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"Being wronged" has always been a common contradiction in marriage.
Between newlyweds, because of the husband's misconduct, the wife and mother-in-law get along and are criticized and targeted. At this time, for the newly married wife, there must be grievances or dissatisfaction in her heart.
However, considering that I have just passed the door, I often have to compromise temporarily in order to take care of the overall situation.
Middle-aged couples often quarrel, have a cold war and don't even say anything when they quarrel because they have accumulated too many disappointments and contradictions. Some people seem to love each other in front of outsiders, but they shut the door and ignore each other.
As for the old couple, after decades of ups and downs, their feelings have long been smoothed by life, and the feelings between the two people are more inclined to family. You should ask a woman who has been married for decades how dissatisfied she is with her wife. I believe she can say a lot.
Perhaps, this is marriage. Everyone comes and goes in this long river. Although the river is calm, the real marriage life has already been choppy.
I went to my aunt's house a while ago and heard her talk about a 53-year-old woman in their village. The other person's surname is Su, so I'll call her Aunt Su here.
Aunt Su is from Suzhou. When young, she followed her husband to his hometown. They have lived for 30 years, and now the children are all grown up. The eldest son has graduated from college, and the youngest son is in senior three. It stands to reason that this time is the age when Aunt Su enjoys life and can take her wife out for a trip.
Unexpectedly, Aunt Su had the idea of divorce.
At first, my aunt heard that Aunt Su was getting a divorce, and she looked shocked. Because I am close to Aunt Su at ordinary times, I know something about her. In her opinion, Aunt Su's husband is very kind to Aunt Su. Although he is dull, he basically gives her all the money he earns.
Aunt Sue's two sons are also very filial. They go home as soon as they have a holiday and often help Aunt Su. In my aunt's opinion, it's too easy for Aunt Su to get divorced at this age.
But although Aunt Su has a close relationship with her elder sister-in-law, she is actually a very cautious person, and it is not easy to have a heart-to-heart relationship. Of course, another reason is that she thinks it is ok to communicate with others, and there is no need to say something bad to make people make irresponsible remarks.
Is Aunt Su happy in her married life?
Perhaps for ordinary people, having such a husband and son should be happy, but Aunt Su is different. She believes that a truly happy life is not only a superficial life, but also an inner pursuit.
For Aunt Su, who always likes literature and is romantic by nature, it seems that she still has expectations for her lover like a little girl, while Uncle Su is a clown. He can't understand aunt Sue. Although I seem to love her very much, I still have less respect for Aunt Su because of male chauvinism.
When she first got married, Aunt Su said many times that she wanted to go back to her parents' house because she was not used to life here and her diet was different. At that time, Uncle Su's job was not very stable. In order to save the fare, he advised Aunt Su to put up with it again and wait until she earned some money before going back to her family.
But this wait is five years. Aunt Sue went back to her family for the first time after five years of marriage. At that time, Aunt Su's mother saw Aunt Su suddenly crying, probably because she missed her too much. Aunt Sue saw that her mother's hair was obviously much whiter.
Originally, we thought that the purpose of marriage was to be happier, but in fact, what marriage itself taught us was not necessarily to perceive happiness.
Because marriage is that two strangers get to know each other, fall in love, and then accompany each other, in the initial process, because of different personalities, more running-in is necessary, so the previous marriage is actually just adaptation.
Aunt Sue's marriage, in retrospect, was mostly wronged.
Besides rarely accompanying her back to her parents' home, her wife rarely takes the initiative to help with housework, on the grounds of male chauvinism such as "I am a man and housework is a woman's business".
Therefore, when Aunt Su gave birth to a child, although Uncle Su was always around, she still resisted carrying excrement and urine for her, and finally there was no way out.
For a woman, the grievances during childbirth can be remembered for a lifetime, and so can Aunt Su. Because his wife didn't serve her well in the second month, she fell ill in a month. For this reason, she thinks that Uncle Su is not a good husband.
Then there is the education of children.
When the children reach school age, all the things that the men do are done by the aunts themselves. In Uncle Su's view, he was not good at interpersonal communication from the beginning, and he could not learn flattery, so Aunt Su finally licked her face and sent her son to a local school.
In their 30-year marriage, there is still a big problem, that is, Uncle Su does not support Aunt Su in finding her own dream.
Because she loves reading and writing, Aunt Su will go to the bookstore to buy books whenever she has time. For this reason, Uncle Su has always said that she wastes money and spends useless money.
Aunt Sue has been forbearing, forbearing. At that time, she thought, maybe other people's marriages are the same.
Perhaps for most people, they have reached a certain age and they have lived for so many years. There is no need to toss about, let's spend the rest of our lives in peace.
Maybe in some people's eyes, the rest of my life is not long and I am not important, so I will try to convince myself that "it's okay, it's no big deal."
However, some people think that the rest of their lives is actually very long, and how to make themselves happy is very important.
Aunt Su is such a person. It is precisely because the child is older that she feels that her responsibilities as a wife and mother have been completed, so next, she will fulfill her responsibilities as a woman.
Maybe on this road, she will have many questions. What does it matter if she doesn't understand?
Because happy people are often in the minority, it is enough for her to ensure her happiness. Why should she care what others say? After all, life is her own, and there is no need to live for others.
Both sons supported the decision of divorce, and with the help of the eldest son, Aunt Su entered a writing class and began to learn some writing knowledge.
Although I don't know what will happen to her in the future, I believe that when a person begins to really live for herself, her heart must be happy, and there is no need to accept those fearless grievances.
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