Lead: A psychological counselor is a person who helps clients solve various psychological problems and has a qualification certificate issued by Ministry of Human Resources and Social Security, China. It is one of the occupations of health housekeeper, which mainly solves people's mental health problems.
First, the significance of personal growth as a personal counselor
Psychological counseling is a process in which psychological counselors use the theories and methods of psychology, especially psychological counseling and therapy, to help visitors recover or improve their mental health and promote their personal growth through good counseling relations. Modern Chinese dictionary? Grow up? The explanation is: development to maturity. So-called? Mature? It refers to both the stage of complete development of organisms and the degree of perfection. ? Grow up? First, the volume and weight of living things gradually increase under certain living conditions; The second is to point out the birth and growth, as well as the emergence and growth. Therefore, literally speaking, growth is the development process of an organism towards maturity and perfection, as well as the degree and conditions it has reached. For people, individual growth should include physical and psychological development towards maturity and perfection, as well as the degree and conditions of development. Humanistic psychotherapy regards growth as the ultimate goal of treatment. Rogers, the founder of humanistic psychotherapy, believes that the so-called growth is a basically positive orientation that everyone has, and the transformation to positive, constructive, self-fulfilling, mature growth and socialized development is the entry to the transformation of self-worth, flexibility, self-esteem and respect for others. Rogers believes that in Kierkegaard's words, it is? Be yourself? Or a translator? Is it true?/You don't say. , that is, to become a person. Growth mentioned by Rogers is not psychological growth in a broad sense, because its content is still too broad for psychological counseling and treatment, and it also includes many psychological factors such as knowledge, ability and experience that psychological counseling and treatment will not involve. Apparently, Rogers'? Grow up? More importantly, for himself, personal psychological factors involve personal spirituality and self-development, that is, personal growth or self-growth, which is the effort and process of becoming a person in English. As a profession, psychological counseling generally requires professional quality, that is, professional knowledge and ability related to the profession, just as architectural design needs architectural specialty and ability and artistic design spirituality and ability, and accounting needs knowledge and ability in accounting and calculation. For psychological counseling, it is professional knowledge and ability in psychology, especially psychological counseling and treatment. As a special profession, psychological counseling also needs special requirements beyond the general professional quality, that is, what kind of person the psychological counselor is, the maturity and perfection of his personality, the ability of self-cognition and growth, and the level and realm he has reached. Because,? In the process of consultation, the most meaningful resource that a consultant can bring into the consultation relationship is himself? .
Holland, an American career guidance expert, puts forward that personality types and career types should match each other, that is, each career type has its own personality characteristics. Psychological counselor belongs to social type and is one of the six personality types defined by Holland. This type of personality is characterized by values that attach importance to social ethical issues. In social service activities, they like to teach, cultivate, teach, treat and consult others, are considerate and have excellent interpersonal skills, but they don't like to deal with materials, tools, machinery and other physical objects. Kavanagh emphasized that effective consultation depends more on the personality characteristics of the consultant than on the knowledge and skills of the consultant. He believes that knowledge and skills are not unimportant, but because education is difficult to change people's basic personality characteristics. Indeed, in real life, some people, without professional knowledge and skills training, can form a good one? Favorable relationship? Rogers *, helping those who ask for help to live a better life, seems to be? A natural counselor? . Therefore, what kind of people engage in psychological counseling is more important than what kind of counseling theories and methods must be mastered.
However, psychological counseling, as a specific profession, can't achieve the purpose of helping others only by personal innate quality. So psychology affirms the existence of individual innate qualities, but does not recognize an individual? Born a consultant? The facts. In addition to strict professional knowledge and skills training, there are also higher requirements for personality traits. Guy, an American scholar, believes that an effective psychological counselor must have the following personality characteristics:
(1) has a strong interest in people, full of curiosity and likes to explore;
(2) Have the ability to listen;
(3) Good at communication and like to communicate with others;
(4) ***, be good at understanding others and put yourself in others' shoes;
(5) Strong emotional insight and good at dealing with various emotional problems;
(6) introspection, having a clear understanding of one's own abilities, and being good at grasping oneself in the process of psychological counseling;
(7) the ability to tolerate and control their dissatisfaction;
(8) Humor can reveal the positive and interesting side of life. These characteristics are obviously not covered by social professional personality types, nor can a person with the innate quality of psychological counselors fully do it.
