My mother said that my cousin had just returned from Hong Kong, so I went to her house to chat with her. When I met her, she just asked coldly, "Why are you here?" My heart sank when I heard it. This attitude obviously doesn't welcome me!
The atmosphere is really awkward. I sat for a while, trying to find out what I did to her.
My cousin didn't pay much attention to me at all, and kept brushing her mobile phone, but my mother-in-law took me to ask questions. I didn't think my cousin meant to chat with me, so I made an excuse.
On the way home, I was very sad. My cousin and I have had a good relationship since childhood. When we were both single girls, we often chatted until dawn.
I remember one afternoon, the breeze blew and the sun shone into the room through the window. My cousin and I were lying barefoot on the sofa with masks on our faces. We listened to Pu Shu, ate papaya and laughed. We are always so dissolute and beautiful.
Thinking of this, my tears welled up again. There must be some misunderstanding between us. I have to find her WeChat to know.
I was shocked when I opened our dialog box. In the last month, she sent me nearly 10 messages, but I didn't reply.
The first article said that my daughter had a fever for four days, but she still didn't have a fever. She was going to the city for a checkup and asked me if I had time to accompany her to the hospital. I vaguely remember this wechat. When I saw it, it was midnight. I thought about calling during the day, but later I couldn't get through, so I forgot.
Second, she asked me what good financial products my company had. She wants to learn financial management knowledge. I remember that I was very busy and didn't reply to her.
……
Until the last one, she said, "You are really too busy, so I won't bother you."
To tell the truth, I didn't listen to the last few, because the unit competition was very busy during that time and I had to write a manuscript at night. I am rarely distracted by other things and rarely open WeChat.
After listening to the following WeChat, I don't want to feel guilty. I can feel that she is eager to talk to me, but there is no news from me.
Today, my cousin did this to me, and I accepted it, because my indifference and lack of explanation hurt her heart when she needed me.
At the same time, I have a clear understanding in my heart: your attitude towards me hides my attitude towards you.
02
Your attitude is like a mirror, reflecting the way you treat it. If you smile at it, it will respond to your smile. If you ignore it, it will respond to your indifference. It's absolutely true
I remember that at the beginning of graduation practice, Juan and I had the honor to practice in the same unit. Because we are alumni, we usually have dinner together, but it's just dinner.
As far as Yu Juan is concerned, as long as people who are interested are involved, she will be busy and focused, and look like a fly. Without interests, she is arrogant and indifferent, which makes her colleagues very disgusted and speaks loudly behind her back.
On one occasion, the unit organized an outdoor barbecue, and only people who usually chat with each other got together to make jokes. At this time, Juan was alone and looked a little bleak.
After all, I came from a school, and I want to invite her to join us. My colleague stopped me and said, "It's not our fault, man, don't live too philistine. Your attitude towards others determines others' attitude towards you! "
You are not sincere with others. Although some people don't protest your attitude, they are usually far away from you. If you can't contact, you won't contact. This is also the response of others to your attitude.
03
Great literary works are always based on life.
In Qian Zhongshu's Fortress Besieged, the relationship between Fang Hung-chien and Miss Su is somewhat complicated. In fact, Fang Hung-chien didn't like Miss Su, but for his vanity and selfishness, he continued to be ambiguous and even kissed Miss Su on a moonlit night.
Then he was afraid that Miss Su would pester him and misunderstand Miss Tang he really liked, so he was anxious to leave Miss Su.
This move immediately annoyed Miss Su. She said many bad things about Miss Tang, Fang Hung-chien's sweetheart, and Fang Hung-chien missed the person he liked.
In my opinion, this incident is due to Fang Hung-chien's attitude, which is why Miss Su retaliated.
The same is true of men and women in marriage.
A good friend's quiet flash marriage feels a bit "old-fashioned". I feel superior to my husband in all aspects, and I am still bossing my husband around on the wedding day. We all think that this marriage will not last.
However, six years later, not only did they not divorce, but the way they talked quietly with their husbands was business-like, gentle and gentle, like a different person. We asked her why she changed, and quietly confessed that her husband's attitude changed her.
Quietly, if he is in a bad mood and doesn't want to eat, his husband will say, "If you don't eat, I have no appetite and I won't eat." Quietly had to accompany him to dinner.
Quiet, if she wants to travel, her husband always supports her and tries to accompany her every time. If she really can't leave, arrange everything and give her a "one-person trip"!
We have never seen a quiet husband with a smelly face. He is always so modest, treats people and makes everyone comfortable. We are all willing to chat with him.
Once my quiet mother had a serious illness, and she was in a bad mood and unhappy every day.
Her husband works and sleeps normally every day, buying food and cooking, and decocting medicine for Jingjing's mother.
Quietly began to be extreme, and I was very dissatisfied with my husband's calmness. One day, it finally broke out in the middle of the night: "It's really not your real mother. Always a leisurely look. "
Her husband looked at Jing Jing angrily and said, "Be quiet, my mother is my two closest relatives. I have to hold on. If you can't hold on, my mother will still have me! "
I see. I was deeply moved.
The change of quiet attitude stems from her husband's attitude towards her.
In marriage, when a woman meets a man who loves her, the married woman will become more and more gentle;
When a man meets a woman who loves him, the married man will feel more and more responsible.
Marriage, the philosophy of "mutual influence", is really like a fish drinking water, knowing yourself and yourself.
04
"Psychological Counselor" said: People's emotions and feelings are a subjective feeling, or an inner experience. If external things meet our needs, it will lead to positive emotional experience, otherwise it will lead to negative emotional experience.
So "your attitude towards me hides my attitude towards you" is a normal psychology that constitutes emotions and emotions.
We don't have to escape, let alone feel gloomy inside. This is just an experience that every normal person will have.
Empathy, standing from other people's point of view, cultivating feelings, etc., are all correct psychological motives to teach us that "your attitude towards me hides my attitude towards you."
When most of us will ask others how to treat us, or feel that others don't understand us, we might as well think about how we treat others. Because the relationship is mutual and exchangeable, and it is also equal self-value protection.
Therefore, we should make good use of the psychology that "your attitude towards me hides my attitude towards you" and master the ability of "painting a crumpled piece of paper into a landscape painting". So as to manage their own parent-child, husband and wife, friends and other relationships and find the true meaning of happiness!