During the Spring Festival, my aunt went to our house to cry again.
The thing is, my cousin talked about the object for several years and was going to get married. menstruation didn't agree.
The reason is that my cousin's bride price has gone up in recent years. Others married their daughters and received a bride price of 500,000 or 600,000. My aunt didn't want to lose money.
My cousin's object is a foreigner, not to mention that the custom there is to give a bride price of 30 thousand to 50 thousand. He really doesn't have that much money, so let's discuss with my aunt about One Happy and Fifty Thousand.
My aunt refused, but my uncle thought this young man was nice. Since customs are different, we should compromise according to the actual situation.
When my aunt saw that no one in the family was United with her, she ran to our house and cried and complained.
My aunt cried, regardless of the ridicule of others, I insisted on sending her a girl to college, hoping that she could stand up for me, but in the end it was so disappointing! The girls in the village have the highest academic qualifications, but the bride price is the lowest! How can I meet people in the future!
Other girls get married, have a car and a house, and can leave hundreds of thousands. She wants nothing! I dare not say anything when others ask, I am ashamed of her! If I had known this, I might as well not study for her!
My mother was busy comforting my aunt, but I received my cousin's WeChat.
Cousin has her own ideas in everything, but she is also a very filial person. She asked me, you said, did I really embarrass my mother?
I answered her, how is it possible? I have met your boyfriend, Gao Shuaishuai, a famous returnee with a master's degree. Although I didn't buy a new house, I have such a big villa at home. Besides, didn't his parents promise to buy you a suite in two years when the economy is better?
Cousin said, but my mother doesn't look at these, just look at whether she has given them now, and if she doesn't, it doesn't count. It pains me to think that she thinks I am ashamed.
I said, what are you ashamed of? I often show off you with my classmates! Beautiful and handsome boyfriends, all from high flyers, have good family conditions. We all have a bottom in our hearts, so why compete with others?
My aunt worked hard all her life, and we all saw it. But most of her misfortunes come from her own comparison.
After my cousin graduated, menstruation pointed to her for a better life, but my cousin, a girl from a poor family, is not so easy to get ahead.
So my aunt often uses other people's income to stimulate her, saying in front of everyone, Oh, your classmate's annual salary is 300,000, and her mother can enjoy it.
Seeing my friend wearing a gold bracelet, I asked him if his son-in-law bought it. After spending more than 9000 yuan, I said strangely, where did you get such a good son-in-law? Introduce me next time.
Seeing that my cousin's partner bought her a new mobile phone and took her to travel, my aunt sneered, "I don't have the money for the bride price, but I have the money to travel, right?"
My aunt can always have a good chat with my cousin. Everyone knows that she doesn't love her cousin, but because of the comparison everywhere, the mother and daughter agree more and more.
Cousin said that she didn't want to go home more and more. Every time she comes back, she has to adjust her mentality for a long time before she can live a normal life. She especially hopes to earn 1 10,000 yuan to her aunt, so that she won't feel indebted.
Because of the comparison, the warm family relationship is extremely poor, and finally it is oneself who suffers.
I have to say that women's misfortunes are mostly compared.
02
In fact, most people's lives, although not so good, are not so bad.
Just like my aunt, my cousin is not very good at making money, but every time she goes home, she either buys a vacuum cleaner to lighten her aunt's burden, or brings some fresh food that can't be bought at home, and gives her some living expenses when she leaves.
My cousin's boyfriend, although there is no way to buy another suite in a big city at present, has a good family background and his parents support him everywhere in his life.
My aunt always thinks that other people's lives are infinitely beautiful, but she doesn't know how many grievances others have secretly kept.
Life always has its ups and downs. And when a woman can only see the perfection of others and her own shortcomings forever, then she must have no happiness at all.
A woman who likes to compare with others will not be happy.
Comparing with others is a never-ending process, because there will always be people better than you around you.
Maybe you finally bought a new house of 100 square meters and suddenly found yourself changing the hairstyle of a big villa;
Maybe you are happily wearing the gold ring your husband gave you, brushing your circle of friends and finding the big diamond ring that your friend has sunburned;
Maybe you are celebrating your children's entrance to college, but when you go out, you find someone else's children holding a scholarship from Tsinghua.
This contrast instantly makes me feel miserable. It's hard to buy an ordinary house, and my husband and children are disappointing. The original happiness is instantly indifferent.
