However, as children grow up, challenges will follow. When the lovely baby begins to have all kinds of behaviors that make us headache and crazy, we begin to feel that we can't spoil the child any more, and we have to make rules, so we can't help but become strict in words and behaviors. Every time I lose my temper with my child, I can't help regretting myself, and then I will lower my requirements and meet my child's needs as much as possible. In this way, swinging between connivance and strictness, children become more at a loss.
In our positive parenting class, we learned to raise children with a "kind and firm" attitude and a "neither punishment nor arrogance" method. Kindness is respect for others, and firmness is respect for yourself and the situation. Although there are only five simple words, it is not easy to do it, because only by sincerely respecting and accepting children will you win their cooperation, otherwise all tools and methods will become another means of controlling children.
Kindness requires parents to control their emotions. This requires that parents should not be led by their children's emotions when facing their children's emotions, nor should they affect their emotions because of their children's emotions. They should separate their emotions from their children's emotions. Look at children's emotions objectively from the perspective of a third party, don't comment, and don't use your own standards to measure children's behaviors and emotions.
"firmness" requires parents to be responsible for what they say. This requires parents to think twice before speaking. In the process of communicating with children or educating them, we should be reasonable and patient. When you say it, you must do it Only in this way can children take their parents' words seriously, and their parents' words and deeds can influence and restrain them and let them distinguish whether their actions are appropriate or not.
On the way of learning positive discipline, I feel the power of "kindness and firmness" more and more. It can not only stimulate children's inner growth motivation, cultivate their good quality, but also win the foundation of children's cooperation!