To become an effective psychological counselor, the formation and perfection of his personality traits can be achieved not only through the professional knowledge and skills training of psychological counseling, but also through the accumulation of counselors' work experience. This is a very important way and channel, that is, the personal growth of psychological counselors, which is an essential process to become an effective psychological counselor and a lifelong and sustainable personal development topic for an effective psychological counselor. As Rogers said when summing up his own treatment experience, whether I can create a relationship that promotes the independent growth of others depends on my own personal growth. And then what? If I want to promote the growth of others related to me, I must keep growing myself. ?
Second, what kind of person should I be? Personal growth goals of psychological counselors
What it means to be a man, that is, what are the specific goals and basic standards of personal growth, is the primary problem of psychological counselors' personal growth.
Rogers believes that the personal growth goals of counselors and clients are the same. In my opinion, what an individual wants to achieve most, whether consciously or unconsciously, is to be himself? . Therefore, if the counselor can't be the true self, he can't help the client become the true self.
Specifically, become? Who you really are? , which means openness to experience. The openness of experience is the opposite of self-defense. In real life, based on social factors such as moral norms, social values, educational requirements, expectations of others, and psychological factors such as maintaining personal self-esteem and maintaining emotional balance, individuals form various psychological defense lines in the process of growing up, such as stereotypes, irrational beliefs, and sensitivity and strong emotions towards some special people, things and things. The more changeable and stubborn the self-defense formed by individuals, the more difficult it is for individuals to form self-protection, isolate themselves from their true selves and form various personality masks.
What does it mean to be loyal to yourself? Keep an open mind to the truth that exists in yourself and your environment at this time? In this way, in the face of real life and conflict situations, individuals can keep an open attitude towards all kinds of experiences and hold a more realistic attitude.
Become? Who you really are? It also means trusting yourself completely. To completely believe in yourself is to believe in your feelings, accept your emotions, realize the needs of society and yourself, and love the richness, complexity and uncertainty that exist in yourself. At this time, individuals are no longer afraid and resistant to their emotions, impulses and ideas, nor do they need to mobilize their consciousness to suppress and restrain themselves, forming psychological conflicts and psychological defenses. ? An individual can better mobilize all his organisms and his conscious thoughts to participate in the consideration, consideration and weighing of each stimulus, need and requirement and the corresponding weight and intensity. Thanks to this comprehensive consideration and trade-off, he can find that those behavior processes that seem to be closest to meeting all his needs in the current situation can meet both immediate needs and long-term needs. ?
Become? Who you really are? It also means forming your own internal evaluation source. If an individual always looks at things simply by the evaluation criteria of society and others, and decides his thoughts and words and deeds by the satisfaction of others, then he can't listen to his own wishes and meet his own needs.
Become? Who you really are? Our individuals will no longer just rely on others' standard life and make decisions and choices for them, but listen carefully to their inner voices and understand what is the way to express their true self's life and behavior on the basis of understanding social standards and other people's evaluation. On this basis, he will make his own decisions and bear the consequences of his own choices. Become a unique and responsible person? At the same time, you will let yourself? Experience the uneasiness caused by the sense of strength and responsibility? Improve your tolerance for uncertainty.
Become? Who you really are? It also means the will to be a process. Individuals have a stronger will and desire to learn constantly in life, grow constantly in experience, actively participate in a flowing and gradual flow of discovering their own experiences, and regard themselves as a process of growth and change, rather than becoming a standard product or a solidified state, a specific personality. Him? I tend to give up some definite goals that I must achieve in this life and accept myself as a process of generation, growth and flow. ? Therefore, in the process of growing up, we should pay more attention to personal experience and self-cognition, and tolerate the process of long-term experience accumulation and continuous or even lifelong learning.
Third, how to become a personal psychological counselor for personal growth
How to be a man? This is a question of the ways and means of psychological counselors' personal growth.
Rogers thinks? If I can form a beneficial relationship with myself so that I can be keenly aware of and accept my feelings, then I will probably form a beneficial relationship with others. Therefore, the basic way for counselors' personal growth is to form a sincere and transparent relationship with themselves through the help or self-help of others, so as to promote self-awareness and realize personal growth.