I bought a house, received a gift from my husband, and my child was admitted to college. Obviously, it was a happy event, but because of the comparison, the happy event became dull.
To be a man, you should look at the dishes and eat according to your own situation.
It's not that other people's lives are always the best, but that what you can hold in your hand is the best.
How are you? You don't know until you ask yourself.
It depends on whether the days are getting better and better. Don't compare with others, compare with yourself in the past.
In the past, my uncle was a truck driver, and he often drove a sports car to deliver goods, so he could not accompany his wife and children.
My aunt carefully calculated my uncle's hard-earned money and raised two children.
Without family background and foreign aid, when my cousin was a child, the life of the whole family was really difficult.
Now, my uncle runs a small supermarket. Although it is not rich or expensive, it is better than not running around and making your wife hot.
Cousins can also work to earn money, support themselves and subsidize their families. My brother is about to graduate, and the whole family has a good life.
But these, my aunt can't see. Although life is getting better and better, it is not as good as others, which is not good.
Whether a family is warm or not depends mainly on the hostess.
If the hostess can be content, the whole family can live in harmony.
If the hostess compares this with that all day, the whole family will be nervous and depressed.
Not comparing doesn't mean you don't know.
When you marry a man, you don't have to compare him with others to see if he is more handsome and rich.
However, you must know whether he is self-motivated and considerate to you.
Just like my cousin's boyfriend, although he hasn't made it, it's only a matter of time before his IQ goes up and he is willing to work to earn a solid life.
Although he didn't give his cousin a beautiful and overwhelming bride price, he also took out all his savings, and their family contracted all the expenses of the wedding.
Moreover, after his aunt objected, he has visited many times sincerely, and expressed his understanding of his aunt's thoughts and advised his cousin not to quarrel with his parents.
In view of this, my cousin and uncle think that he is a reliable person and can be entrusted for life.
And if a man is unwilling to pay the bride price for his own benefit, and his mother-in-law runs away when he is in a dilemma, encouraging his girlfriend to break up with her mother-in-law, then he is definitely not worth marrying.
03
My hometown neighbors Zhao Shu and Zhao Yi had a very bleak Spring Festival last year.
Their son, Xiao Wei, was afraid to go home because of gambling debts, and fled to other places to take refuge, even afraid to come back during the Spring Festival.
A few years ago, Zhao Yi saw that others had built small buildings. She thinks Serena studies so badly that going to school is a waste of money. You'd better drop out of school and go to work.
Serena is smart, too. She didn't go to the construction site to find a job, but took advantage of the rise of e-commerce platform and opened an online shop.
Because the time is ripe to enter, Serena earned her first bucket of gold by selling shoes.
Zhao Yi happily from ear to ear, no position at home, finally stand tall.
Zhao Yi simply asked Serena to buy a house directly in the city. Serena said, if I spend all my money on buying a house, I'm afraid I won't be able to turn around.
But Zhao Yi must buy a house before the whole family. Serena had to obey her mother's orders.
Not long after buying a house, e-commerce began to crack down on pirated shoes, products were taken off the shelves, supply was discussed, and there was still a backlog of goods in hand.
Serena was in a hurry and was cheated by several friends on the gambling table.
At first, Serena always won money. When Zhao Yi saw this, he simply made supper every night to support him in gambling.
Later, Serena entered the game, and the more gambling, the more gambling, and even usury.
Serena ran back to her hometown when the creditor came after her. While the creditor was swearing at the entrance of the village, Serena secretly ran to other places.
After hiding for half a year, I still couldn't hold back. I sold my house, paid some debts and returned to poverty overnight.
Zhao Yi hid at home and cried. What have I done? My life is too bitter!
Zhao Yi felt very unhappy, but she didn't know that it was not God who was responsible for her misfortune, but herself.
Serena would not have dropped out of school and entered the society when her thoughts were not yet mature if she was not in a hurry to compare with others.
If you are not in a hurry to buy a suite first, maybe Serena will not lose her judgment because of the tight capital chain.
Maybe Serena wouldn't get deeper and deeper if she wasn't addicted to gambling.
Most women's misfortunes begin with comparison.
I feel uneasy, but I am not starting from myself, but pinning my hopes on my husband and children.
A woman's misfortune is a family's misfortune. Her resentment influenced the choice of her husband and children.
Let go of some face comparisons and really pay attention to Lizi's life, and you will be much happier.