Lu Xiaoman wrote in his diary: Actually, I envy wealth, not wealth. I just want a happy family and a close partner. She needs vigorous love to be worthy of her celebrity status and heart.
Such a woman as beautiful as flowers and pure as jade, in the torture of marriage, faded a little and lost her heart. At this time, she met Xu Zhimo who was unhappy and frustrated in the same marriage.
A dance of 1924 brought about this breakup. When Xu Zhimo stepped into the ball and saw Lu Xiaoman in a graceful dress, he was immediately attracted by her beauty and charm. Since then, Xu Zhimo has become a frequent visitor to the Wangs.
When Xu Zhimo fell in love with Lu Xiaoman, she was a divorced single family, while Lu Xiaoman was a real married woman. Xu Zhimo, hopelessly in love with this woman, knows that this is the only soul mate he visited in the vast sea of people. Xu Zhimo once described himself as deeply shocked by Lu Xiaoman: I asked you in Zhenguang tonight, do you remember the first time you felt your bun rubbing my face in the theater last year?
During this period, Lu Xiaoman became the poet's source of poetry. Xu Zhimo said: The source that nourishes the poetic soul of my poems is on you. You should hold my poem like a mother holding a child. If he is cold, you have to dress him. If he is hungry, you must give him food. If you love him, he won't be hungry or afraid of freezing. If you love him, he will have life! He declared his love for Lu Xiaoman to the whole world: What I did was to seek the peace of conscience and the independence of personality. In the vast sea of people, I am lucky to visit my soul mate, not my life, nothing more!
As you can imagine, when this incident came out, Xu Zhimo naturally became the target of public criticism, and even his family joined the crusade. Faced with great pressure from the outside world, Xu Zhimo decided to leave China and come to Cambridge to say goodbye here.
Soon after Xu Zhimo came back from England, he asked Liu Haisu to help solve this relationship. So Liu Haisu organized a dinner party. Shortly after the banquet, Wang Geng agreed to divorce Lu Xiaoman.
1925 At the end of the year, Wang Geng and Lu Xiaoman dissolved their four-year marriage, and Lu Xiaoman was only 23 years old when she divorced.
After divorcing Wang Geng. Lu Xiaoman and Xu Zhimo together, happiness seems close at hand. But at this moment, Lu Xiaoman is in deep pain because she finds herself with her own flesh and blood. On second thought, Lu Xiaoman chose abortion for love and freedom. She didn't tell Wang Geng and Xu Zhimo about it, but secretly took a close-fitting girl and asked a German doctor for surgery, but claimed that she was in poor health and needed a rest. Unexpectedly, the operation was a great failure. From then on, Lu Xiaoman collapsed and could not have another child.
However, her remarriage was under great pressure, not only from her mother, but also from Xu Zhimo's parents.
Xu Shenru told Xu Zhimo that if you want to remarry, you must get Zhang Youyi's consent. Zhang Youyi is a clever man. She had learned about Xu Zhimo's love process from her brother Hugh Ho Chang, so she said she had no objection. Later, with the help of Hu Shi, Liu Haisu and others, Xu Shenru reluctantly agreed, but there were three conditions-the wedding expenses should be taken care of by himself, the wedding must be introduced by Hu Shi, and Liang Qichao should marry. After marriage, Xu Shenru must return to the south and live in his own place. Xu Zhimo agreed one by one.
192610/0.3, the seventh day of the seventh lunar month, that is, the legendary day when Cowherd and Weaver Girl met, held an entertaining and sensational wedding in Beijing Beihai Park, which touched almost all the big names in China cultural circles at that time. The groom is a gifted scholar Xu Zhimo, the bride is Lu Xiaoman, one of the four talented women in the Republic of China, the witness is Liang Qichao, and the host is Hu Shi. There are too many participants and insufficient preparation. In a word, they are all famous figures in China's modern history.
However, compared with the congratulations of witnesses, the above-mentioned grand occasion is only a passing sight. At the wedding, Liang Qichao said to his students: Xu Zhimo, you are impetuous, so you have no achievements in learning. You are a man who is not good at love, even divorced and remarried ... You are all experienced people, divorced and remarried, and you are not experts in love. In the future, repent and turn over a new leaf! May this be your last marriage.
Although Xu Zhimo regards Lu Xiaoman as his soul mate until death do us part, and although their works, such as Love Xiao Mei Za, Notes of Mei Xuan and Diary of Lu Xiaoman, are world-renowned, there are more and more pains and troubles between them.