Using this basic method, we can achieve personal growth in many fields and spaces in real life. In his book Skills Training for Helpers, Egan talked about the top ten growth tasks that individuals face in life. These main growth tasks include personal ability, independence to achieve the expected goals independently, values, self-identity, intimacy with others, sexual attitude, love quality, marriage and family, professional status and attitude, expanding social contacts and taking care of leisure life. In Egan's view, we need to constantly reflect on these growth tasks, consider personal experiences related to them, and promote our own growth, and then we can apply our growth experiences to the role of helping others.
This personal growth process, which forms a beneficial relationship with oneself, has mainly experienced the following psychological development stages. First, there are growth problems and growth motives. When the counselor is anti-sympathetic, exhausted after a period of employment, or has emotional problems and psychological crisis in life, the counselor will have the desire and motivation to change himself and reality. Especially when the growth problem seriously affects one's work and life, the motivation and desire for self-growth will become stronger. Psychological counselors can try to deal with their personal problems and achieve personal growth by accepting the supervision of supervisors or therapists, seeking peer help and personal self-help Second, reproduce relevant experiences and vent their emotions. The personal problems of counselors are closely related to their own growth experience. Therefore, it is very important for psychological counselors to return to the relevant situation, re-experience and sincerely face themselves, accept their emotions on this basis, and vent their feelings that are suppressed and bound because they are not accepted by themselves. Third, strengthen self-insight and realize self-integration. On the basis of accepting and understanding oneself, improve the self-insight ability of counselors and gradually enhance the motivation of personal growth. Counselors are more capable of adjusting their cognition and changing their reaction patterns, and their spontaneity and creativity will be enhanced and they will be closer to themselves? Who you really are? Become a person? . Psychological counselors can effectively improve their mental health and personality by integrating their own experiences and feelings in dealing with personal problems into themselves and their personality.
The personal growth of consultants must also rely on certain channels and ways.
The main ways for personal growth of consultants are: first, theoretical study and skill training. Through the training of professional theoretical knowledge and professional skills, it can promote consultants to improve their theoretical level and professional ability, promote self-reflection, enhance self-awareness, improve their motivation and desire for self-growth, and master certain self-growth methods. Second, growth training and counseling. Psychological counselors can receive standardized personal growth training, or professional psychological counseling and treatment. For example, after completing basic professional training, American psychoanalysts must undergo a one-year personal analysis at least five times a week while practicing in psychoanalytic institutions for three years. This kind of personal growth-oriented training and consultation is very beneficial for counselors to obtain professional personal growth and systematically solve personal growth problems before starting their careers. Third, consultation and supervision or peer assistance. Accepting supervision in the consultation process is not only conducive to improving the theoretical level and skills of consultation, but more importantly, promoting the personal growth of consultants. Foreign professional consultants generally have to pass hundreds to thousands of hours of professional supervision before they can have professional qualifications. Moreover, at every stage of the consultant's development, there will be different levels of personal growth problems, which need the guidance and help of the supervisor. Mutual assistance among peers can also play a role in mutual supervision to a certain extent. Fourth, engage in consulting practice. The survey in Ledek shows that consulting work has a positive impact on the personal growth of consultants. It is embodied in improving self-awareness and life wisdom, enhancing acceptance of self and others, promoting psychological maturity and personality perfection, and so on # $! %。 Therefore, psychological counseling itself can help others and improve the degree and realm of personal growth. Fifth, self-analysis and self-cognition. If the counselor has mastered certain personal growth theories and skills and has sufficient personal growth strength and ability, he can independently complete some personal growth problems, including analyzing growth experiences, sorting out life needs, dealing with job burnout and anti-empathy, realizing unfinished complex, changing irrational beliefs, changing adverse reaction patterns and so on. However, some growth problems that cannot be completed independently or carried out in depth must be carried out through training, counseling and treatment, supervision or peer help.
To sum up, psychological counselors must fully realize the importance of personal growth to their career development, work achievements and personal happiness, and consciously and systematically devote themselves to achieving personal growth goals through correct channels, constantly improve their mental health level and personality maturity, so as to make their professional quality more complete and their professional efficiency better played. Personal growth should also become an important part of psychological counselors' vocational training, qualification recognition and continuing education, so as to improve the professional level and professionalism of psychological counselors in China as a whole.
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