor and the consultant. Both of them affect the effect of consultation. There is a metaphor, we can regard consultants as "tools" or "anti-virus systems". We have the function of killing and patching, but all our psychological problems and troubles are viruses and loopholes. Now we can see what antivirus software 360, Kingsoft, Kaspersky and Rising are installed on our computers.
Many of us have many misunderstandings about the choice of consultants. For example, I have to find an expert, I have to find the most expensive one, I have to do something …
Is the qualification of consultant important? Of course it is, and it's very important. However, we may need to change or increase our focus. When receiving the phone call, many people came to ask if the consultant had a qualification certificate and what level it was. Here, I tell you responsibly that this is the most unreliable, and the consultant's grade certificate has little to do with the consultant's level and ability. This certificate is only a stepping stone to enter the consulting field. When choosing a consultant, we need to know more about his own consulting time, personal growth time, supervision he has received and what kind of consulting he is better at.
By collecting data, we know that some basic information of consultants, such as consultation time, professional field, etc., is ok, at least it seems so. This is the consultant I need? We need to have a big problem.
We chose such a qualified and experienced consultant, but our problem has not been solved. ! Why is this?
There is another important factor for us to ask for help, matching. The simplest thing is that in our social circle, there are people we like very much, and we are willing to spend more time with them; I don't like it. I hate rejection. The same is true of psychological counseling. If you have received psychological counseling, you can simply recall whether you felt disgusted with your counselor, disliked him or didn't feel anything during psychological counseling.
In fact, it is not that the consultants we choose are incompetent, but that they are "not matched" with us.
We need to get in touch with them and feel how they make us feel: What's your first impression of him? Can you trust him? Do you think he can understand himself? Think he is friendly and cares about himself?
If you feel good, you can decide to go through a spiritual journey with him. With his company and help, you can find yourself, find yourself and live a better life.
If you feel bad at first, you can leave him, whether he is a doctor or a professor. Maybe he is someone else's good counselor, but it has nothing to do with us.
Of course, there is another situation. If you feel good at first, but not in the middle, we can tell him directly how we feel. This may be a necessary stage of psychological counseling, but it may also be that his psychological counseling is not good enough.
If we choose a good counselor, but he doesn't seem suitable for us, we can be honest with him. Maybe he will know who is more suitable for his situation and recommend it to a more suitable psychological counselor.
Besides, we don't have to worry about our departure. Before determining the consultant, we can also have a brief telephone communication with the consultant we are looking for, or feel whether the level of the consultant is suitable for us by telephone.
The above are some things I want to tell you, which we need to consider when choosing a consultant. I hope I can help you. Finally, again, people who know consultants are still consultants, so if you know people in the local consultant circle, you can ask them.