To put it simply, the job characteristics of the confidante are as follows: contact, listener, discoverer, confidential, caring, comforter and introducer.
Specific analysis:
The so-called talk is just the external image of the confidante's work, knowing how to listen and express; In fact, the most important feature of a confidante is helping others: solving problems and emotional support; We may not be able to solve his problems, but we can give him some psychological help and comfort, that is, we can not only solve his problems but also provide some emotional support; But you know, the so-called problem solving is not to give him advice or let him do what you say; We help him see himself clearly, understand himself and see the situation clearly; This is actually to solve the problem, and the final decision is still himself; We didn't help him make a decision.
The listener is a contact: he is in direct contact with the front-line speaker through telephone voice, so we need to know that the object of our contact is a living person, who expresses his feelings to us, and he feels that he has no thought and will to make decisions and choices.
The listener is also a listener: we listen patiently and the other person tells us his story. We hold an uncritical attitude and don't label casually, so that he has a chance to express himself.
The listener is also a discoverer: he helps the speaker understand himself. The discovery here is not the problem of the speaker, but the problem of helping the speaker know himself, but the problem of me knowing him.
The listener is also a secret keeper: we should keep his expression completely secret, but in some cases, he wants to hurt others or himself, the principle of confidentiality should be broken. When you can't decide, you can talk to a professional.
The listener is also a caring person: we give unconditional attention. We want the speaker to know that we have seen him and we care about him. At the same time, we will not label and criticize him at will. We may not understand him, but at least we are willing to accept him. To accept is to admit that I don't know you, but I am willing to accept you.
The listener is still a comforter. We give appropriate language encouragement, comfort and support. Sometimes the motivation a person needs is as simple as that, so we don't want to complicate everything, as if we must help him, and we must think and analyze everything clearly. Sometimes he may need a little comfort.
Finally, the listener is still an introducer, and sometimes we have to help the speaker seek other social support. For example, including social welfare, psychological counseling, and even medical care; We give him some ways to let him know how to help himself.