Lu Xiaoman once said to Yu Dafu's wife Wang Yingxia: Marriage is the grave of love, and Xu Zhimo is a romantic poet. The love he yearns for is best in an unattainable position, which is an illusory love. Once he marries the woman he loves, his fantasy is shattered, his enthusiasm is gone, and life is just plain boiled water. In addition, Lu Xiaoman told Xu Zhimo not to play cards or smoke opium. At the same time, Xu Zhimo's father, Xu Shenru's indifference and indifference to Lu Xiaoman also contributed to her emotional distress.
And Xu Zhimo is also deeply distressed by the life of taking part in accidental amusement. 1927,1February 27, 927, Xu Zhimo wrote this bitter sentence: I wanted to go to a remote church to listen to the Christmas chorus on the winter solstice, but I put on a bloated costume and made a guest appearance in an uncomfortable form of putrid drama; I want to write a few lines to warm my soul on a cold winter night, but I follow people to the waxed ballroom to admire the waitress's golden shoes and socks.
Later, out of great dissatisfaction with Lu Xiaoman, Xu Shenru made a clean break with the couple economically. As a result, Xu Zhimo had to work part-time at Guanghua University, Soochow University, Shanghai Law School, Nanjing Central University, and even Peking University in Peiping. He also rushed to write poems in his spare time to earn money. Even so, it is not enough for Lu Xiaoman to squander.
The relationship between the latter two gradually deteriorated. 193 1 year 1 month 65438+8, Xu zhimo flew to Beijing by postal plane and the plane crashed on the way. It is also a miracle that all three people on board are 36 years old. Even three people, Xu Zhimo * * *, survived. Lu Xiaoman was 29 years old.
After Xu Zhimo's death, Lu Xiaoman stopped going out to socialize. More than a month after Xu Zhimo's death, Lu Xiaoman wrote "Don't Cry". "I used to laugh at people's hypocrisy when I talked about' heartache'. I think people feel pain in their hearts. Just for fun. Who knows that I really tasted the cramped taste today. " Sadness and yearning jump from the paper.
Unforgettable Dragon Boat Festival
In Lu Xiaoman's beautiful and sad life, Weng Dragon Boat Festival has to be mentioned.
Weng Dragon Boat Festival is the grandson of Weng Tonghe, the teacher of Emperor Guangxu of Qing Dynasty, and is congenial to Lu Xiaoman Yi Bei. He and Weng Dragon Boat Festival often smoke together on the sofa in the living room.
In the years after Xu Zhimo's death, Lu Xiaoman was almost alienated from others. The Xu elders are only willing to pay her a little living expenses, which is a drop in the bucket for Lu Xiaoman, who is used to luxury. At first, Zhang Youyi tried to help Lu Xiaoman. Later, Zhang Youyi went to Hongkong with the Xu family, and no one helped him.
At this time, Weng Dragon Boat Festival came to Lu Xiaoman's side. He has always supported her and cared for her. Soon after, the two lived together, and Lu Xiaoman was strongly criticized by the outside world. Weng Dragon Boat Festival is still very devoted to her. As long as she is happy, he will do anything.
Lu Xiaoman said that she only had feelings but no love for Weng Dragon Boat Festival. Even such feelings are valuable. Imagine a helpless, abandoned woman who can't survive. At that time, in the face of so many accusations, she was so contemptuous and indifferent that she even refused Hu Shi's help, just because Hu Shi's condition was that she would sever her relationship with Weng Dragon Boat Festival and be able to bear everything in her future.
In times of difficulty, we should support each other, not beautify it in the name of love, let alone uglify it with other notoriety. Therefore, in the later years, Lu Xiaoman no longer associate with Hu Shi. Where is this determination and firmness that a weak woman can achieve? Not just a pitied woman. In troubled times, who is qualified to despise such feelings if you can persist in this way?
As time gradually faded away from the mask hidden in Lu Xiaoman, those worn veils gradually became pieces. Lu Xiaoman, a woman who has been accused by thousands of people, finally wants to show the world all the beauty she exudes again. Lu Xiaoman has always had a clear conscience about his relationship with Weng Dragon Boat Festival. She said: Xu Zhimo saw what I did, and he would understand me and not blame me. She also said: love is really not there, not in the face, not in the mouth, but in the heart. In my sleep, I seemed to hear and see Xu Zhimo's approval.
In the early 1960s, Weng was seriously ill during the Dragon Boat Festival. He entrusted his good friends Zhao Qingge and Zhao Jiabi to take care of Lu Xiaoman and died on 196 1.